My Amazing Dad

Dad, I'm glad that you are no longer suffering and in pain, you really have suffered enough. We lost you on the 19th August, not even 3 weeks ago.. is this why I don't feel anything.. why I feel so totally numb.

I wish that you did not have to go through what you went through in the last 2 weeks of your life. I wish that we could have talked one last time, that we could have had one last hug, conversation and laugh but this still would not have been enough because how can I ever have enough of you.

If you spoke what would you have said to me, I think I know as you told me over the last 6 years that you were ill so I guess you told me most of what you wanted to say. I know that you loved me very, very much, that I am your Nessie and that are very proud of me, that we were always very close. I know I meant the world to you and we had a special bond.

I said to you in the last 2 weeks everything I wanted you to know, I hugged you, I told you I loved you, I pretty much did not leave your bedside, I tried to make sure that at any moment I could ease your suffering I did my best to do so. I held you hand all night, I jumped up everytime you became slightly conscious again because I wanted to make sure that you knew you weren't alone and because I wanted to cherish every single last moment I could with you because you have always meant the absolute world to me and I have always absolutely worshipped you my funny, kind, amazing, everything dad..........I really am going to miss you more than words can ever say and I can't believe that you are not here, I LOVE YOU DAD, YOU WILL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Ness7 Ness7
1 Response Sep 7, 2012

I'm sure your dad is looking down on you and is so proud to have a child who loved him as much as you did.<br />
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Your story sounds very similar to mine 5 years on. Best of luck and I promise the pain fades with time, but always hurts deep down (but not as bad)