Diamonds Are Forever

I lost my father 6 months ago, today. It's a day i'll never ever forget, and a part of my memory that I try very hard not to think about.

My dad was diagnosed with C in January of 2011. It was the most unexpected and unreal moment of my life. One of those things will never ever happen to you...but it did. Even after his diagnosis, it still didn't really sink in what this would mean. Between January and September, my family and I spent a few very difficult and dark months. Chemotherapy...hospital visits..medication...it was intense. I speak very surface about it, because digging any deeper would be to stir up something i've blocked away.

September 2011, Daddy was deemed healthy enough to get off chemo. The C was suppressed from growing, successfully, and we were able to go on a family trip to our motherland, Ethiopia. It would be our last trip together, but little did we know that...

My father returned from the trip with some health complications. He would then travel once more to Jerusalem, with my mother. That is when his health began to fail. He returned in May 2012, with failing health and confusion. That's when the doctors told us, his C had spread. And was taking over his body. Between May and June, Daddy tried radiation, more chemo....and he went back to the hospital memorial day very weak. A week later, on June 6th 2012 he passed away. Yes, we all sat by his bedside and wished him our goodbyes. We cried, we wept, we mourned. And here I am, 6 months later....stronger, but still very weak.

Daddy was the definition of strength to me. My source of courage and pride. The best father, ever. His love and compassion, his unwavering love for his family..all reside in me.

I miss him more than ever. It hurts, and it consumes me at times. I wonder if one day this will get easier.

Diamond85 Diamond85
26-30
2 Responses Dec 5, 2012

It's ok you'll be fine

I am so so sorry for your loss and can very much relate! My father passed away two days ago from lung cancer and even tho I knew it was coming I was not prepared...