My Dad Died While I Was Pregnant.

In March of 2004, we got the news that my dad had late stage 3 lung cancer.  In June, I became pregnant with my second child.  I didn't know if I should tell my parents.  Would it be something for my dad to try to live for, or would it be so upsetting to him to know he might never see his grandchild.  I did tell him.  In October, I found out I was having a boy.  I went across the street to the hospital and told my dad.  I went to my parent's house every day possible to help out, whether it was giving the medicine or reading a book.  On October 29th, it was just my dad and I at the house, and we actually watched a program about funeral rights.  In the afternoon, he wanted to see the ultrasound videotape I had.  He gathered up all the strength he had, and walked into the living room.  As he watched his grandson, he had tears in his eyes.  After I had gone home, my dad was rushed to the hospital, and put into a coma.  That was a Friday night.  The next Thursday morning, he passed away.  My son, now 3, is the spitting image of the grandfather whom he has never met, but who has seen him.

triciafly triciafly
31-35, F
31 Responses Nov 3, 2008

That sucks my aunt died of Brest cancer ☹️I miss her

My mom is currently fighting with cancer right now when she was diagnosed with it in September of 2014 they gave her months to live, it's been over a year now and she's still fighting, I know the cancer will get to her eventually and I will loose her but for now as long as she is still breathing I'm spending every chance I can with her

Sorry to hear. I lost my mother to cancer. It's a very hard to see someone go thro such pain

Sorry to here that 😟

I lost my grandmother to cancer last month and I miss her so much that hurts, we think the ones we love are forever but they are not. I wish I could hear her voice one more time

Dear triciafly
Although my father is alive (thank God), I completely understand how it feels. I'm so sorry for your loss.

My dad died the day I found out I was having a girl he was so excited about being a grandad and he was completely unconscious so he never found out he died so suddenly to from a heart attack it's hard to deal with it still at 23weeks is the grief going to affect my baby

Sry to hear about your father. My father passed away on August 17, 2011 last year.I was 7mo pregnant. I was worried about my babies health also because of the emotional heartache and grief. My baby is 10mo old now and such an easy going babybaby. He is my second child and so easy to handle, completely healthy and happy. He makes me wanna have another.

Hi triciafly I am so sorry about your loss,I gave birth to my daughter in april and my mom died thanksgiving day I was devastated,it was her first grandchild,I didn't get there in time,I felt awful.just talking about it is making me tearful, but time is a healer the one thing that helps me to move forward and fell good is the fact that she died in christ. To all who lost a loved one my sincere condolence but in time it does get a little easier in time.peace and blessings to all:)

That sucks a ton! Damn, just before his grandchild was born, your father died! That sucks for you, him, his grandchild and a whole bunch of other people!<br />
<br />
I'm sorry.

Wow very touching story.. Things like this makes life a bit more realistic to me, like having those small yet meaningful experiences really shape how you act. Very mind blowing story, thank you.

I also lost my father while I was pregnant with my first child. I didn't know I was pregnant till a few days after he had passed away. At times, it's almost unbearable that I can't share my sweet babies with him. God bless.

I was about 8 weeks pregnant with my first child when my dad died of a sudden heart attack. He never got to meet any of my 4 daughters, but I was glad that he at least knew that one was on the way when he died. You did the right thing in telling your dad so he could anticipate it with you for as much time as he had left.

Isn't it crazy how so many people have had such similar experiences? We aren't really alone, are we? <br />
I miss my daddy too.<br />
hey yall, keep your head up<br />

I am so terribly sorry that you had to experience such a huge joy at the same time you had to experience such a huge loss. I wish you well and I hope that you and your family have recovered from the huge loss. <br />
Words can't make it better and time doesn't always heal wounds in time but I hope you are well and I hope you are enjoying your baby boy. <br />
Good luck to you

My bday is in a few days... I spent my 27th bday in the hospital with my dad. He was released because there was nothing more that could be done for him. He died on April Fool's Day.<br />
My pregnancy was terminated when a guy ran a red light and crashed in to me but it wasn't discovered until the next month, on the very day I was leaving with my mom, brother and our dogs to Las Vegas so I could get married to my long time fiance. I promised them that I would return in three(3) days on the following Monday to have the DNC surgery so they let me go on that Friday to Vegas... and when my brothers walked me down the isle only a few people knew that I was carrying a baby that had died the month before. <br />
There was a nice thing that happened though, my sister's bf sang Elvis's song, Can't Help Falling In Love and that made every single person in the chapel cry because they knew my dad was such a huge Elvis fan. It was almost like he was there to see me walk down the isle.<br />
On a darker note, my husband abandoned me 4 1/2 years later and he did it in a horrible way.<br />
I guess he didn't want a "broken" wife.... Along with losing my baby, I suffered a spinal injury that is inoperable. <br />
<br />
So, things could be worse... you could be me.. <br />
<br />
Please delete this comment after you read it; it's way to dark, a major downer.

well lets see i lost my dad to lung and head a neck cancer in july 2010 its been really hard we all knew he had cancer but we thought it was beeing treated and it wasnt .so im having a hard time on why my dad didnt tell us just wish he would off i love him so much and miss him alot ...

My father passed away when I was 7 months pregnant with his first grandson (biological). He found out he had stage 4 Liver Cancer around Thanksgiving 2008, and passed in March of 2009. It happened all so suddenly. I'm of asian culture, so my parents are very superstitious and believed a pregnant woman shouldn't cry or be sad because it will cause her baby to be unhappy and ugly. So, I never knew my father was sick. He was given 6 months to live, but had the option of surgery to prolong his life 5-10 years. My dad agreed to go through with the surgery and everything was supposed to be routine and he was expected to be home in 10 days, so my parents still neglected to tell me. By the time my mom and sisters told me about my dad, he was already in the hospital and suffering complications. The crazy thing is that you never would've guessed my dad was sick..<br />
<br />
I never got the chance to tell him how much I love him, or how thankful and proud I am to have such an amazing man for my father. It breaks my heart. It's been over a year since my father passed, and next month my son will be one. I still cry over losing my dad, and I don't know how to cope sometimes. I even get a little jealous because I see the bond my son has already developed with his other grandpa. Life works in mysterious ways that seem so unfair.

sorry to hear about your father.something similar happened in my day my mother called and told me to come over and i found out my father had colon cancer. i saw my father wither away.the last time i saw him was in the hospital,and the next month i had a doctor's appointment and found out i was a mommy.i cried even more because i'm his only kid.i was so hurt that he would never see his grandson and 18 months after he was born, his granddaughter.i know he watches them and laughs at the chance to see his baby with babies.i look at them and try to make him proud of me everyday.all the best to your families

awwwwwww that's sooo swee ttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt!!!

When I lost my father I was devastated I was daddys little girl I had one child at the time & thought he could do with some company & it might fill the emptiness I was feeling a little that was my second child another boy what a lovely gift

It is so nice to hear I am not alone! Thanks to everyone for sharing, and to add a happy note:<br />
My now 4 year old son wakes up in the middle of the night laughing hysterically. I always go in to tuck him back in and ask my Dad if he could make his appearances in the day time instead. Makes me smile!

I want to thank you for sharing your story and it made me cry and sad all at the same time. Just about 6 and a half moths ego I found out the one thing that had not been shared with me and that is that the man I call dad it is not it! but as I put it now the donor I do not care to know who he is or where he is because the man that gave me his name and made me the man that I'm today is the one that deserves to be called DAD and he is the one I love and cared for and the sun in my life. I can only remember growing up and always trying to be like him in every aspect. I still do not understand how my mom and dad had it so well hidden and I never suspected it may have been because I was never treated any different from my other siblings on the opposite I was the one that he always turned to for things to be done for him, and now I know why he is my dad, my best friend and my confidant and that is because GOD planned it that way. I read your story I know understand that my DAD is my super hero and he will always be. Now I have someone in my life with two kids of her own and they are looking at me the same way that I have always look at my DAD and that is with Love in my eyes so now is my turn, so I will try to give him and his sister the same love, education, compassion, fate, knowledge like my father gave to me and I will try my best. <br />
Thank you for opening my eyes to the love a son has to have for his father.<br />
<br />
For all those fathers out there Happy Fathers Day in advance!!!!!!!<br />
<br />
And for the MOM’s lots of LOVE with out you we are Lost!!!!!

I know exactly how you are feeling hun. I found out i was pregnant early 2005 and the first person I wanted to tell was my Mum. She was over the moon. A second grandchild! She had always been a poorly lady and was in a wheelchair and I thought that this would be the lift she needed. When I was seven months pregnant she went down hill dramatically and within 3 days she had passed away. She never got to see her granddaughter or her twin grandsons that were born the year after.

I'm so sorry for your lost, i lost my mother on June 7 2008 to cancer it is very hard because my mom has always lived with me she was there when i got married and when i had my three children, all the birthdays,awards. But the sad thing is physically she couldnt be here for when my son and his band perform on stage,but as i hade tears in my eyes and her photograph in my hands facing the stage i knew she was there (she wouldnt miss it ).

Triciafly, I can relate with what you expressed in this beautiful memory, but it wasn't my ***** donor that passed it was my mom. She has been gone since 7-3-97, she was just 47 yrs young when that horrible illness we call the "Big C" took her life and she began to die the minute she was diagnosed on 4-15-94 ( I was working for TicketMaster at that time) and I got the call at exactly 11:58 a.m. I went into complete shock ( I even forgot my name and where I lived---I swear) and I remember everything that happened as if it happened yesterday. She made me promise to be strong for her, my sister and my grandma and I never ever broke my promises to my mom.<br />
I can still see what she looked like the day before she died and how she smelled like death was just around the corner and that's when I finally cried, for the 1st time, in front of her.<br />
The pain of losing a parent never goes just becomes easier to deal with it. Yes, my mom has been gone for a long time now, but I still smell her favorite perfume ( Hawaiian White Ginger) , I can hear her telling me to get the hair out of my face, I can , at times, feel her embracing me as if to let me know everything is going to be alright.<br />
To this day, I feel tremendous amount of guilt that I am still living and she passed and left me. I remember begging and pleading with the doctor's to kill me and I would sign any and all forms and take whatever she needed so that she could be there when her 1st grandchild was born. I was even going to kill myself and leave a note saying that they are to replace any organs that the cancer had infected with mine. The dr's told me it would not matter since she is in stage 4 cancer and it is too aggressive to treat and even if they did that there's no guarantee she would live for very long because the cancer will over take the new organs.<br />
I miss my mom so very very much, but I know that she is not suffering and is very happy. I am truly sorry for your loss, please take care.<br />

I know exactly what you are feeling and I am so sorry for your lost. I was 4 months pregnant with my son when my mother passed. I want to tell you even though you think your father did not see your son, believe me he has. Our loved ones are always with us, watching over us. When we die we go to a better place, free of all negativity and sorrow. My son has actually felt my mother caress his face at night sometimes, if your child says he sees grandpa, he does. Children have clean hearts and souls that are not bogged down by all we stress over. They can see what we don't see, because they have clean thoughts. God Bless you and give you strength and open your mind to believe your loved ones are around you. They will come to see you in your sleep, as to not frightened you.

I lost my father for cancer in 2001. I still don´t have children to name him after, but many children are named after him, so it is comforting. Many people and my family misses him and I do also, although not as hard as before. Looking at his picture reliefs me. He lives in my memory. I am glad, that you have a child, that can remind you of him, and I am glad that he knew, that you were having a child. It must be very comforting. We still remember him on his birthday. The sun always rises that day.

You know, its amazing how God works. I'm sure this is all so much in His WIll. I know how hard it is to lose a father, mine we lost when i was 9. But, a similar situation, kind of, is that, my husband is the spitting image of my father(not that I see him that way), my father died March 12 of 1979, my husband was born August 23rd of 1979. I had a dream, with my father telling me he is in heaven and not to worry, because all my needs will be met. They are. Its amazing.<br />
I'm sure your father is watching over you all, always!!!

I gave birth to my son in the same hospital where my father died just 4 months earlier. The moment my son was born, I could see and feel my dad standing behind the doctor, looking healthy, smiling, and crying. I can't explain it...I just knew. I knew that after he died if he was ever gonna be with me in spirit, this was that day. I get choked up thinking about it. I was crying so hard, and was thanking God for letting me see my dad and knowing my dad's spirit was with me and that he was ok. All the pictures taken right after my son came out, I am just in tears. I was crying because I had given birth to a healthy boy, and for the first time since my father passed, I could grieve.

I can't believe reading your story - my dad died March of 2007, literally 5 days before my first scan for what would have been his first grandchild. I was 19 when he died, and was distraught. When I had my son and he was not there, it was hard... what made it worse, was he used to work where i had my son and everyone was talking about him. I understand he suffered too much, just wish he could have met him, he would have been great. My dad now lives on in my son and everyday i see more and more of Dad in him. My son like yours, is a spitting image of my father, which helps in a way.<br />
I just wanted to share this and I talk to my Dad everyday, and everytime I look at my son i am reminded. Take Carex

i am so terribly sorry about your loss. i too lost my father, but not to cancer. he died of kidney disease at age 52. <br />
my religion teaches that those who have "passed on" are able to continue to know and love the unborn, because we all existed spiritually before birth into mortality. after physical death, we continue to live and enjoy our families, but in another sphere, which is all around us. i have no doubt that your father knew your son before he was born, and loved him. he still does. i only wish your son (and all of us) could remember his life in "the pre-existance" to mortality. your son knew and loved his grandpa before he was born, and he will remember and love his grandpa again after he passes on, hopefully at an old age. <br />
i'm sharing this with you because this knowlege gives me comfort. also, because i believe it's true.<br />
God bless you.