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Sep 26th, 2007
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H
e smoked since he was 13 or something like that I heard my mom say. He's always smoked. He smoked in the house when we were all infants, of course back then they weren't aware of second hand smoke. He was a wonderful man as I remember him. He was so mellow. He always had a smile on his face and something funny to say. He cared so much for his family.
He married my mom at 23 and they had 6 children, 3 boys and 3 girls. The perfect family. We were so happy together, had a beautiful 5 bedroom house with a big back yard. We went to private schools and even had a maid. Then one day my mother noticed he would make a face whenever he pushed on the brake. She asked him if he was ok, of course he said he was. He never complained of anything, he hated going to the doctor's. But as time went by the pain got worse and worse. So my mom ended up dragging him there. It turned out they had to operate on him, but when they did they just closed him back up and said they were sorry but there wasn't anything else they could do. The cancer that had started in his lungs had spread all over his body. The doctors gave him 6 months to live. They tried chemo but unfortunately didn't work. He died at 43 leaving 6 of us behind. The oldest 17, the youngest 4. I was only 7. I never cried. I remember seeing the casket and going up to it and starring at him just laying there....lifeless. I didn't understand why he was dead. I tried to cry like everyone else was crying but I just couldn't back then. Now I'm making up for it. It's hard to grow up without a father in your life. Not only that but he didn't have life insurance so we had a lot of financial trouble after he died. My mom had never worked in her life before that so she had to suffer a lot doing odd jobs to support 6 kids on her own. I have a lot of respect and pride for my mother. She is one awesome lady. 
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  | Posted Oct 8th, 2007 at 1:40PM Smoking kills more people in the US every year than all the illegal drugs and the crime of murder combined. My father, grandfather ,and grandmother all died of lung cancer or emphazema. Mom had emphazema too, but cancer of the pancreas took her.   |
 | Posted Dec 15th, 2008 at 5:44PM I'm so sorry that you lost your father at such a young age :( |
 | Posted Jan 3rd, 2009 at 6:00PM I feel for you, my husband is a smoker and I have tried my best to make him stop, he has tried to stop too, at last I feel hopeless and wait for something to happen for him to stop it for once. I am in a place where is sociable acceptable and it makes me sick, I hate it and I hate the ignorant people who think I'm funny for not accepting it as a normal thing. I wish one day he would stop and stop letting people smoke in my house, yeah like if it wasn't bad enough I have to deal with the whole family & friends second hand smoke. Sometimes I get so mad and tell him off but others I just shut up to avoid the sour moment and pick a fight...My only hope is that he would stick to his promise and when we have children his smoking will stop forever. |
 | Posted Jan 8th, 2009 at 4:54PM You seem like your mum, incredibly strong and kind. Thank you for sharing. I'm sorry to hear your story and hope that things are a bit better now. :) |
 | Posted Jan 12th, 2009 at 10:08PM Damn, that is exactly my story. Exactly. Right down the line, only he had 3 boys. I was 13 or 14 when he passed. We did not cry, because by then I was just numb. Second hand smoke really screwed my lungs. That and my mother. My brothers seemed to make off better. They were younger. Since I worked so closely with my dad, I took up the father figure for my two brothers. To this day I have a sorta control over the house. But my mom was so messed up back then, she hated me twice more, just because I reminded her of her late husband. Wonderful time. But damn Reading that was like reading my life as a kid. |
 | Posted Jan 13th, 2009 at 7:41AM Sorry to hear you share that same pain along with me, sometimes it can take a lifetime to heal. Sometimes it helps to know there are other people like us out there who have been through the same experience. If you wanna talk about it sometime IM me. Hope things are better for you now too. |
 | Posted Feb 21st, 2009 at 7:57PM I am so sorry for your loss, even tho it was long ago. Bless you, my friend. I lost my daddy to cancer 7 1/2 yrs ago...he was a wonderful daddy...he was 71..I still miss him like it was yesterday. I need him still. Hugs. |
| Posted Feb 26th, 2009 at 7:54AM Very sad, " but " I would attribute this man's premature death ( 43 ) more to genetics than smoking. I am 68 and have smoked since I was in my very early teens. The " majority " of my friends who have quit smoking have died of colon, liver, kidney and all of the other numerous cancers too many to mention. I did learn one thing from this story: If I should get a pain while braking my car, I'm headin' for the doctor. +2 nods |
| Posted Feb 26th, 2009 at 11:25AM Thank you Mseinna, I'm sorry for your loss also. I miss him and still need him too. hugs back, Lily |
 | Posted Feb 27th, 2009 at 2:12PM I am so sorry for your loss.my husband died at 62 as a result of smoking,he had multiple myeloma,we were married 40 years in 1985.i never smoked but i have COPD cause of second hand smoke,one if our girls has COPD also.please have your family`s health check often.my family are all grown now ,but i feel if he lived as long as me (81) they could have benefited from having a dad, he was a wonderful spirit filled man.BUT HE SMOKED.Blessings to you and mom |
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He Smoked
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