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How Do I Deal With A Dying Father????

Hi All,

I'm just coming to the realization that I'm losing my father to cancer. I was in denial and thought he would make it through this but it doesn't look like that's going to happen.  He keeps on saying that the Lord may need him in heaven.  I feel helpless.  It's  hard to see the strongest person you know now so weak. He doesn't get out of bed and looks miserable and I can't blame him.  I guess I just need to know what to do to make him happy? I feel horrible that me, my mom and my sister are living our lives around him.

2/23/10

Yesterday was the roughest day for me. So rough that I had to put how I was feeling on this website which is not like me at all. I'm a very private person but the feelings I was experiencing yesterday for my dad had me over the top emtional.  I cried all day yesterday at work. Secrectly of course. I finally called my mom and told her how I was feeling. She was shocked because I'm the strong one in the family. Sometimes I think they forget I'm a woman too. I'm a lot like my dad. Very strong and stubborn.  Well my off the wall feelings were validated when my mom called me after she had arrived home from work and notice strong fumes in the house. My dad had tried to comitt suicide by backing up his van to the window of the house and closing all the doors. So odd how my connection to him is so strong that I felt this.  Now my mom believes what I was trying to tell her which he is depressed.  This was a wake up call to all of us that we have become numb to all that is going on around us. We need to start reacting. So today is a better day. I decided to visit more often and going to buy a wheelchair today so I can take him out and have the sun shine on his face. I will live everyday for him.  I will make sure that his last days are filled with happiness and joy.

 

2/23/10

Just received a phone call from my mom. She just got home from a doctors visit with my dad and was told that there is nothing else they can do but make him comfortable.  How can a live in this world without him? I have never had to live in this world without him. Who will I turn to?

JodiPen JodiPen 31-35, F 4 Responses Feb 22, 2010

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Well my dad was diagnosed with liver failure and its been a roller coaster ever since. But I put my trust in God and ask him for guidance in this time in our lives where we the children have to step up and care for our loving parents. Its not easy seeing your love one die slowly in your eyes but I give thanks to God for being here for me am allowing my dad to be part of my life till now. I will continue to battle with this and continuing loving homage making his last days the best that I can.

I feel like you're living the same things I lived a month ago. My dad went to the doctors as well and they told him "we can't do anything for you" which was heartbreaking. I recommend you spending as much time as possible with him, give him all your attention, remember the amazing times you had with him because that's what will prepare you for what's coming. I along with my mom and my sister, need to stick together through this rough time and so do you and you family..Be strong, show him how much you love him, this will definitely show him he's done a great job as a father. God Bless :)

Thank you aces4battle. That's exactly what I'm going to do.

To make him happy, try repeating a lot of experiences you have learned from him. My stepdad passed away 15 years ago and even today remember manny little advice that has helped me. If anything you say is not exactly right, let him correct you. You will get a laught too and enjoy his last comments to you. When he does leave, you will have enless joyful memories that will keep your smile and happiness going.