I Lost My Father One Month Ago
I lost my dad one month ago unexpectedly, he was a very hard worker and a wonderful provider. Unfortunately he was not the type to follow up with his health. He had a few seizures in the past but they could never find any reason for them besides stress. In the long run he seemed fine just really tired he was only 56. Then one day last month on a late Sat night he called and asked if someone could pick him up from a friends they had spent all day puttin in a heater in. It was late about midnight, my father never stayed up this late, my sis did not want to so I went. He seemed fine we talked the whole way and when we got home he even stayed up and had a beer with me. He was quiet I figured he must have been exhausted. Finally around 1am or so he took a muscle relaxer and went to bed. The next morning (Nov 4,07) a woman was coming to take pictures of my daughters and the family my father wanted them done at his house, so I was busy cleaning and getting things together so I figured I would let him sleep. Around 11am my sister's boyfriend(DJ) said " you should go check on your dad I can't believe he is still sleeping" I went up to go check on him and he was on his stomach with his face in his pillow and his hands clenched he was gone, I can never forget that moment it brings tears to my eyes everytime I think about it. How could this happen? What did happen? I ran down the stairs and just looked at DJ and he knew I asked my fiance(Jim) to please come up with me to make sure and I thought maybe I was wrong and I could fix it, it was like a bad dream. We called an ambulance and I sat by my fathers bedside holding his hand and crying I was not and am not ready to let him go. Losing someone you love so deeply changes you and turns your world upside down so quickly it is unbeleivable. Then you can not even grieve right away cause you have to deal with arrangements, family, arguments and so on. We are still waiting for the autopsy results to find out the cause of death the autopsy doctor thinks it may have been sudden cardiac arrest but they needed to examine further. It leaves you empty I still think I am in denial and it is just my 18 year old sister and I, my father was not ready for this I guess no one really is but he had no life ins or ret money, no will, it's crazy I miss him so much. It is so hard to understand that a person could be right in front of you at one moment then gone the next I still wait for him to walk through the back door and say it was all a joke ( he was a big jokester) but I can not argue with God and I look forward to being with him again but for now how do you try to be happy again? It is do difficult to move on and feel normal again, I feel for you all and may God bless you in your time of suffering, may they all rest in peace!