Don't Say The Word Suicide Around Me!

My father commited suicide about 2 years ago and I still haven't gotten over it. He hung himself in our garage. I HATE the S word so bad! Whenever someone says it I get depressed or insulted if they made a joke about the S word. What hurts me the most is that I didn't say hello or goodbye to him that day. He was an alcoholic so we don't know if he was drunk when he did it. I always took him for granted and that is my biggest regret and i wil never forgive myself! I was 13 when that happened and that was my worst day ever. I remember I was on the car with my sister when I got the call from my mom explaining to me what happened. I didn't cry instantly and I still remember that same confused feeling like if it happened yesterday. I was in shock because it never crossed my mind he would do that and I never thought of him dying in any way. He was the best person in the world for me now that I think about it. He was always there for me when I needed him, he was very helpful and informative, he would give me advice, and tell me to not give up, and he actually believed in me. Unlike my mom whp never did either of that. I try to think of my mom as positively to avoid the same regrets as my dad's but iti need to keep trying. (Rest in paradise dad i love you with all my heart and i hope we can meet again up there someday)
ilOV3yOU ilOV3yOU
13-15, F
1 Response Jul 30, 2010

My dad commited suicide when I was 17. He was in our garage as well. Me and my brother both found him there. I know exactally how you are feeling. January will be 2 years for me. If you ever need someone to talk to..feel free to talk to me.