I am and always have been Daddy's Girl.

MY Beautiful dad past away on 22nd of march and im not really cooping to well with it.
My dad was an amazing man he exuded love from every pour of his being the only person ive ever felt loved me without conditions Ive never been close to my mother so its a hard time for me.

I had a wonderful experience with my dad the week before he passed we spent two hours in his apartment laughing and joking around i had my pjs on an and he he kept tucking my feet up in a blanket still treating like a baby he kept holding my hand squezzing and saying i loved all of ye... my dad and mam spilt when i was eleven and i had quiet a painful childhood as he left for England i missed him immensely
I dnt think he ever recovered from being seperated from his children, and turned at times to drink for pain relief. mam is mentally unstable and quite a violent person, he couldnt put up with her anymore in fact i dnt speak much to her as i find her impossible to be around..
dads funeral was beautiful i wrote a poem for by dad and siblings

Daisy chains and lullabies

Looking back how it used too be,
Growing up you and me.
Playing games and singing songs,
Too those days my heart belongs.

Too daisy chains and lullabies,
To Tramore beach and magestic skies
Long be our lives Long be our days
Long live our souls, long live the ways
Of daisy chains and lulabies.

'Lets go out lets play games'
Can we make some daisy chains.
Every day sun or rain,
You make me make those daisy chains.

Eachothers shelter from lifes storm,
Feel Dads, peace in ealy morn.

Your there for me a burning Flame,
Your there for me there is no pain,
That can divide a Love engrained,
A bond we built like daisy chains.

The five of us are Daddy's pearls,
His soul filled eyes and golden curls.

 On live his life,On live his days,
On live his soul,On live the ways
Of Daisy chains and lullabies

Ive always written helps me clarify my thoughts about life the service was beautiful all us kids and grand kids wrote we love you granddad on the beach in tramore surrounded by a love heart covered in shells and got a passer by to take a photo of us all kids and grandkids in the photo ... we then had the service at the holy cross tramore and Donna sang piesu requiem i chose all the songs dads partner told me after that dad had mentioned how he loved that song...from there we went to the crematorium in cork the drive to the island is beautiful the sun was shining so much that week driving across the sea with wheat fields was like driving into heaven my uncle recited a fav piece of poetry and the we played dads fav song the fields of gold... you'll remember me when the west wind moves among the fields of barley instinctively everyone sang....then just me and my siblings remained in the church which is actually in a cave .....I asked my brothers and sisters to levae any regrets they had here we said the serenity prayer and I sang daisy chains and lullabies and id recently put music to it with a mucisan friend then the five us said our farewells to daddy and left the church ..on the way home a song came on a cd from the lost brothers ...who could love you more than me...heart breaking as i know no one will ever love me the way my dad did.

we got dads ashes back a week later ...at his request we spread his ashes in the ladies slip and tramore beach .
we said some more poetry and prayers and released a wreath made of daisy chains and poured a bottle of whiskey into the sea as he was found of a drop.....its also where his  own  mam use to swim..
we kept some of his a hes to bury at his brothers grave down toward the back strand we buried tobacco there too i left five sunflowers on his grave as he helped us to grow them when we were kids... we then set of Chinese lanterns and three or four flew off into the night sky, mine took off but landed quiet near  by,i believe its because he couldn't leave me so i brought the lantern home with me .
..all of the kids packed up his apartment this for me was the hardest part...i was sitting in my car crying my heart out when i felt my dad say 'its ok that my girl'...then ten seconds later a stag do came down the street singing My girl !!!!!
.then my daughter  last night brought a pic up about a film we had watched where a boy got stung by bees and died the film was my girl.!!
i know he is with watching me giving me signs that hes there when i need him.

Dad, I miss you so much and cant believe your not here to  hug me make me laugh and tell me you love me. 

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26-30
May 23, 2012