I Know How It Feels

In April of 2001, My dad had stomach pain that he thought was a kidney stone, so he went to the doctor and found out that he had cancer. Originally they thought that it was cancer of his Kidney, so in april of 2001 he went and had surgery where they took out his left kidney. In May of 2001, a few weeks before my 18 birthday, he had another surgery to take out part of his lung ; it was at that point they gave him 6 months to live. Things were really hetic around the house, he was doing well until the summer of 2004 when he started going downhill. In december of 2004, he was at his worse, Christmas that year was the worst time. On christmas day he made a statement that brought tears to my eyes, still does to this day, he told my brother and I that we needed to go to sleep so our mom could wrap our gifts. It was heartwrenching to hear my mom tell him that it was christmas day, he didn't even know. A few days after christmas he was admited into hospice, they told us there was nothing we could do but to keep him comfortable, he stayed for 3 days and came home. On January 9th, I woke up in the morning and my father was freaking out because he couldn't feel his legs, his feet were purple. My mom called Hospice, as well as family (My entire extended family was at the house that day), I couldn't take the waiting (I new he was going to die), so I went out with my boyfriend (at the time) and our son (who was 6 months old), I felt like something was going to happen so I asked him to take our son back to his house overnight. I came in the house about 8pm and went to sleep, My mom woke me up at 1am and said that he had died, a few minutes earlier, he just stopped breathing. I was in a state of shock, I didn't cry when I was told, I felt like I was dreaming. I calmly got up and went downstaris to call Roberto, seeing everyone crying, made me feel worse, I couldn't cry and i felt like ****. Roberto told me at the exact time my dad died, our son woke up from a deep sleep, sat on the floor and stared at the wall with a big smile on his face, and laughed for 5 minutes. Roberto automatically knew my dad died, without me calling him, I truly believe my dad visted my son one last time before he left. After we got off the phone, I just had to get away from everyone, I got online and emailed a friend to tell her he passed. Christmas time is really hard for me now, every christmas I remember the last christmas that my dad was alive & January 10th (the day he died) is also a hard time for me. It's been 3 and a half years in June.
Robertosmama Robertosmama
22-25, F
May 2, 2007