I Lost My Father

My father died today. I cannot believe he is gone. I am afraid to sleep for that when I wake I know then it will be true. Right now I feel like he is still in his hospital room and I need to go see him. He was released yesterday am to come home. I helped him to the bathroom, to get dressed. He had been a very sick man for many years. His feet were purple. He had congestive heart failure and pnuemonia. I had no fathom that when I walked out the door yesterday, I would never see him alive again. I went this am and was allowed to go into see him. He was so peaceful, like he was sleeping. But his lips were already blue. He wanted no service. He is retired navy, served in vietnam. All he wanted was to be buried at sea which is what is going to be done. My heart aches like it has never ached before. He was 71 and he and my mother just celebrated 50 yrs of marriage. I was also daddy's little girl. The first girl born in 43 yrs, and his only daughter. I am the oldest of 3 more brothers. My mother keeps telling me to stop crying. I am a stroke patient and I am not sure if she is worried about my health or if she is just being hard. She lets my brothers cry. I will be 50 in Nov. I ache, I hurt, I kissed his face and told him he could go anywhere he wanted now, that he could walk without pain, eat cheesecake without my mom stopping him. Oh God, what do I do now? He's my dad. My precious father, I'll always love you and pray that I will see you again.

Your loving daughter forever,

Donna

I lost my father in May of 2007. He was 90. Since he had advanced Alzheimer's, losing him had been a slow, lingering process that had gone on for nearly 19 years.



Yet, it did not make the process any easier. It hurts to lose your father. It may get a bit easier with time, but it is hard to forget being "daddy's little girl", isn't it?



Thinking of the memories and the good times you shared will help you to get through this time. God bless you.