Time Does Not Heal All Wounds

I lost my father 10 yrs ago. He was 45 years old when he had a heart attack in front of the Ratheon Building in Philly. No one helped him because he fell on his face and there was blood. The hospital brought him back with angeoplasty and he lived in a coma for a week and then died on May 5th 1999. We are originally from a small town in Oregon and I always thought that if he would have collapsed here at home he would still be alive today. Some one would have given him CPR regardless of the blood.

I will tell you no matter how much time passes it still hurts more every day. Every time my children smile and he is not here to see it, every time I hear the Beatles, Led Zeppilin or James Taylor. Every holiday. My son graduates from High School next year and is goin to University of Ore. My father would have been so proud. God I miss him so much. I can't stand it. He never even met my youngest son. He would have loved him so. I don't know what to do. Is it supposed to hurt this bad for so long. He died when I was 26. About 6 months later I met the love of my life. We have never been married cause I can't stand the thought of anybody else walking me down the isle.  This is all I can say for now I am already crying.


Thanks for listening


myztrisT myztrisT
36-40, F
Mar 9, 2010