I Lost My Fiance
He was the love of my life. No one treated me like he did. He appreciated the thing I do. My inspirations. My dream. My philosophy. My everything. He loved me for me. The day he met me, he told me... "I knew you were the one. The moment you laughed, my heart told me you were the one." We had been engaged for about 6 months. During the 5th month, I had to return home. I had to visit my family. I was so scared cause I was going to be away for 3 months. And he would be going back to Germany for 2 months. I cried every night to him scared that something would happen. He assured me nothing would. His soothing vice would calm me down to the point where I trusted his word. My fiance, my love, my world had told me that we will make it. Off I went. I left the islands. He promised me we would talk everyday. He promised that he would be there. He told me "whenever you get lonely baby, just look at the moon, and know I am looking upon you as you sleep. Making sure you are safe. I am always there. And when that doesn't help, close your eyes and feel your heart beating. My heart is your heart. I will be keeping you strong. I will be there." I took those words to heart. The night he flew to Germany were the longest 15 hours of my life. I had a gut feeling...but I didn't listen. The first month went well. We shared my birthday. Our anniversary of months. We shared our love still. Then one day, it all went away. I was at a camp as a counselor. I was battling a serious sinus infection. I had woken up from a nap and noticed i had gotten a message from him. I hadn't heard from him in almost a month because the internet was never working. The first line that I read was... "Hey, I don't know how to tell you this but...." At that moment I dropped my phone. I fell to floor and screamed. I knew what this was. I knew this was the end. I kept reading even as my heart was breaking. I couldn't believe it. My fiance was leaving me. Telling me he wants change. He wants to experience new things. He is not ready. He wants me to move on. And the worst...his heart doesn't want me anymore. The man of my dreams, had left me. Over Facebook. The only way we could communicate. And he had been feeling this for awhile but didn't want to hurt me because he couldn't see me hurt. A thousand miles away, my fiance left me. Realizing he didn't really truly mean the words he said. According to him, he didn't really think about it. And according to his mom. But he said that I will always be in his heart. He told me that even though he is moving on, I will always have a special place in his heart. Right now, I am trying to be strong. I will always love this man. He will always be in my heart. I will never forget him. And as time goes on I will learn to love again. And i hope I will. But I will always love him. The love of my life. But as I fall asleep tonight, I will say goodnight. Not goodbye because our love will never die, but simply goodnight. Because there will be a new day tomorrow. Even if its without him, I will carry on with my heavy heart. I will learn to grow, I will learn to love again, and I will learn that things happen for a reason. But all I can say now, I love you.
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