R.i.p <3

Nearly four years ago I lost my best friend/boyfriend to suicide.
We were at a party, he was taking care of me because i'd drank too much so we sat by ourselves upstairs alone watching movies until I fell asleep.
I woke up and he wasn't there.
I searched the house for him and I found him dead on the bathroom floor.
I didn't even cry. I couldn't cry. I went into shock.
His family blamed it on me so they didn't even let me see him in hospital or go to his funeral.
I never got to say goodbye to him.
I blame myself.
I was too wrapped up in my own problems to notice what was going on in his life. I didn't see the warning signs that were now so obviously clear.
I could have saved him.
He could still be here with me right now.
liioness liioness
18-21, F
3 Responses Dec 15, 2012

I know how you feel, one month ago, my boyfriend committed suicide after his sister died of cancer. I need to know, will I ever feel ok again? or will I hurt like this forever?

My best friend lost her boyfriend to suicide and she blamed herself you can do that Hun. I'm here to talk if you need to

hey liioness, im so sorry for your lost!! :( but you cant blame yourself.. its not your fault! try to pray for him instead! may god be help you my dear! if you need to talk im here !