The Girl Of My Dreams.

This one was my first love, she meant so much to me and i did give her everything. But she did truly love me. It started my junior year, my longest relationship before her was under 2 months. I saw her one day at the end of school. She was absolutely breath taking, but she was dating my friend, so every day I would just go and talk to my friend and admire her. At the end of the year they were still together, so for the summer i didn't see her, & then luck played on my side. She was scheduled in my class and lunch for senior year, so everyday I would just she how beautiful she was to me in class. I was in the perfect position. Then fate came when she became single, I made my move, and we had our first kiss in my car behind my house. She was perfect, and we were going great until home coming dance. I kissed her in the parking lot, and her mom and ex saw. I didnt know he lived there because of situations. She grounded her, and her mom hated me, wouldnt let her see me, and only wanted her to be with her ex. We stuck together though, and we never gave up, we started writing notes to each other and she would sneak out and meet me at the church by her house. A month later, we were finally aloud to date, but her mom still hated me, and said her dream is to always see her and her ex married. It was hard because he lived there. But we worked through it, we saw each other everyday, I gave my virginity to her at about 2 months, just before i was 18. 6 months down the road, tragedy hit. She left me, because she didnt know what she wanted, it was the hardest week of my life. She came back, saying she cant believe she did this to me and she loves me more than anything. then a week later, I caught her flirting with other guys. It broke my heart, she said she was sorry and i took her back, cause she swore to me it was only me. Then i became clingy, and had to fix that at our 8 months. We hit 9 and i finally changed, and our relationship was perfect for about 10 days, then it hit again. She text me saying she was confused about who she wanted to be with between me and her ex, I went over and at first she didnt want to see me. eventually she let me up with her mom, she was crying all day. I hugged her, told her i love her and to stop crying, I wiped her tears and told her itll be alright. I asked before i said anything, do you want a break? and she shook her head no, but I knew. I told her I dont want to be hurt like this anymore, I explained everything i felt for her, and i forced these exact words out of my mouth, "I love you, & I want to be with you more than anything or any one, but I have to break up with you. You dont know what you want, & I dont want to hurt anymore." Her mom started crying, the one who hated me most cried because of what i had to do, her dreams changed. I changed them. I love her, I had to do it, shes kissing her ex, but they arent exactly together, I dont know what to do, its been 2 days, I barely ate, I cant be alone, I dont sleep alone, I've been staying with my best friend and my cousin usually, because i just feel so empty, shes still the only one that makes me feel better usually. she still loves me and has feelings for me. but for now she wants him. I dont know what to do, I cant even be alone. I want her back so badly.
sollezach1243 sollezach1243
1 Response Sep 12, 2012

I understand exactly how you feel but if she does not know what she wants in life then maybe this is the best thing give her time to sort things out in her head and see what happens from there.