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I Got a Boyfriend and Lost All My Friends

I moved to Southern California the week  I graduated college, The problem I have is that for the past three years I keep finding and losing people to be friends with.. a boyfriend breaks up with me, suddenly I've lost all the "friends" I had overnight.. then I move to san diego, where friends from college were.. But because my lifestyle changed, ie. I got into a serious relationship = my "best friend" I had out here forgot about me,. she moved on and replaced me with a group of sorority girls who like to party. It crushes me so much and I find myself crying a lot- because I think about all of the times we've had together.. I am alone a lot while my bf is at work at night, I feel like I dont have anywhere to go where I will have friends because it seems they don't last very long. Im 24 and I think about getting married someday and having no one there when I've always imagined it differently. What do I do.

K8alysia K8alysia 22-25 3 Responses Feb 7, 2009

Your Response


Call your friends and tell them how you feel. The thing is that people are so busy with themselves and their bf's that they don't even notice that they are losing their friends. They don't realise it and everybody should be waiting for them. When their back on the ground they noticed that people have moved on. they too have the right to protect themselves.

Oh I forgot to say, get married in Vegas. Thats what I am going to do. They have a small wedding culture where anything goes. You don't have to have 10 bridesmaids or a lot of guests to have a good wedding. Check out the hotel and chapel websites.

Ya I have had trouble keeping friends also. College seems to be the great divider as people move away to school and decided to stay in that area after graduation or intertest change as people become adults.<br />
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What happened to me was my best friend died at 20 (I'm not 35) and most of my other friends didn't like her. But I wasn't expecting them to be unsuportive in my grieving. Weird huh?<br />
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All these years I thought there was something wrong with me as far as my ability to have people in my life and keep them there. You know, have true friends.<br />
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Then in the fall of 2009 that college student from Virginia went missing when she got locked out of a rock concert and seperated from her friends. She went missing, but she was later found murdered. In the official report of the incident, it is stated that she tried to contact her friends by cell phone but the only help they offered her was to tell her to try to use another entrance back into the arena. I appears that no friend offered to leave the concert to bring her back in, or see that she got home safely.<br />
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I was the victim of fair weather friends. But this story was the first time I had heard of fair weather friendship resulting in someones death! And a pretty popular girl too.<br />
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I realized that there wasn't something wrong with me. I wasn't some undersireable person that no one would be a true friend to. It was just a set of unfortunate circumstances. Just like this girl that went missing.<br />
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I still have a best friend of 20 + years but she lives several hours away from me. But now I have this renewed additude that I can socialize with people and be ok.<br />
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By the way, they have some friend making websites for women that are run almost like dating sites.