"my Dear Grandfather Died Today On His Birthday."

Of all the tragic events that have ever happen to me before , this comes to be the most painful one of all. I feel the emptiness that it brings me t know that I will have to lead a different life now. My grandfather was a man that was fun to be around and always had something to teach me. He was very strong in all ways and I really wanted him to be alive for the birth of his sixth great-grandchild. I am sorry that I didn't see him for a few years and I truly missed him so much. today was his 70 th birthday and my mom and I had called him earlier in the afternoon. He sounded happy, something was wrong but I was not sure what , because I felt strange lately, Not to strange,. I soon have a baby am about 8 months pregnant and I have been wondering a lot about preparing for my own funeral, because truly I believe that I am so scared and need the arrangements. But I felt strange that I didn't get the feeling of talking to him so much as I used to. I did feel the need to do so, since he was all alone in the US. And I wish I was there. When we spoke in the afternoon he sounded happy and he was having fun, I hesitated a little about his health and didn't asked. he spoke to my baby Sara and to Emma and shortly after that I hung up. Only this time I didn't say I will try to get in touch as I used to every time that I called him and I really didn't expect him to die so sudden. He had a massive heart attack early last night on the 17th and my mom came up to my apartment to give me the news. I had sent my daughter Emma to get some folder sheets for her school project and she was taking a while. When she reach upstairs she said that my mom was talking on the phone saying NO, No, No , No and was crying, then I knew what was happening, She said my mom would be up shortly and then when she reached and gave me the news that papi had died I cried and we held each other and is now being 5 hours or so and I cant stop crying off and on. We called my grandmie and told her what happened. This is such a sad time for all of us. And I really wish I could go to the States and see the body and collect it and make any and whatever arrangements needed to be made , and I really don't think I will be doing it because I will have to get a visa and his last wishes were to be cremated and sent home to my grandmothers home. 

My grandfather was sick for a long time ever since I was a young girl he had suffered from heart attacks and it was a condition that we had learned to live with for over 15 years and then when he moved to the US we found out he got cancer and even then I thought that he did not have long to live and he conquered all of that , he had many surgeries . Up to his balls and the last I knew he had something in his back growing. All the pain he went thru , finally he must rest in peace. 

My grandpa and I were very closed we would talk about anything, go any where together and he was always there for me to give advice and love. He did love to smoke a lot and he liked to play his luck with numbers.

His favorite was number 3.

I know that we will miss him and that he gave us the best life he could and I know for sure that it will be very hard for me to accept his death. I loved him and will always have a special place in my heart for him and then memories we shared.

He gave meaning to my life and hope.
My last words to him were Te quiero mucho papi. " I love you very much daddy" and I thank God that he was with me all this years and thought me so much. 
Rest my dear papi. We love you forever.

yisi yisi
26-30, F
5 Responses Oct 18, 2010

Loss of a loved one is hard but focus on the life they lived, the life you loved, not on their absence

i lost my father in october last year and my mother just 10 months before that. very tough time for a while.

my deepest sympathies.

Thanks Kimmy.

Thank you

So sorry for your lost.