Growing up around grampa was hard. He took out alot of anger on me but I wanted him to like me so I always tried to be good around him. When I was a teenager, he started being nicer to me and I spent alot of time with my grandparents.He was very sick and I spent alot of time hanging out with him at the hospital.He always told me he was proud of my accomplishments and that him and grandma would always be there for me.Dear Lord I miss him so much.He would play pranks on everyone and always have a joke to tell.The last week I saw him, his temper was really bad. He yelled at me alot .My parents came to get me and he started yelling at my four month old brother.I lost it and told him how much of an *** he was and how i hated him.I ran out of the house and that was the last time I saw him alive.He passed away the same day I was trying to call him to apologize.I know he loved me and I know he knew I loved him, but I will never be able to completely forgive myself for it.
blackcat blackcat
22-25, F
1 Response May 27, 2007

That sucks...but I think you're probably right that he knew you loved him. I lost my oldest brother in 1999 and never got to say goodbye. I'm not even sure what the last thing I said to him was cause he died suddenly (car accident). It's painful for sure but we people down here on earth have got to move on b/c those that are dead already have.