Watched Him Die Slowly And B4 My 16 Yearold Eyes (12 Years Ago)

It will be a summer that I will never forget.  I was 16 years old when this all took place.  My grandpa had been in the nursing home for 5 years by this time.  I would go with my grandma in the summer to see my grandpa at least once to twice a week, that is until his health too a major dive.  Once he really got bad I was going with my grandma everyday to the nursing home and sitting with her as we would both watch his health worsen.  I will never forget the day he died and what & how he looked like.  I went with grandma that day expecting the worse and hopping for the best.  I knew as soon as we got there that today was gonna be the day that he would meet his maker and go on to a better place.  I just wasn't ready for the impact it would have on me and how it would change my perspective on life.  I was the one that made the call to my parents that they needed to get to the home as soon as possible, and the nurse made the call to my Uncle & Aunt.  We had been there for about 3 hours when we got hungry, so my dad and uncle went to get pizza from the local bar.  It wasn't 15 min into our meal that the nurse came to the door and called my dad and uncle over (grandma choose to stay in grandpas room) and told them that he had just taken his final breath.  I never finished my first pice of pizza (and for that fact didn't eat any pizza for 3 months after that, and I still really can't get into eatting much pizza like I did before that day.  Brings back too many memories).  We all went into his room to say our good bye's, and that was the hardest thing to do, not just on me but on all of us.  I was trying to hold it all together, but I lost it when I saw something I had never seen before.  It was the very first time I saw a grown man cry, it was my uncle.  After that I totally lost it and couldn't stop crying, then I had to make some very hard phone calls to other family members and close friends while the rest of them made arrangements and did finelizations at the home.

I didn't do to good during the viewings, we had a two day viewing, since my grandpa was well known along with the rest of the family.  I would have to get up and leave so I could recompse myself.  I had never seen so many people come in and out of one place in my life, and so many kind and carring people that were there for me and the family.  God bless them all for all there support and kidness.

As the day came for the funural I didn't know what to expect.  The church was packed with people.  I remember the walk up to the front of the church as everyone watched in silence.  Then I remember the funural director and helper bring in the casket.  As the prechor took the pulpit there was dead silence as he welcomed everyone to the funural of a wonderful husband, father, grandfather and friend.  As the funural progressed it got harder to handle, the hardest part of the funural was when the precher read a letter from my dad.  It was the sadest and hardest part of the whole funural not only for the family but for everyone in the church.  My father had summed up my grandfathers life into one letter.  I not only had never seen a grown man cry before, but I watched my own father cry.  That was one of the hardest things I had ever seen, as he cried, I looked around and there wasn't a dry eye in the place.  As the funural ended and we all stood in the forya of the church, I saw the paul bears come thru with my grandpa one last time before going to the cematary, I compleatly lost all controle over my body and collapset as my aunt and cosin caught me.

To this day August 20th has a big impact on me.  I will never forget that day or the days following, it changed my life for ever and how I would go on to look at life and how short and valuble it is.  I know work in a retirement/nursing home.  I have seen many residents come and go, some are harder on me than others, but I still miss them all the same.  There have been so many residents that have had many a impact on me and how I view things.

Life is so very short and valuble, you learn from your mistakes and grow from your experiances.  Take each day like it could be your last, you never know when it is your time to go.  Only Christ knows when it is your time.  Always be at peace with yourself and the ones you love.  It has been just over 12 years now since he past away, and I still get choked up and teary eyed when I talk about it.


crazycoolcat28 crazycoolcat28
26-30, F
2 Responses Sep 9, 2006

I am so sorry that you had to go through such a tragic experience at such a young age. God Bless You and Keep You In His Care.

Your grandfather must have been an amazing man to have so many people who loved him.