WHY

What is it like to lose your BEST FRIEND, your SOUL MATE, your EVERYTHING? Your world just comes crashing down,you lose your life,you lose everything that EVER MATTERED to you. It took me 30 years to find him, and I thought my life FINALLY had meaning. My life finally had what I was searching my WHOLE LIFE for. We had a life together that people only DREAMED of. People would look at us,and say how PERFECT we looked together.People used to say, when they thought of TRUE LOVE,they just pictured the relationship my husband and I had. People used to tell us that looking at us, they knew that TRUE LOVE SOUL MATES really DO exist. All they had to do was look at me and my husband. It was like we were a GREETING CARD for Hallmark for TRUE LOVE SOUL MATES.Our lives were `complete`.

My Husband and I would argue about who loved eachother more.We NEVER argued.We never fought.We never disagreed.We never even raised our voices at eachother. We used to finish eachothers sentences.We knew what the other was thinking before we opened our mouths to say anything.For 5 YEARS!.Some people found that unbelievable, but its true.We KNEW we were SOUL MATES.We would text message eachother, telling eachother how much we missed one another,and couldnt wait to get home.

It was like a day like any other.TIL THAT NIGHT. That night,....changed my life FOREVER. My husband had a MASSIVE HEART ATTACK, right in front of my eyes. I didnt know what was happening,and didnt know what to do.I KNEW CPR but wasnt able to do it, I didnt know he was DYING.I didnt know what was happening. He didnt talk to me, he didnt answer me, he didnt breathe. But I didnt see it, I thought he was going to be OK.I called 911,and thought when the Paramedics got there,they would FIX HIM.That everything was going to be OK. BUT IT WASNT. They couldnt fix him,they couldnt revive him,they couldnt save him.                                             My life ended that night.I lost my best friend,my soulmate,my everything.I live with the GUILT.I will FOREVER.       Why HIM? Why US?

LibertyBell LibertyBell
36-40, F
3 Responses Feb 19, 2009

hi i feel your pain and loss, i too lost my sole mate to a heart attack right in front of me,and just like you there was nothing i could do,we were together for 35 years, we worked alongside each other, he was my lover solemate,bestfriend,my everything, this happened just 4 weeks ago,where do we go from here, well i guess we just take one day at time.i have the legacy of our 4 kids and 12 grandkids here with me offering me a huge support base...but im still feeling soooo alone, even in a crowded room. one of our grandsons was born just 2 days before he left us , another one just last week,he is the unlucky one never getting to meet my kev,and not having any memories of him.kev was just 51 we were going to do so much together now its just me.chin up i hope we are both feeling better sooner rather than later,and i know i will never find another like my kev.tessa x

I'm so sorry, Liberty. I have this kind of relationship with my husband, too, although we do fight a little. :-) Sometimes, fighting is good for a relationship, tho. But back to the point. <br />
<br />
I believe that true soul mates will never leave each other, and somehow, some way, you two will be reunited. <br />
<br />
I am certain that he would not want you to be unhappy. <br />
<br />
It seems shallow of me to tell you to just cherish the time you had together...but what else can you do? So many people never even find this type of relationship, ever.<br />
<br />
My four year old is trying to grasp death; we have many animals, and he can't understand when they die. He gets angry, and he says God is mean. I totally understand his feelings...and I bet you do, too.<br />
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I often don't know what to tell him when this happens, all I can do is hold him. I hope there is someone there to hold you, and I wish I could offer more comfort.<br />
<br />
My son also had issues with why he had to poop (sorry)...so I had to explain that living things poop. <br />
<br />
"If it eats, it poops. If it drinks, it pees." Now we have added, "If it lives, it dies."

Dear Liberty<br />
<br />
That was so sad , now i know why I don't visit this place that often any more. I have no answers for you. When you lose soul mates for what ever reason it just hurts and the pain is everywhere but more so in your heart. It feels like its been squeezed worse every day . The more you miss him the worse it gets as you routine and your whole life changes.<br />
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Please have hope that you will meet again and until then you will find why you are still here and what you can do to be happy again.<br />
<br />
I feel the pain of your loss. Please listen to people who have also suffered and don't be angry at anyone.<br />
<br />
Love johnny