My Bob

My husband of 34 years died on Feb. 18, 2011. He tripped on tree branches in my neighbor's yard and fell on his face on cement. He was on blood thinners because he had a stroke 18 mos. ago, but he was completely recovered and feeling well. After he fell, I took him to the ER and the doctor scanned his head and saw no bleed. He told him to follow up with a facial plastic surgeon because he had broken his nose and had a severe laceration on the bridge of his nose.
Two days later he woke up with a sudden onset splitting headache. It was 4:40 am. The headaches did not disapate and I took him to an Ear Nose and Throat Specialist who was also a facial plastic surgeon. He said that he had a badly broken nose and prescibed Hydrocodone for his headache. The headaches continued, he dry heaved, he was sleeping all the time. I took him to a neurologist and he said that he had hyper extended his neck when he fell. He gave him four steroid shots in his neck and sent him home with more pain meds. Finally, I took him to our family doctor, who was shocked at his appearance and after hearing my story, sent him for a brain scan immediately. The results showed bilateral sub dural hematomas which were almost midline. He called an ambulance and my husband had emergency brain surgery that night. By this time, he had been bleeding in his brain for two weeks, on coumadin.
He survived the first surgery, came home, was recovering well and then he fell down and could not get up. Ambulance again, brain surgery again, his brain was bleeding again. He came home for one day, developed more neurologic symptoms, fell down again and back in the ambulance he went. He had his third craniotomy in three weeks. Two days after the third surgery he had a stroke and could not speak. The following morning he had another massive stroke and died in front of my eyes.
If either of the first two doctors had done another scan, he would have had such a better chance of surviving. He was strong and full of energy and was the happiest, funniest person I have ever known. I was so blessed to have had him for my husband.
All of the friends who came to support me have gone home and now it is just me and our dogs, who also miss him terribly. Sometimes I wish I could just die, too. The pain is just enormous. I loved him so much and we did everything together. He was a fabulous cook and I barely can scramble an egg. He was my rock.
I know I will survive this, but I really don't know how. He was older than me, so I knew this day might come, but not now, and not this way. I am going to start grief counseling tomorrow, I know I can't do this alone.
To all of you other women who are suffering the loss of the one you loved most, my heart goes out to you. I know what you are feeling. The tradgedy of this loss seems insurmountable right now. If we pray for each other, maybe we will find our way.
Pandoralou Pandoralou
3 Responses Mar 21, 2011

So sorry for your loss my husband was also a Bob here if you need me

Dear Pandoralou,<br />
I'm deeply sorry for your lost, I have been married just 27 years now and I almost lost my queen to a freak illness some 4 years ago. She was in intensive card for 30 days on a ventilator. You can make it, he would want you too. WE often talk of what if one of us goes, and never do we say we remarry, but lets face it. I have been married mos of my life and I'm spoiled, so if she passes, I will have to remarry for stomach and Landry. Oh did I add Sex, <br />
My Mom was a Stubborn gal and when My Dad passed she told me that she would never remarry because he was the best and she was not going to spend the rest of her life picking up after another man. So she traveled and played and Travel and Played some more.<br />
God Bless and it's ok to Grieve.<br />
Sincerely,<br />

Oh my, my heart feelings r with u. i know your pain .......i too was married to love of my life for 34 years..he died as a result of motorcycle accident. he lived almost 3 days.someone took his life. and i know about wanting to crawl in the coffin with him. i lost it.....only medicine helps me dr. put me on right away to cope...God has sustained me wasnt my time,as i was ask to go go with whole life was with him.we we were kids and grew up together and grew old work is not done here yet...and anyone breathing to read this there work is not yet done faith is strong...but i was mad at GOD.......time,medicine and reading and learning the word of GOD IS THE ONLY ANSWER.....MAY GOD HELP YOU ALL....HUGS