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It Was Just Before Christmas . . .

It was the Saturday before Christmas 2008. He had just come in from shoveling the driveway. I had done it earlier in the evening while he'd been out getting new tires on my car. It has snowed alot and the snow plow had finally come by depositing the a heavy, packed mound of snow on the bottom of our double lane driveway. He returned a phone call to a guy from one of the bands he was in at church, playing for the gradeschool kids worship. The last thing of any real merit I heard him say was "Unless it snows 12 feet I'll be there". He came into the bedroom where I was attempting to watch the end of a session of some TV show on the computer and left to go don stairs. I heard a sound like something rather heavy hitting the floor, but not like a big man trying to catch himselfas he fell. I called out "are you OK" no answer, waited a second or two wondering briefly if I should go check then got up a did. I saw him laying on the floor at the top of the stairs. Yelled something about calling 911 and ran for a phone (KEEP A CORDED PHONE ONE ALWAYS KNOWS WHER it IS). My daugheter came out of her room and did so. I tried to get an aspirin under his tongue but his teeth were clenched, his face was purple his eyes were fixed. I think he was already gone. I started CPR though I have never been taught how while calling my neighbor and walking partner next door the nurse. She was there fast and she did know CPR. Her husband was right behind her, they did the pressing on the chest I did mouth to mouth while he dribbled vomit. The breaths coming out sounded so strange like air out of a big loose balloon. A policeman got there and shocked him, soon after the emergency people. They never got his heart started again. I had gone and gotten dressed, I thought I had to go to the hospital with him. I thought he'd go there and get better. They left the body on the floor for what seemed like hours, the coroner was supposed to come then he called the cop and sid he waasn't so we waited for the funeral home person. I had them leave his head uncovered hoping for the chance to say goodbye. I didn't get to say good bye. The body changed colors in my living room. I kept expecting him to get up. After they took the body away my girlfriend Kitty cleaned the floor. I was so grateful, I was afraid of what would be there.

sadlynumb sadlynumb 51-55 1 Response Mar 2, 2009

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I am so very sorry. How tragic and sudden. I lost my husband to cancer Thanksgiving day of 2008. I found this website in hopes of finding someone that could offer me support with the grieving. I am finding out that I am not alone and that I wish I had the words to help others. If you ever want to vent look me up (mfmm). I hope that you are dealing with your grief better than I. Again, I am truely sorry for your loss.

Maria