Register

I Lost My Love

Trying to Live Alone

By: smilewithpain
Written on April 16th, 2009

after one year of getting hurt , i still work out to stay calm and stable , and you know i still cry everynight . i am just now not able to trust on anyone but in spite of this now i started to learn to live alone , not to express my grief to everyone . I still love him madly and sometime i call him by another number to just hear his voice . manytimes i decided to completely give up but at the same time he called me . I don't know whether he also loves me or not but sometime i also feel that he is also feeling the pain , deep pain , like me . He shows himself very rude to me but I don't know why i feel that he also loves me even  when he don't show any sign for it .

sometime i think that may be it is not a love , just insanity then what is the love . I don't understand

By: smilewithpain
Age: 22-25 , Male
509 people have read this story

Your Response

Please respond with authenticity, support, and respect
By clicking "Post", you confirm that you agree to the Terms of Service of Experience Project, Inc.
2 responses
  • 0
    NEW!
    Spotlight outstanding comments to help more people see them, and to show your appreciation to the author.
    SimpleSimonette
    SimpleSimonette

    I had a love like that. We both realized that we were destroying each other - but couldn't stay apart despite breaking up. It was agonizing, the realization that you have to realign your life to try and be "without" instead of "with".

    Our relationship was a disaster because we were so hardheaded about love neither one of us wanted to accept it wasn't meant to be. Kind of like pounding your head into a brick wall to try and understand the simplest concept - futile and destructive.

    I think it's hard to convince your heart what your head already knows - it's over. Hearts are stupid - deaf and dumb. It only knows feelings, no logic, no common sense. It sounds like he's having a difficult time dealing with this as well. It takes time, honey, time and space. It's like learning to hold your breath - a little bit everyday until one day you feel like you can hold it forever.

    I still love him, mostly because he taught me that I was someone who can be loved. The fact that our break up tore him up as much as it did me also tweaks my ego a little. At one point in my life - I was a person worth agonizing over.

    Apr 17, 2009
    1 like
  • 0
    NEW!
    Spotlight outstanding comments to help more people see them, and to show your appreciation to the author.
    clauca22
    clauca22

    That also happened to me.. Its not love, mabye it is, mabye it isn't. Its an unhealthy "love" its called obsession.. :( I had that for 5 years with my first love after we broke up, 3 years of waste.. Yet I still "loved" him.. Now he has a girl and I live to accept that, now we are brother and sister. :)

    I hope your situation turns out better in your future.

    Apr 17, 2009
    1 like