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I Dream About Her Every Night

i lost my mother to cancer 3 months ago,i dream about her every night and think about her all day,she was the person and the only one who has ever and will ever love me no matter what.Im only 21 so its really hard to deal with i have no communication with my father for the last 4 years so the only family i have is my 18 year old brother.she was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer oct 2009 and 6 months later she was gone.I dont think anyone who has never had this happen to them could understand how it feels and how deep it cuts you when you see your mother crying ask you if shes gonna die and you know the answer is yes but you have to say no and give her hope knowing the outcome will be the opposite,i dont know how to deal =/
luzddd luzddd 22-25 1 Response Jul 9, 2010

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I am so very sorry for your loss. I too think of my mom throughout the day. I call her voicemail several times a day just to hear her voice. I lost my mom 7 weeks ago to cancer. She was gone 2 months after her diagnosis. I told her everything was going to be fine. I actually thought she was going to be fine; just for a little while longer. The doctors never told me that my mom had 2 months to live. My mom and I talked a lot about the chemo drug she was given weekly. I told her it worked successfully for so many people with her type of cancer and stage (I did a lot of research). I gave her so much hope that she thought she was going to be fine. Several weeks later she had to go to ER again. They examined her and the news was not good. She cried and said, "I thought I was going to get better?" That ER visit was her last. She never came home. I feel responsible for giving her hope, then having it fail. It cuts worse than a knife. With the exception of tonight, I do not think about it. <br />
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My heart goes out to you. You are so young. I hope that you can find someone to talk to. You need to find someone, a friend or professional. There is help out there. If you'll take a moment and read the comments on my story page, you'll find some good advice there. Please take a look and absorb. Be strong and find someone to talk to who'll listen and help.