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I Lost My Mother to Cancer

Ovarian Cancer Takes Another Life

By: cazpurr
Written on February 5th, 2011
It's been 4 months since mum died a slow 5 year death from stage IV Ovarian cancer, she was initially given only 6 months to live but lasted 5 years and during this time had a 2 year remission, she'd also battled and won the fight of bowel cancer 20 years earlier, she fought to the end.

I held her cold hand and squeezed when she took her last deep breath, telling her it would all be okay now and that I loved her.

Poor Dad had gone on an errand and missed mum's final breath after having kept a bedside vigil for 2 months, having been married to this wonderful caring lady for 51 years he broke down and we cried together, her funeral was the day before my birthday so my birthday was filled with raw sadness and lots of alcohol.

I miss our talks and seeing her so much as we were so close and I think about her at the oddest moments. Christmas was empty last year, she was the glue that kept our family together as we all live far apart. She loved decorating the house and cooking and entertaining at every Christmas, she had a warm heart for everyone and took in strays on Christmas day. It still feels surreal and I still can't fathom the fact that I will never see her again. My main concern now is helping Dad restore his now lonely empty life.   Cancer sux big time.
By: cazpurr
Age: 41-45 , Female
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4 responses
  • cazpurr
    cazpurr

    Thanks denabob, the nurse said that people who are dying wait for loved ones to leave the room but I thought she just said that to make Dad feel better, maybe you're right though because Mum was always mentally stronger than Dad when she got sick. I didn't leave the room when she was on her own in case she died alone, so I was never going to not be there.

    I'm sorry you lost your mom too, there is just no substitute for a mother, hugs to you too :)

    Mar 1, 2011
    2 likes
  • denabob
    denabob

    I too, lost my mom to cancer when I was 26 years old and about to give birth to my 1st child. I feel for you, it has been 11 years for me and I still am heart-broken, but I feel a pull to connect and try to help people out. I feel for your dad, it must of been hard not to be there. Maybe your mom thought it was to hard for your dad or her, to die while he was there, and that is why she picked a time while he was gone. Give your dad a hug and yourself one too. May you find peace in God.

    Feb 28, 2011
    2 likes
  • cazpurr
    cazpurr

    Thanks very much YouAreImportantToMe, it means alot to know you care :) Casper.

    Feb 10, 2011
    1 like
  • YouAreImportantToMe
    YouAreImportantToMe

    It sounds like your Mother was a real fighter to overcome those battles and hang on for as long as she did. She must have been a very special lady. Your Father must be very special as well to have been married for 51 years and I can tell that you love him deeply. My sincere thoughts go out to you and your Dad. It takes time for hearts to heal and everyone heals in their own way. Please just know, that there are others that care and want you to heal and hold on to those special memories that kept you close. You will forever have that bond.

    Feb 7, 2011
    2 likes