I Lost My Beautiful Mum 6 Years Ago

My Mum died from 3 different types of Cancers that she was suffering with for 5 years when i was 10, im now 16. Im Richelle, when i was 5 my Mum was diagnosed with Breast Cancer. I most likely didnt understand the meaning of this then, although i wish i did now. When i was 8 she was diagnosed with Brain Cancer. I think i understood a bit more then, but maybe not the actual dangers. She was still the same old Mum, funny, caring, looking after her family. I didnt notice until my teenage years that the few trips she would take me on was so i had memories of her when she would pass on. When i was 9 she was diagnosed with Bone Cancer, which she now had 3 types of Cancers. She was such a strong women, never complained to anyone. She passed on when i was 10 when she was no longer able to function properly, even then i didnt have a proper idea of what was going on. But righy up untill the past few years, since i have been getting older i have been needing her so much. I hate showing my emotions because i might come across as weak. But holding it all in is just making me so much more weaker. I need her so much, i dont have many people to support me in my life, and i dont know how to go about things. So much has happened since she left and its not making it any easier for myself. I get upset quite regualarly now. I need help on how to control these feelings abit more.
Shelly04 Shelly04
18-21, F
2 Responses May 17, 2012

I know how you feel. I lost my mom when I was 9 to uterine and liver cancer,and since then there has been a hole in my heart that will never be filled. I always wonder "what if she could have been there when I graduate" or "what if she could have seen me marry someone and have kids?" in the past few years, I have learned that you have to think about it, and just cry. It makes me feel bettere to let out my emotions than just keep it bottled up inside. You have to know the fact that she's gone, and you'll meet her in heaven someday, but it's not now. I haven't found anyone who has understood me, and when I try to talk to my friends, then just say "don't think about it" or something like that, but in reality it's impossible. Sometimes I just want to roll up into a ball and cry. It's not easy, and I know it won't be the same for the rest of my life, but being sad will make my family even more mad at life, and why something so cruel happens. I think it's a message that we need to be mature, and it's needed to make up stronger. I hope you can learn to cope with this. It made me feel better to let my emotions out with someone who truly understands the pain and agony this puts you and me through

please dont be a sad.are ypu trust jesus?