One Year Without My Best Friend
My mother fought with breast cancer for 13 years. She hit a huge bump in the road in January of 2006. She had another mass in her brain. Well, she went to the "best" guy in the state to have her surgery, (this was her second). Her surgery went great. However, a few days afterwards, her incision started oozing nasty stuff and she went back to the Dr. She had a staff infection. She was in and out of hospitals for a couple of months. That infection killed my mom. She went downhill quite quickly and by July, she just said no more chemo. I knew the day may come when she would want to stop. I just hoped it never would. I spent the two hardest days of my life in Hospice with my mom, my best friend, watching her die. I would never EVER trade those two days, as I helped my dad a lot by being there. As I laid on her stomach, holding her cold hand, she took in her last shallow breath...........
August 30th, of this year, was one year without my best friend. Her and I used to talk on the phone at least once a day, but usually more like five or six. I had no idea what I was going to do without that first in the morning talk over coffee. Mind you, she was 145 miles from me, so it wasn't in person most of the time. I miss her. I miss her so much that I can't contain myself. I just start sobbing over some stupid thing on tv that I just wish I could share with her.......but it just can't happen. So, I tip my head up towards the ceiling and just tell her. I really hope she hears me. I could swear she is here. I can feel her. My phone rings with no one on the other end. Could that be her? I sure hope so.
Thanks for listening to my condensed version of the most wonderful, strong and loving mother in the world.
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Posted Sep 14th, 2007 at 6:26PM what an inspiring woman your mother must have been, I feel awed just by reading this sad story. death is just a part of life, something we must all accept no matter how painful it is to let go. think of it that your mother is in a better, safer place now and she is no longer suffering. | |
Posted Sep 14th, 2007 at 6:58PM Yes, my mother was a wonderful woman. But, I do have to confess, I didn't find that out until I was 30 or so. After then, we became the best of friends. It's hard every day to be without her, although I don't cry quite as often and I do enjoy telling the great stories about her. When I remember a touching moment, I will always cry, no matter how much time has gone by. And, I'll also enjoy telling the great stories. Especially because my youngest daughter had just turned 2 when her grandma died. I talk about my mother all of the time. I know she is no longer suffering. It just gets me angrier with Cancer. Cancer is one of the most terrible things a person could go through. Thanks for commenting. Telling others about my mother's courageous fight with cancer, keeps her alive in everyone she touches, albeit even through me. | |
Posted Sep 20th, 2007 at 8:27AM Thank you for shearing the story about your Mum... I decided to write about my Mum too and it was the first story I shared on the forums, ever... I loved her so much... I do cry even typing this message now. That was so unfair that we lost her! She was the best person I ever known in my life. How many people came to her funeral, how many flowers and tears... I don't know it is so hard to live knowing she will never call, never hold your hand and never says "don't worry, everything will be fine, sweetie..." I will always love you, Mum. | |
Posted Sep 27th, 2008 at 9:38PM I can relate to you and your relationship you had with you mom. My mom is now 83 and lives with hubby and me. She has always been my best friend and I can't imagine life without her. I couldn't have children so when Mom takes her final trip, I hope my husband will be able to step in though but hope isn't reality. We are so lucky to be in the minority of fabulous mom-daughter relationships. | |
Posted Oct 12th, 2008 at 9:38AM What a sad and beautiful story. Your mom did what she always wanted to do as a loving mother-she left her legacy in you. I have two children, and when I go, that's the most important thing to me. You're a brave, lucky woman, and please be assured, she hears every word you whisper at the sky. Take care. | |
Posted Oct 12th, 2008 at 1:07PM What a wonderful story. You are blessed to have been able to know her as a woman, and not just as mom. Since I love cooking, each time I make one of moms dishes, she is there with me. Celebrate your mothers life, and show those around you what she taught you, to help you be you. | |
Posted Oct 13th, 2008 at 1:18PM I agree - my mom has been gone for 13 years, and those little things, little ways to celebrate her have been what helped me the most. She's there when I decorate for Christmas (still using so many of her ornaments), there when I see daffodils in the spring, there when I sing, and yes, when I am cooking something she made. I look at the recipes I memorized a long time ago, because it brings her closer to see her handwriting on the pages. You never get over, her, but I think I have decided I never want to. | |
Posted Nov 20th, 2008 at 7:45PM I lost my mum, best friend and soul mate too 15/1/97 my screen name, and for the first year, I was totally out of it. My two daughters and husband were grieving too, but I was too wrapped up in my own personal hell to help them to be honest. It took me about 5 years, and my Doc suggested, to be able to come to terms with her death. All I wanted to know was why she died, and why they couldn't help her. Smoking was the cause, and they couldn't help as the walls of her heart just split open, due to smoking. It never goes away, but, you just learn to live with it, its been 11 years for me, and, I still walk around my house speaking with her, sharing a joke with her, and blaming her if something has gone missing, lol. She always told me that she would come back and do specific things to me if she could, and I'm sure she does too, lol. My mum in law 83, still misses her mum who died over 50 years ago, so it does affect people when your mum dies, but it does get better hun, but don't exect too much of yourself take your time and I always found to talk about her made me feel better too. Lots of people on here who have been through the same thing, you have people who can talk to you about it, I had no-one at that time, but I made it eventually. | |
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