I Miss Her So Much.
Most of you who keep up with me know my story.
I'm 19 years old and my mother was 56. Her birthday was September 1st, so she missed her 57th birthday by a week. She passed away on Sunday, August 23rd after a long battle with cancer.
The date August 23rd will always stick with me. I knew she would die on this day for a long time and for it to actually happen raised my faith. Before, I was atheist or a hopeful agnostic. I believed in science. I now believe that there is a higher power and that she IS in a better place with her deceased loved ones. She's in heaven.
I believe that's why I got that sign two years ago in the first place; to give me that warning of her impending death and to give me hope that she is safe and in good hands. Either that or it could have been a coincidence, but I highly doubt it. There's too many days in the months and too many months in the year for it to be a coincidence. (Note: Read my story in "I Believe in Signs")
I watched her die. I saw her take her last breath. I was there for it all and through it all. There's nothing I haven't seen in my 19 years of life. I have watched my dear mother pass away right before my eyes. She was the only person who ever really mattered to me. I need her. Life isn't the same without her.
She's not in pain anymore and that makes me feel safe. I know she is always with me and that makes me feel safe, too.
There's some moments where I completely lose all composure. These are just random moments in the day when I burst in sadness and tears.
RIP Mom. I'll see you again someday.