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I Lost My Mother To Cancer

My mom had Hodgkin's disease at  the age of 13.  The treatment that she was given at the time was what caused her to get cancer later on in life because the technology to treat this disease was not as advanced as it is today.  When i was 6 years old my mom got breast cancer.  When I was 12 she got breast cancer again.  When I was 15 my mom was told that she had ovarian cancer.  This eventually spiraled out of control and traveled to her head.  When i was 18 my mom was told that she had cancerous tumors in her head.  I am now 19 and my mom is dying.  At the age of 49 my mom is lying lifelessly in a hospital bed.  My moms sharp mind vanished and now she can only open her eyes a few times a day and that's all she does besides sleeping.  Their is pain medicine available but she is just uncomfortable and not in pain so she doesn't use it.  I am not ready to lose my mom at 19 but i don't want her to suffer anymore.  Looking back i regret that i didn't get along better with my mom and i take back all the nasty things that i said to her.  I learned a lot from this experience but i feel lonely and wish that it didn't have to happen to me, however i understand that life isn't fair and all you can do is make the best of the cards that your delt in life.

Taylor333 Taylor333 18-21, M 3 Responses Feb 17, 2010

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thank you all for your support my mom passed away on this past tuesday so now i have to learn how to live with out her which i don't have a clue how im goin to do

I know that there are no words to ease your suffering. I lost my father to hodgekins when I was 14 and he 41. My mother died nine years later of breast cancer that migrated quickly to the brain. My father's death was seven years long. We had time to sit and be with each other, but the guilt of hasty words that family memebers share because they love each other enough to be honest, lingers.

I have no words of advice that would give you a direction. You simply need to love her, hold her hand, give as much as you can and ...

God be with you

oh sweetie i'm so sorry. it's painful to watch your loved ones suffer in this way, you wish that you can trade places and take their pain for them. she knows you love her, those memories of good and not so good times will stay with her, please know that she doesn't wish to leave you either. {{hugs}}