A Mother Lost Too Young.

I lost my mother about a month ago to Kidney Failure. I am 21 years-old and my mother was 54, she was too young. This is a story about bullying at it's worst. My mother was a heavy child and kids used to punch her in the back, call her names, push her, etc. When she would tell me about what kids would do to her she would cry and I knew that she was still hurt by the actions of those children. When she turned 18 she had a bypass surgery that was not very known, my grandmother signed off on the surgery without even considering the consequences. When I was growing up my mother was in and out of the hospital due to kidney stones that were caused by the surgery, after I was born the doctor told my mother that she could not have any more kids or she and the baby would not live. About a year ago the doctors diagnosed her with Kidney Failure and had her go for dialysis 3 times a week. It was rough seeing her go through that. She would be tired, weak, and we could not do the things that we normally could (such as shopping). She had the best outlook of life and was determined to get though the Kidney Failure and see me get married and have kids. Unfortunately, that did not happen. The very last time that she was in the hospital before she passed I witness her basically wither away. First she was depressed and wanted to go home then, she was confused, then she was hallucinating, and finally the very last few days she was just a vegetable and did not know that I was there. It was very traumatic and nobody seems to understand how hard it is for me. I need my mother, she was my best friend. Many people think that if I get my mind off what happened then I will eventually get over it but, that is far from helping. I feel that I have nobody to talk to because every time I try to open up about what happened people change the subject, even my closest family members. Life will be rough, no doubt. If anybody has any ways to cope with this loss I definitely need it.
jenferrara jenferrara
18-21
May 18, 2012