Was It Ever Found?

Perhaps it would be more accurate to say I've never really known how strongly I found religion to begin with.

I was raised (I'm supposed to say "reared" so I've been told, but that sounds so tawdry) in a very devout, Christian household. Black and white. Believe in God, go to heaven, don't believe, well, you know. Unfortunately, one byproduct of this upbringing is the fact that I can't even question my beliefs without feeling extremely guilty. But I do wonder...

When you think about it, it's kind of an odd concept. A superior being, out of boredom, I suppose, creates a race of inferior beings, for the sole purpose of worshipping him. Like all inferior beings, we go astray, and are condemned to the ultimate death sentence. Life in the lake of fire. But wait, there's more. God sends us his savior. One last hope. Just believe. That's what I learned in Sunday school. And my sins will be taken away.

So, what to do with all that? I'm not sure, frankly. I was raised from birth to believe that God was the way. The only way. Only a funny thing happened on the way to the altar. Something didn't take. I still have questions. For example, those of you who have a nodding acquaintance with the bible, have no doubt heard of the book of Revelation. Have any of you read that book? If what Christianity claims is true, and we need to prepare for the "end times" why is the book of Revelation written in such an allegorical style that no claims to understand it fully? I'm mean, Christ's return is kinda important, right? Couldn't you have spelled it out a tad more clearly?

And what about the Islamists, Buddhists, Hindus, et al. I mean, somebody's gotta be wrong, right? Maybe. I've known a very devout Jew, who didn't believe in Christ as savior at all, yet was very secure in his faith. There are Muslims willing to die for their beliefs. Who's right? Who's wrong?

My biggest problem perhaps, is that I just don't care enough about eternity. That's essentially what the Christian faith is all about, isn't it? The hope of life eternal? I frankly don't care if I live forever in heaven, or in Topeka for that matter. If I live my life the best way I can, being the best person I can be, and then when I die and they put me in the ground that's all there is, well, that's ok with me. I'm happy to become worm food. I don't think I have the energy to live forever anyway.

On the other hand, if there really is a lake of fire, scares the hell out of me.
samedeepwater samedeepwater
51-55, M
7 Responses Sep 26, 2011

Very well spoken. I have often thought the same and in the end I am OK with "being the best person I can" also. Thanks for everbodies input on this subject, it was a great read and I am glad to know I am not alone

Thanks for responding, and I agree that it's good to know you're not alone. It's helped me immensely.

In my case, I'd have to say that years of rejection by my spouse counts as my personal hell on earth.

Well, as you probably know if you're reading my posts, I resemble that remark.

I think I could have written this. : ) I am a Muslim, grew up in a Christian/Islamic house hold. Many of my feelings mirror yours to some degree. Im still trying to figure out where Im at with it all. Thanks for sharing.

I assume all the great religions have as their goal rest and comfort for the soul. Yet for me there are the endless questions. Maybe I\'m just not at the end of that journey yet. My study of \"faith\" has had the same result as all of my studies. The more I learn, the more I realize just how little I know.

Like most things I feel faith is constantly changing. I think that\'s okay. Its really more than faith its knowing if I\'m willing to commit to the ideas fully or just linger around them a bit. I really don\'t know where I\'m at religiously any more. I cant say I don\'t care, I do. I think religion has helped me and not hurt me. Its what you take away I suppose. I do feel something is missing that was a positive yet I cant seem to practice in the way I once did. So kind of at a stand still for now. Don\'t know what to do with current feelings.

Faith and religion are not the same thing. That they are used interchangeably is not proof that they are, it is only deception by those looking to gather followers.

You would think the mightiest force in the universe would find a more effective means of communicating than through ancient texts and suited up preachers with silly hair cuts.<br />
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I've actually embrace the guilt and love the feeling it gives me.

Friend, you're not alone. Within the past week, I have lost my religion. I followed Christianity (Southern Baptist, born and raised...) blindly until about a week ago. I've been having life altering experiences, one after another, and it leads me to believe that there is something else, something more, out there.<br />
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I find it hard to believe that God would create miracles for humans thousands of years ago, and then just abruptly stop. Most devout Christians would argue that miracles happen daily, you just have to open up. Okay, I'll give them that, sure. Maybe I'm not open enough.<br />
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But then there's the tried and, in my opinion, not so true method of seek and you will find God. Many times throughout my life, I've asked God to come to me, thought I did find him once, only to pray and ask for guidance and recieve nothing. I'm not a bad person, and there's no reason He would have just suddenly turned away from me. I've lived my life like I am supposed to for the most part. He just isn't ever there when I look.<br />
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You are not alone in questioning your faith/religion, or lack thereof. I'm in the same boat as we speak. Try looking up Consciousness/Spiritual Awakening Symptoms, and see if any apply to you. We are on the verge of something huge, something that millions of closed-minded people try to deny, but I see it happening every single day.<br />
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Blessed Be.

I would suggest conversations with god a book by neil donald walsh. In Ultimate Reality there is no good and evil. we percieve things as good or bad, positive or negative. Everything just is. When God created other than itself polarity came into being.This is what Taoism calls the one becoming two.The two became three and the three gave birth to all things. Orthadox religion can create more fear and questions than it helps.This is christianity to me. Strive to repent ,allow one to simply be human ,christianity is about change always learnig to be more kind ,loving,compassionate but dont beat yourself up when you are not because it is o.k. Allow the seed of love that for christians is the christ within,to grow. As a spiritual seeker I would say never stop asking questions especially question God. Hell as put forth by the orthadoxy does not exist. They use fear to try and create an emotional and spiritual dependence. The hell that does exist is reserved for those that delight in creating suffering and are inflicted with the sin of complete selfishness. Even these are not punished but allowed to feel the suffering they have created in order to learn a spiritual lesson.