Was It Ever Found?Perhaps it would be more accurate to say I've never really known how strongly I found religion to begin with.
I was raised (I'm supposed to say "reared" so I've been told, but that sounds so tawdry) in a very devout, Christian household. Black and white. Believe in God, go to heaven, don't believe, well, you know. Unfortunately, one byproduct of this upbringing is the fact that I can't even question my beliefs without feeling extremely guilty. But I do wonder...
When you think about it, it's kind of an odd concept. A superior being, out of boredom, I suppose, creates a race of inferior beings, for the sole purpose of worshipping him. Like all inferior beings, we go astray, and are condemned to the ultimate death sentence. Life in the lake of fire. But wait, there's more. God sends us his savior. One last hope. Just believe. That's what I learned in Sunday school. And my sins will be taken away.
So, what to do with all that? I'm not sure, frankly. I was raised from birth to believe that God was the way. The only way. Only a funny thing happened on the way to the altar. Something didn't take. I still have questions. For example, those of you who have a nodding acquaintance with the bible, have no doubt heard of the book of Revelation. Have any of you read that book? If what Christianity claims is true, and we need to prepare for the "end times" why is the book of Revelation written in such an allegorical style that no claims to understand it fully? I'm mean, Christ's return is kinda important, right? Couldn't you have spelled it out a tad more clearly?
And what about the Islamists, Buddhists, Hindus, et al. I mean, somebody's gotta be wrong, right? Maybe. I've known a very devout Jew, who didn't believe in Christ as savior at all, yet was very secure in his faith. There are Muslims willing to die for their beliefs. Who's right? Who's wrong?
My biggest problem perhaps, is that I just don't care enough about eternity. That's essentially what the Christian faith is all about, isn't it? The hope of life eternal? I frankly don't care if I live forever in heaven, or in Topeka for that matter. If I live my life the best way I can, being the best person I can be, and then when I die and they put me in the ground that's all there is, well, that's ok with me. I'm happy to become worm food. I don't think I have the energy to live forever anyway.
On the other hand, if there really is a lake of fire, scares the hell out of me.