I Lost My Invisible Friend
Seriously, that is how I feel.
I grew up Catholic, and went to a very nice and open minded Catholic school. When I was very little, I wanted to grow up to be a nun.
I see many people have lost their faith due to negative personal experiences and the like. I have given up my belief in God as a gradual process over time. When I was in my teens and began to ask all those important questions, and no one could give me a good, solid answer, that is when it began. Now, at 34, after my second marriage and first child, I simply find god to be a nice fantasy, but one I can no longer believe in at all.
It's hard. I grew up with the invisible person I could talk to about my problems, ask for help, and sometimes simply cry to in the dark. Now he (she) is gone, and I admit it isn't easy. I feel betrayed by a society that so readily foisted this fairy tale upon me. I still feel I learned some great life lessons and morals from Catholic School and church, but I wish it could have been done without the big lie of god. Because the stripping away of such a fundamental belief is very hard on a persons sense of self.
So, I've lost my invisible friend, and now I have to learn to depend on myself, which I should have learned as a child, instead of being taught to depend on god.
I have so much more to say, but I don't know how, and I'm out of time