I Lost My Invisible Friend

Seriously, that is how I feel.

I grew up Catholic, and went to a very nice and open minded Catholic school.  When I was very little, I wanted to grow up to be a nun. 

I see many people have lost their faith due to negative personal experiences and the like.  I have given up my belief in God as a gradual process over time.  When I was in my teens and began to ask all those important questions, and no one could give me a good, solid answer, that is when it began.  Now, at 34, after my second marriage and first child, I simply find god to be a nice fantasy, but one I can no longer believe in at all.

It's hard.  I grew up with the invisible person I could talk to about my problems, ask for help, and sometimes simply cry to in the dark.  Now he (she) is gone, and I admit it isn't easy.  I feel betrayed by a society that so readily foisted this fairy tale upon me.  I still feel I learned some great life lessons and morals from Catholic School and church, but I wish it could have been done without the big lie of god.  Because the stripping away of such a fundamental belief is very hard on a persons sense of self.

So, I've lost my invisible friend, and now I have to learn to depend on myself, which I should have learned as a child, instead of being taught to depend on god.

I have so much more to say, but I don't know how, and I'm out of time

Aroura Aroura
2 Responses Dec 4, 2008

Yes, you could be wrong about the existence of God. But the thing is, God's most staunch adherents could be wrong too. Nobody really knows, but they like to keep talking like they know. You would think that humility would emerge in the face of our ignorance. Instead, reliance on flawed, unconvincing ancient texts fuels the sense of certainty where none should exist.

MightyJoeYoung,<br />
Thanks you very much for your kind words, and for your prayer. I do appriciate both :)<br />
<br />
I am not angry with god, i really truly simply have given up the belief. i am angry with the society that iinvented god, and told me he was real. <br />
<br />
That sounds rude, and I am sorry. I do not mean to belittle your faith. I admire true believers who, like you, really follow the kindness and love parts of the bible. <br />
<br />
Anyway, I am only human, and admit full well I could be wrong. I do not know claim to know the truth. But since we are all mortal, I guess I'll find out for sure one day.