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I Couldn't Stand It.

I was born and raised as a Christian. I went to church every Sunday, went to a Christian elementary-high school, and am now going to a Christian university. But around a month ago, I saw this movie called Zeitgeist. It's a documentary that almost proves that Christianity and the Bible is completely made up. And it makes COMPLETE SENSE. It's not one of those movies like the Da Vinci Code. It has factual evidence, and it's SO BELIEVEABLE. And I believed it. For the next two days, believing the movie, I cried. I tried to sleep, but I couldn't. It was the most miserable time of my life. My life had no purpose whatsoever. I was in a Christian college learning to work and serve God and Jesus, and now there was no reason to continue or go on because Jesus was just a made up character. I looked for a flaw in the movie that may prove that it was wrong and maybe Christianity is real after all, but couldn't find a thing. Finally, two days later, I went on a trip. I encountered a homeless man who asked me for some food. I had none, so I took him to a restaurant and bought him dinner. Then I gave him some money for a taxi so he could go back to the library he sleeps behind. After I bought him dinner, I just realized how Christ-like I was being. I didn't even THINK about my depression or anything when I decided to help him. It just sort of happened naturally. LIKE SOMEONE WAS GUIDING ME. It clicked. God was trying to bring me back, and he did! The thing is though, it didn't completely restore my faith forever. All in all, Zeitgeist hurt my faith more than the homeless guy helped it. I still consider myself a Christian, but I'm way too logical. Zeitgeist made sense. The homeless thing could have just been a coincedence. My head always rules my heart. But I'm still holding onto my religion because I don't want to feel completely miserable again in my HEART. But my HEAD still wants to know the real truth.
RopinTexan RopinTexan 22-25, M 66 Responses Nov 25, 2007

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I totally know what you mean !! I was also a Christian and I was wresting with all sorts of things that I saw in myself that didn't line up with what the Bible said I should look like. I wrote about it in my Story section here http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/Who-Am-I/3286973

But anyway, I'm doing totally better. I'm 100% excellent in my belief. I have watch The Movie part one about 5 times and took notes and did followup research from those note and I got to tell you. When Jesus said the I set you free, you are free indeed.... I get it now. Indoctrination is a hill climb but the fresh air and clear view are more then worth it.

I have more to say if you are interested in other things along this line.

Cheers

good works don't get u to heaven. It's about relationship with God the Father God the Son and God the Holy Spirit. When u know deep down in your spirit u should be praying and talking to God and then actually do it. You feel a peace and comfort.

I agree.

I was raised catholic but would never set foot in that judgemental hellhole again. I believe Jesus was a good and decent person trying to spread a message about peace, love, and acceptance. I have studied the history of religion. I am not a christian, but I do believe in the basic message. People have polluted this message so badly. It's only about giving and love.Good job living the love. That's all that matters.

I am a pastor and people have been trying to disprove the Bible and Jesus Christ for centuries. Now every religion is organized by man. There is no way of getting away from that. But Jesus Christ was the one who instituted the church from the beginning.<br />
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Do you realize that there is more proof that Jesus Christ existed than that of many historical figures in the world. <br />
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Look up Simon Greenleaf;he was the most the most authority on trial evidence. He considered all of the evidence he could find. Archaelogy, Church history, historical records, eye witness accounts, the physical evidence. He said that given all of this information that the death, burial and resurrection is as valid as any other event in the history of the world.

I say do your own research, come up with your own conclusions but make sure you are right.

Thanks, I'll look him up.

I would disagree on one point.

Paul instituted the church not Jesus. Jesus disbanded his disciples and told them to go and teach what He had taught them ( end of Matthew ) Jesus never had a church or congregation.

Islam is the real truth. The Qur'an is logical and if you just try reading it once, you'll realize Islam is the real truth. Just try reading it once, if you don't agree with it, then, fine your decision...

I was a Lutheran, and it has taken time. I think it was a least a couple months before I was certain that I didn't believe, but then the problem was (and still is a little) what do I believe then? I think I've decided on taking the morals and philosophies of a Buddhist, and it makes me happy knowing that I can do good things for myself and others because I want to, and not because a deity says I should.

I'm an atheist... and I'll go ahead and say that out of all the religion posts I've read, this is by far the most reasonable one and I applaud any other atheist who read it and didn't go off on a rant (I know far too many of "that kind"). <br />
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I actually lost my faith last year. I'm from a very religious family and I don't know whether it was just being away or the fact that my bf is an atheist also (probably that one), but I started asking questions and found what I think are some flaws in the logic of the Bible. Then again, I chose to find them, so I probably looked exclusively for them and didn't take it all as a whole. I know that I do not have an adequate knowledge of the Bible and I don't claim to, so please correct me if I'm wrong. <br />
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As for me personally, I would like to think that I would have helped the homeless man. When I was in New York, I did buy food for one, but I don't think that I would have gone as far as you did. I was too afraid. So bravo for you! <br />
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I forget who it was exactly, but someone else said in the comments (and once again, correct me if I'm wrong) that everything seemed brighter when they turned away. For me, things weren't brighter... just clearer. I was able to look at things logically and work things out on my own without and preconceived notions.

Hey, another atheist who isn't a sad, angry religion-basher! Thank you for your highly civilized comment.

Were things clearer immediately after you turned away, or did it take time? Also, what religion were you before?

a moive is just trying to sell yu somethings<br />
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churchad many of them are trying to sell you something<br />
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the bible was written by man many say underguideances from above like king james thatwanted to devorce his wife so he had a bible written<br />
<br />
like preisdent jefferson that wrote a bible then had it given to congess manyyears ago supoose to tbe the same bible they use to day so you can look around and see it is all BS

I completely understand how you feel. Although the realization that Christianity was fake happened at a much earlier age for me, I have been through this. The whole story about the homeless man only shows the importance of Christian teachings. Christianity as a "path to heaven" is flawed. Here's the reason: If your are accepting Jesus Christ as your personal savior in order to avoid hell you are not being sincere. I really do not think that Jesus Christ meant for his teachings to be distorted as they have been. What is important is living a life according to the prophet's teachings. You should focus a lot less on making it to heaven and a lot more on being the best person you can possibly be. Keep looking, I have faith that you will find an answer to your delimna.

Well for me as Amuslim, i belive in one God and its Allah, who create every thing and Jesus (peace upon him) is only his massenger and prophet, all the massengers and prophets with the same level and we have to belive in that.<br />
There is no justis in the earth, so thats why it should be heaven and hill in the day of judgement>

I would have helped the homeless man and not gave it a thought, and, I am Wiccan, kindness is not exclusive to Christians, it's about your spirit and how generous and compassionate you are

Amen to that !!
It is better to see what your current character is about.
Well said Wiccan !!

www.godallah.com<br />
www.bibleislam.com<br />
www.scienceislam.com<br />
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNHGam5gPKw

i have experienced exactly the same thng. i was a devoted christian, but then it hit me when i thought about my mother. shes buddhist and im christian. what if she goes to hell? she has been a better person than me and i dont deserve it. i started praying but it didnt work. there was no real way of communicating. i had a little talk with her. i was crying like crazy and i couldnt control myself. i told her everything about that. i had held it in since i was little. she told me that no one knows if there is a heaven or hell. we humans dont understand this type of thing. we never will. the mind has cravings for knowledge of life and the spirit, and when unsolved, it can lead to major depression and sadness. eventualy, there comes a time in all of us were we ask that question. who am i? why am i here? is god real? you just have to accept the fact that somethings are not real. its not easy. i had to learn it the hard way. if you love something, let it go. you need not concentrate in heaven. you never know if you have a second life or if you go to heaven or hell. this might be the only chance you have at life.

Good point, TG. But that's postmodern thinking for you. It's a "live and let live" type philosophy. It has good intentions (peace and tolerance), but it fails to do so. It asks great questions without answering them. Postmodernity was a rebellion against modernity because it didn't work either. Neither did premodernity. When it comes down to it, it seems that we may never acquire absolute truth until after death, and even that's not guaranteed. We humans need faith because when it comes down to it, that's really all we have. I choose to put my faith in Christianity. It comforts me.

The statement "Anyone who claims to posses absolute truth is full of it' contradicts itself. It purports to be a statement of absolute truth, stating that there is no such thing as absolute truth. Non-Sequitur.<br />
<br />
Now, if that statement is intended to be relative such that 'all truth is relative' then again it is contradictory because the statement itself purports to be a statement of truth. If indeed truth is relative than I might believe in Zoroaster and that would be true for me; your opinion of my belief would be nothing more than your truth, not mine.<br />
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It all comes down to this: how do you know that what you believe is really real? If you believe that what you believe is really real, do you live that way? If not, why not?

It is a bit hard to love someone who you don't even know exists. I try to love God with all my heart, but I guess I have to believe on Him with all my heart first. That's hard though...I don't know if I believe in anything with all my heart, much less Someone Whom I can't even see.

Yes!! I think so, I think that it's a good idea to definitely focus on God, not religion. He is after all, the one we should be focusing on, and in light of Him all doubts and insecurities, fears, can't exist. I can't talk because I have been going through my set of failures and insecurities lately, and they make me feel far from God, but when I am abiding in Christ, that is when there are no doubts. God loves us more then we can imagine, and not only that though, He wants our love too! To place Him in a place that demands and implies that He isn't real, isn't only as insult to Him, but shows we have no love for Him, which is the FIRST and GREATEST commandment/thing He asks of us. Genuine doubts are ok though, they only come to show us faith.

That's what I love about Christianity...it gives me hope and meaning. That's why I can't lose it again. Maybe I should focus more on God before I focus on Christianity as a whole...you think?

Ohh thinking about if "Christianity" is true or not, is confusing yeah. But if you think about it as "is God" true or not, that makes things much easier! Putting Christianity into a box of religion makes it on par with the rest of the "religions" out there, that's a bad idea, because for many many reason's Christianity shouldn't even be considered a "religion" really. (insert long digression on why not) <br />
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There's truth, then there's not. God is either true, or He's not. He isn't kind of true, or maybe existent. I think trouble comes from so many religions, and everyone trying to push religion or lack-of-religion onto people. Only truth will stand the test of time, and the test of your heart, I've never heard of a Christian, on their deathbed who was without hope, never heard of one who said "I sure think living for Christ was a waste of time." I have heard of atheists though, who were brokenhearted, scared and sad at the end of life, sad that life had no meaning, and was now over. Scared because of the emptiness that they thought they were looking forward to. <br />
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Anyways, sorry for long comment, eek, it's fun thinking about things deeper then the surface sometimes, and we all know that EP aint the best place for that usually, but sometimes it sure can be, Lol! :D

That's true...which is kind of my problem. There are so many possibilities of what absolute truth could be, but I can't obtain it for sure. I can take a leap of faith and believe that Christianity is truth, but I can't know for sure, which drives me batty.

I wouldn't consider Jesus "full of it."

I sure hope you're right, pro :-)

The Truth is good because it allows you to make the best decisions for your life. The truth will not change and indeed it will “set you free” from the bondage of this world and man’s philosophies. You have not found it; therefore it is frightful to you. I was where you are some years ago. Let me know when and if you decide to know the truth…it does exists and it is very GOOD!!!

I'm not so sure anymore. It's like my mind tells me I do, but deep down, I actually fear the truth.

Do you REALLY want to know the truth?

What above reference sounds Mormon?<br />
<br />
You're right...my faith was given to me by my parents. I think that's one of the weaknesses of it...it basically just comes down to the fact that my family is Christian. If they weren't, I wonder if I would even be a Christian today.<br />
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The good thing is that I'm taking a course called Faith & Culture that seems to be helping build my faith. I think it is helping, but I do need to do my own research. I suppose I'm just usually too lazy to do that :-P

The above reference sounds Mormon, don't believe it.<br />
I recommend "the case for Christ" and "The Case for Faith"<br />
I too have seen films, read books and asked all the hard questions, and will continue to ask the hard questions of faith. Jesus is the way. Keep studying. It sounds like you were given your parents christianity. You need Christ Himself a faith that is yours. keep studying.<br />
remember, coroborating evidence is nessessary for real proof. A movie should not move you that much unless your faith was never backed up with a historical look at the faith of christianity.<br />
there is no convincing by my words only. The spirit of God does that. Keep studying!!!

Maybe it was me, but I don't want to believe that...the idea that God was guiding me was what boosted my faith. You can Google it if you want to watch the movie.

The thing guiding you to help the man may well have been you. I'd be interested in finding out was supposed proof this movie has though.

Illuminati? Wazzat?

zeigeist didn't say all of christianity was a lie. it was targeted at exposing the illuminati.

I'm trying, Tzech. I'm trying.

As many have said. There is a big difference between faith and religion. <br />
If you have a firm faith. Even when you find yourself questioning it, it will hold. <br />
If your faith gives you comfort then hold to it.

Wow...Pearl Nabi has a lot of articles out there. Which ones do you recommend I start with?

Thanks Maigret...I think I'll check that place out :-)

RopinTexan, <br />
it sounds like that movie was a real disaster for you... but God always brings the best results out of the worst situations. Believe me, I know.<br />
There is one Almighty God and you can make personal contact with Him. <br />
This is not baloney... the way is narrow, difficult and hard to find; which is why there are so many different denominations out there.<br />
You can find proof of God's existence, His plans, and how to make personal contact with Him in the articles of Pearl Nabi at Helium.com (it's too much info to go into here) but don't be surprised to find things are not always what they seem to be.<br />
You're seeking God - and so you will find the truth!<br />
Viya con Dios.

Well, I'm great at contemplating! What I suck at is arriving at a final decision.

No! No! No, Ronin. Not you! There have been a lot of posts here, and I said some pretty harsh things. I'm very thin-skinned and hate it when people get mad at me. As you say, there are many differing views of good. None of us are ever going to agree completely. And I suppose debate is a good intellectual exercise. But I hate to exercise! Some of them will contradict! But part of our growth is to learn to separate the b.s. from what may be a new way for you to look at things. Contemplation is good for us. But none of us are islands. (As I try to make my argument by going against my own behavior - lol.)<br />
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Peace!

What do you mean the offended will come? Do you think I'm going to reinterpret what you said or something?<br />
<br />
The hard thing about allowing others' input is because there are so many differing views of God, and all of them can't be right because some of them contradict. That's why I kind of want this to just be between me and God.

Oh, Ropin, I am so glad you understood me and weren't offended (the offended will come, I have no doubt). Remember that God helps those who help themselves. In order to make a connection, you're going to have to do some work on your own, and allow others' input (you have the choice as to whether to argue, ignore or absorb what they say). You and God can meet in the middle. But it'll just be for a quick nap. Then it's back to work.<br />
<br />
I'm glad you're feeling good.<br />
<br />
Peace!

Thanks Kelisha...I totally understand everything you've said. My faith isn't gone anymore, as I said at the end. I am a Christian. But my faith does fluctuate a lot. And I think about different religions and how much truth they have in them.<br />
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I think after college (I go to a Christian university), I'm going to work on this more. I'm going to quit trying to figure out all this on my own and through what others say, and instead let God reveal Himself to me. A quest to find God, if you will.<br />
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Thanks for the input though!

Oh, dear friends. Zeitgeist is a movie (and I use the term loosely) which is just as over-edited, re-translated, and brain-twisted as anything in the Bible. And just as phoney as any politician in office. If only the film editing was as craftful as the Bible. It doesn't prove anything! No sources are noted and no facts are given, no less proven. It's just propaganda. Everyone has their own viewpoint, their own theories of reality, their own passport photo of God and the universe. It's just unfortunate that someone gave this guy a camera and all of the stock footage. Seriously, Ed Wood could have made a better move. I'm not trying to tick anyone off, and I hope no one blasts me for stating my opinion (and that's what it is). But it's just pasted-together bits of New-Age drivel and conspiracy theories. I hope Penn and Teller get ahold of it real soon.<br />
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I know where you are coming from, RopinTexan. I lose my religion all the time. I have no idea where to pin my faith. I was raised Catholic, by a strict Catholic father. I left the church when I was 16, and was "born-again" (I HATE that term) as a thinking Episcopalian in my mid-20s. I have worked in the interfaith community for 25 years, and have sampled from all major faiths. I have dabbled in New-Age philosophy, and am a second-degree traditional Celtic Wiccan priestess. Then I came back to the Anglican church two years ago. I went around espousing that all religions were one, and that we all had a piece of the puzzle, with the ultimate goal to come together in peace and tolerance and put our puzzle pieces together. But lately, I don't seem to have a foothold anywhere. Except in my own misery and depression. I've had moments of serendipity when I've been touched by the spirit and led in amazing directions which I felt simply could not have been coincidence. But it's only coincidence if I define it as such. <br />
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We are so damned and blessed by our humanity. We seek to define our beliefs and our realities and our Gods by using the small, intricate brains and the senses which could very well limit us completely, almost as if it's written into our DNA. People seem to think God is carved in granite by us, our history, and bits and pieces we've picked up from books or movies or conversations that fit into our boxes, and that he can't take the scrutiny of us changing our minds from time to time. <br />
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I don't know. Reason and science seem to dictate that what we've been told about God can't be true. So I choose to think that there is no way that I will ever, ever be able to know, picture or define God in terms that I can acknowledge or understand. I may have been able, and may be able, to touch him in ways I won't know. I guess that's where faith comes in. <br />
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But seriously, dude, you seem to be well on your way through a lifelong re-defining and re-analyzing the religion you say you've lost. I wish you the best, I hope you find your purpose and become less miserable. If you do, there's still hope for me. But know this. Your HEAD will never know the truth as you define it - as a concrete, black and white, provable fact. There's nothing wrong with leading with your heart. You're young enough to integrate the too.<br />
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Peace

Well Anotherhuman,All I have to say to that is I hope You enjoy this life,Because it is all you will have.I and countless others will enjoy the benefits of Eternal life because we endure the struggles of this life.God bless You and I hope you find truth before its to late.

@MitchAndMaureen:<br><br />
<br><br />
God does not want us to 'appease' him. We never could. Nothing we have<br />
is good enough anyways because all we have is a gift from God in the<br />
first place. I meant to say that "religion" is man's attempt to appease<br />
God -in their own minds. A religion is a human-centric way to find<br />
supposed 'favor with God.'<br />
<br />
One proof of that is in the fact that each religion is a bit different, catered around human wants and needs. Suspicious a bit? Lol! :p

Heart, you say <br />
<br />
"Those who believe have a certain future and have faith that what comes after this life IS something to look forward to." <br />
<br />
Certain? No certainty. Only faith that you'll have eternal life, which to us non-believers looks an awful lot like wishful thinking. Best of luck to you.

You know Ghost,I was really sad at first,reading the beginning of Your story,But I praise God that He has brought You back.God doesn't mind You questioning Him.Matter of Fact He wants You to,So He can lead You in Spirit and TRUTH.Its okay that You have a mind that is logical.Because service to God and Faith in Christ is Logical.Its the only way.The enemy was trying to steal,kill and destroy Your faith in Jesus.Steal away truth,kill Your faith and destroy Your soul.I praise the everlasting King for you.<BR>MitchandMaureen:I,Myself,would still worship Him.Because If I serving Him in this life and it is all I had.I would be,and Am, honored to serve in His presence.God is My rock.As long as I stand on His word,the bible,I will be blessed and highly favored in His sight.I by no means claim to be perfect.I fall as we all do.But as long as I keep My eyes on Him,I am saved.What does this world have to offer?The unbeliever May prosper in this life,because this life will be their only reward,and they will recieve eternal death.But the righteous,Not self righteous,But those who follow The path of life.Though they may have to suffer for a while,will see their reward made manifest in eternal life with Christ.He gives Us hope,He is hope.What do people that don't believe have to look forward to?Those who believe have a certain future and have faith that what comes after this life IS something to look forward to.God bless you MandM.<BR>And God bless you GhostRiderInTheSky.

hmmm. all interesting points. but i do have a question. first, there was an historical Jesus, son of Joseph, in Nazareth. Roman hisortians make note of him. <br />
However.... much of the bible has been 're-translated' many times. Each slightly different. And, since there was haste in making the new testament cannon some books, either because they duplicated what was in others, or was deemed herectical by the priests who were tasked with formalizing it. Or because they were Paulist as opposed to any of the other Apostles. And when researching litterature we find other resurrection sotries that mirror the one in scripture, (and those we wonce considered holy writ as well). How do you decide that this collection of books, letters, histories and poetry, is truly Holy writ and the inspired word of one god?

Religion: Man's attempt to appease God. Attempting to earn his favor through our own ideas and attempts.<br />
<br />
Faith: Knowing that nothing we can do could ever erase our debt we owe, and being saved through faith that he alone can save us.<br />
<br />
I wrote indepth about this very subject here:<br />
<a href="http://www.experienceproject.com/uw.php?e=467425" target="ep_blank">http://www.experienceproject.com/uw.php?e...</a><br />
<br />
:)

Hmm...I suppose you're right, SNS. How would you define religion though?

In case anyone missed it, the past 8 years were an example of what conviction and faith without curiosity and wisdom looks like (Dubya).

Yes but it is religion that couses the problems, not faith.<br />
<br />
Faith saves, religion causes a god to be created in your own mind. A god which is likely of your own creation.

I don't want to come off as trying to convert you away from Christianity by saying this, but you do sound an awful lot like myself when I was just beginning to let go of Christianity. I was racked with fear and depression by it too, at first. But when I finally accepted life without Christianity, I found things were brighter than ever before, and I was relieved of all that guilt and fear that had been *caused* by Christianity. Anyway, didn't mean for this comment to turn out as an argument against your religion. Just wanted to say I've been there and I know exactly what you're talking about. Except for the going back to religion part. lol

Very true! I suppose I sound convicted because I'm usually trying really hard to get a point across.

I do. In your stories you always seem so certain, so sure of your convictions. Conviction is nice, and admirable at times, but nothing is more important then to never stop questioning what you believe in and why you believe it. Sometimes life will change your mind. You need to be open to that, or risk losing your faith in yourself, and your mind.

I see. I always think and question things...that's just how I am. I'm glad you admire that :-)

Because. You watched the movie, and you really thought about it. You admitted that it made you question things. Many wouldn't think,...even more wouldn't admit it.

Why do you say that?

Yes. I think it was brave of you to share this story.

You mean sharing this story was brave?

Thanks for sharing this. It was brave, I think.

What's the rest of it about? The whole 9/11 conspiracy thing?

Hey GRITS, did you know that there's a sequel to Zeitgeist? It's actually much better than the first, and it doesn't devote a 1/3 of the movie towards disproving Christianity, just a portion :)

Y'all do have a point, but here's the thing. Christianity says you have to accept and believe that Jesus is the Son of God to be saved and go to heaven. Other religions don't say that. According to Christianity, if I don't believe in Jesus as my Savior, I'm going to hell.

And isn't that suspicious? I mean, why is belief on that particular concept so important? As a meme that reproduces itself it makes sense that the notion that "you believe or you go to hell" evolved to spread itself, not because it is true, but because it makes us fearful.

Not all Christianity been based on Jesus being God. Early gnostic Christianity was based on Jesus showing that we are all God. And that actually makes sense. So many Indian gurus have said that. And if you read the Gospel of Thomas, that's what you get out of it. The idea that Jesus is God was invented by John:
"‎"I had come to see that the very premise of Lewis’s argument was flawed. The argument based on Jesus as liar, lunatic, or Lord was predicated on the assumption that Jesus had called himself God. I had long ago come to believe that he had not. Only in the latest of our Gospels, John, a Gospel that shows considerably more theological sophistication than the others, does Jesus indicate that he is divine. I had come to realize that none of our earliest traditions indicate that Jesus said any such thing about himself. And surely if Jesus had really spent his days in Galilee and then Jerusalem calling himself God, all of our sources would be eager to report it. To put it differently, if Jesus claimed he was divine, it seemed very strange indeed that Matthew, Mark, and Luke all failed to say anything about it. Did they just forget to mention that part?

I had come to realize that Jesus’ divinity was part of John’s theology, not a part of Jesus’ own teaching." - 'Jesus, Interrupted', Bart Ehrman

i like what solarxmoon said. :)

This is an interesting story. Have things changed since then?<br />
<br />
Faith/belief in God is not the same thing as religion.

does it really matter if Christianity is real or made up? Isn't it the meaning behind it that's what's really real? All religions were created at some point, and I would say that the purpose of those creations was to convey some sort of meaning to people which is real, whether what's said in the religion itself literally happened or not.

No, man, I see what you say, and my bf would agree with you, but I disagree. What matters about a system of thought is that it reflects reality. Specially when factual claims are being made. When they say "Jesus is God" they mean one thing, not that "if you believe Jesus is God you will have a better life." And all seems to point to the fact that Jesus is not God:

‎"I had come to see that the very premise of Lewis’s argument was flawed. The argument based on Jesus as liar, lunatic, or Lord was predicated on the assumption that Jesus had called himself God. I had long ago come to believe that he had not. Only in the latest of our Gospels, John, a Gospel that shows considerably more theological sophistication than the others, does Jesus indicate that he is divine. I had come to realize that none of our earliest traditions indicate that Jesus said any such thing about himself. And surely if Jesus had really spent his days in Galilee and then Jerusalem calling himself God, all of our sources would be eager to report it. To put it differently, if Jesus claimed he was divine, it seemed very strange indeed that Matthew, Mark, and Luke all failed to say anything about it. Did they just forget to mention that part?

I had come to realize that Jesus’ divinity was part of John’s theology, not a part of Jesus’ own teaching." - 'Jesus, Interrupted', Bart Ehrman