I Lost My Sister to Cancer
Chapter From My Unpublished Book, A Sister's Story, Bevie And Me
By:
Babs88
Written on December 14th, 2010
The Pink Blouse
or
Two Flowers Trying to Escape The Walls
When Bev and I were kids we shared our tiny bedroom and even a tinier closet. It was a brown wood looking cardboard closet with two narrow sliding doors. Bev was in college and worked part time. She had such pretty clothes. I was just entering High School, had a part time job, and searching for my identity. I began to look into the mirror and see me, Babs not Bobbie. I wanted to become a Babs and be pretty.
Fern, my dearest friend and I decided to go to a dance but I had nothing pretty to wear. Bev had just left the house to go to a movie with Aaron. I dared to try on her new pink blouse. It was beautiful, satin, long sleeves, french cuffs with a double collar. It looked so luxurious with my long circular green velvet skirt that Bev had sewn for herself and had now given to me. Bev's future mother in law gave me her old sued platform high heel shoes stuttered with fake jewels - and with my solitaire pancake make up and green eye shadow and green mascara, I was ready to become a Babs.
Fern and I had a great time counting how many guys would ask us to dance. Two flowers trying to escape the walls. Secretly we bought our chesterfield cigarettes and began to puff imitating Anna Lucasta. Clumserly, I fidgeted with the match. Until I began to smoke I was too scared to even light a match. But now the new Babs had to learn that treacherous act of lighting a match! As I took a puff of my cigarette, a spark flickered on to the pink satin cuff.
What would I do - What could I do - A tiny whole in her new pink satin blouse. I would die, at least she'd kill me . I had no money to buy her another blouse or to run away. Where could I hide? If I was Christian I could join the Salvation army but I couldn't play the trumpet or sing - What does a Jewish girl do? If there would have been a Kibbutz, I would have escaped to Israel. No one wanted me –
We ran to Fern's house and asked her mom if she would hide me.
Mrs. Greenstein, from behind her round rimmed glasses, her blue
eyes wide, had an idea. "Turn the cuff inside out! We'll reverse it!" she suggested.
Painstakingly we cut each thread. Mrs. Greenstein reversed the cuff. We washed the blouse, ironed it, hurriedly ran to my house and put Bev's pink satin blouse back in our cardboard closet.
Bev wore that blouse for many years. She looked so lovely in it. Each time she put her hand into the sleeve I quietly left the room. A dagger went through my heart but I never showed her Bab's emotions. I must play the role of Bobbie and she won't ever, ever guess.
Last Passover Bev and I were reminiscing about all of our terrible years and about some of the good ones too. I asked her if she remembered her pink satin blouse. No, she didn't recall it - never even thought enough of the blouse to remember it - but I did!
We laughed so terribly hard - little did we realize it would be our last good laugh together -
or
Two Flowers Trying to Escape The Walls
When Bev and I were kids we shared our tiny bedroom and even a tinier closet. It was a brown wood looking cardboard closet with two narrow sliding doors. Bev was in college and worked part time. She had such pretty clothes. I was just entering High School, had a part time job, and searching for my identity. I began to look into the mirror and see me, Babs not Bobbie. I wanted to become a Babs and be pretty.
Fern, my dearest friend and I decided to go to a dance but I had nothing pretty to wear. Bev had just left the house to go to a movie with Aaron. I dared to try on her new pink blouse. It was beautiful, satin, long sleeves, french cuffs with a double collar. It looked so luxurious with my long circular green velvet skirt that Bev had sewn for herself and had now given to me. Bev's future mother in law gave me her old sued platform high heel shoes stuttered with fake jewels - and with my solitaire pancake make up and green eye shadow and green mascara, I was ready to become a Babs.
Fern and I had a great time counting how many guys would ask us to dance. Two flowers trying to escape the walls. Secretly we bought our chesterfield cigarettes and began to puff imitating Anna Lucasta. Clumserly, I fidgeted with the match. Until I began to smoke I was too scared to even light a match. But now the new Babs had to learn that treacherous act of lighting a match! As I took a puff of my cigarette, a spark flickered on to the pink satin cuff.
What would I do - What could I do - A tiny whole in her new pink satin blouse. I would die, at least she'd kill me . I had no money to buy her another blouse or to run away. Where could I hide? If I was Christian I could join the Salvation army but I couldn't play the trumpet or sing - What does a Jewish girl do? If there would have been a Kibbutz, I would have escaped to Israel. No one wanted me –
We ran to Fern's house and asked her mom if she would hide me.
Mrs. Greenstein, from behind her round rimmed glasses, her blue
eyes wide, had an idea. "Turn the cuff inside out! We'll reverse it!" she suggested.
Painstakingly we cut each thread. Mrs. Greenstein reversed the cuff. We washed the blouse, ironed it, hurriedly ran to my house and put Bev's pink satin blouse back in our cardboard closet.
Bev wore that blouse for many years. She looked so lovely in it. Each time she put her hand into the sleeve I quietly left the room. A dagger went through my heart but I never showed her Bab's emotions. I must play the role of Bobbie and she won't ever, ever guess.
Last Passover Bev and I were reminiscing about all of our terrible years and about some of the good ones too. I asked her if she remembered her pink satin blouse. No, she didn't recall it - never even thought enough of the blouse to remember it - but I did!
We laughed so terribly hard - little did we realize it would be our last good laugh together -
By:
Babs88
Age:
22-25
