I Miss My Sister
I will never forget the day....The day I was told that Gail had cancer. It was in March of 2000. I cried and cried. I couldn't believe it! Not MY sister! WHYYYYYYY????? Then, I thought....well, she can beat it. She's still young....only 47, plus, she didn't LOOK sick. Little did we know, this monster had been growing in her for a while. It had already spread from her colon to her liver. It was a death sentence. Unfortunately, we didn't get much time with her, and for my birthday present, on June 18, 2000, she was rushed to the hospital, and was pretty much drugged up until the day she died, twelve days later. Even though I have a husband, I never felt so alone. He never once tried to console me. He never gave me a hug or tried to talk to me, or anything. So, I just spent my time on my computer, and he just spent his time watching TV. I would go to bed, and he would still be watching TV. I would wake up in the morning, and he would have fallen asleep on the couch. That's where he'd stay all night. Then, when it came time for the funeral, I finally had to ask him to stay by me, instead of going outside to smoke cigarettes, because everyone kept asking me why he wasn't there to support me or to help me. I was getting sick and tired of making up excuses, and I was so upset, already, I was nearing the breaking point. Nobody needed to see that! He even had the gall to ask me why he couldn't go out and smoke any more! I had to explain to him that we had already been there for two hours, and he hadn't even spent ten minutes with me. Would you believe he had the audacity to say to me, "SO WHAT!" I was never so hurt in all my life!!! That's what my entire life has been like, since then. Unfortunately, we're still married, as I am basically trapped here. I have no income, nowhere to go, and I need to have a roof over my and my daughter's heads. It sucks! But, back to my sister....We were very close when all of this happened. I still think of her all of the time. But, to make things better, I think of the good times we used to have, when I was really young. She was ten years older than me, and used to babysit for me. She always took good care of me. If I didn't have the good memories to hold onto, I don't know what I'd do. Believe me, though, it sure keeps me going!