If You Were Brought Together You Will Be Brought Back
(also shared in "i believe in soulmates")
a t the young age of about 18 i have met my soulmate.
he was 2 years older than me.
our connection was like none other. i fell in love with him intensely and him with me.
i don't know how to describe our connection.
i had been with men before him. i knew what infatuation was and i knew this was different.
our first kiss was electric.
like a lot of soulmate relationships though there was a parting. it was painful. not only painful because i missed him but because i could feel his pain. i didn't realize it was his but i know now.
he was the runner i was the solid one.
why did he run? we got into a bad fight. i broke trust.
as though it was... meant to be. i was young and naive, immature, and just stupid to be honest.
but it was forgivable. but he did not want to forgive. he was hard and denied his love.
was it completely my fault? no. it was meant to be. even though i was younger and we are both old souls he had a lot of growth he needed to go through and within a few months he decided he was going to make a change in himself.
it was not for me. at least he didn't think that. but it was again destiny. in the end it was for me.
i knew though that for some reason inside me i could not give up for him and move on because he was like nobody else. that connection can not be broke.
after some painful months apart which felt like years, he got over his anger and came back to me as a stronger person.
what i had done was able to be forgiven but he was not meant to forgive quickly. he was to stay angry so that he would stay away to strengthen himself.
we married a few years later and last year i lost him, but i do not let myself be saddened. i know that he is still with me every single day.
our parting helped me as well. before we parted i was interested in spirituality but i did not believe. i was a non-believer in anything i said was not "realistic" (whatever that does mean) who was proud and seemed to think i was smarter and wiser than i was. but. with this loss i started looking into things.
i noticed the strength of my intuition like i never had before. i was always a reader but i didn't know. i tuned into my abilities with intuition and psychic abilities. i went through a partial spiritual awakening. i went to tarot, astrology, and psychics to look for answers. sometimes right sometimes not but i knew when they weren't right.
so is this a common thing? yes. soul mates often part.
there is a thing that we call 'the dance' which is that period after the intense period where you believe you are meant for each other but one partner uses a small maybe insignificant or forgivable flaw or mistake by the other person to run away and the solid partner knows they must not just give up. the solid partner comes to a point where they are just hurting so badly and don't know what to do.
the 'runner' has to deal with losing a very important person in their life even if for whatever reason they are not seeing the importance, this forces them into introspection to get past the fears that have trapped them (maybe its commitment maybe its a trust issue every situation is different). from what i have seen there is often a point where this is necessary for the 'solid' partner too! as loving someone very deeply and not being able to be with them because they keep running while staying in touch and trying be 'available' to their love (out of concern for them or just plain WAITING for them) hurts so much, we come to a point where we can't deal with those emotions anymore
a lot of times like in my case soul mate parting will trigger spiritual awakening sometimes even a full awakening with visions and psychic awareness/abilities. because of this we have to explore this and take our own internal journey of spiritual discovery. Seeking the answer 'why' will initiate this so that we can start to understand how our hearts know without any doubt that this person is for us even though they have left and we are left confused and hurting (i.e. head vs. heart)
while on this journey we start to ask lots of questions about our direction and purpose and we start uncover things that we would have never realized if this situation didn't happen to us. i believe that the 'real' journey of life is the journey of developing our spirit to find how the path ahead of us lies on a more spiritual basis since our lives have been changed forever. when we're taking this path we will often find that old ideas, pa and ways of living don't interest us anymore like they did and many will look to psychics, religion and spiritualism for answers to their questions
add all this confusion and changes to the pain of loss and that's why losing a soul mate is the most traumatic experience imaginable. Hate, confusion and just shock and disbelief are common responses to a separation like this. in order to help the karma along towards reconnecting, however, we start to find that unconditional love and understanding toward our soul partner is the only way. i know that this is often just so difficult in the first stages of separation because the pain is so overwhelming that sometimes we fail to see how we could even forgive someone for putting us through this. but while we continue along our path to awareness then eventually we do find a place where the love for the partner is the only thing that matters and eventually we offer them some healing and definitely forgiveness.
the quicker the two partners are able to reach a higher spiritual awareness and live out the karma, the quicker they can then reconnect. the link between the soul mates is an actual, real energy link. it it just like having a twin where this person feels part of us and part of our soul and they really are.
now you might be asking how you can make sense of this and your situation....... you should know that sense is an intellectual function in the brain, and it evaluates what is happening against 'real' experiences and tries to find out what is going on. words like obsession and phrases like 'am i insane?' sometimes flash in our heads in an attempt to compare this experience to others and find an understanding that will give us peace of mind. the reason for this is that meeting a soul mate is a SOUL EXPERIENCE. It's an experience that is just so completely unique you just can't make sense of it by trying to compare it to other more "realistic" (practical) and every day things. the universe decided that two people have to be together for a period of time and they are connected at a deep soul level. so in fighting it you are trying to fight the forces of destiny. make no mistake, when soul mates come together, there is a relationship beyond ANYTHING you will have experienced before. if you fight it or try to stay apart, the pain, anguish and confusion will show you just how special this bond really is.
i wish you luck. peace to you all.