Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

If You Were Brought Together You Will Be Brought Back

(also shared in "i believe in soulmates")

a t the young age of about 18 i have met my soulmate.

he was 2 years older than me.

our connection was like none other. i fell in love with him intensely and him with me.

i don't know how to describe our connection.

i had been with men before him. i knew what infatuation was and i knew this was different.

our first kiss was electric.

like a lot of soulmate relationships though there was a parting. it was painful. not only painful because i missed him but because i could feel his pain. i didn't realize it was his but i know now.

he was the runner i was the solid one.

why did he run? we got into a bad fight. i broke trust.

as though it was... meant to be. i was young and naive, immature, and just stupid to be honest.

but it was forgivable. but he did not want to forgive. he was hard and denied his love.

was it completely my fault? no. it was meant to be. even though i was younger and we are both old souls he had a lot of growth he needed to go through and within a few months he decided he was going to make a change in himself.

it was not for me. at least he didn't think that. but it was again destiny. in the end it was for me.

i knew though that for some reason inside me i could not give up for him and move on because he was like nobody else. that connection can not be broke.

after some painful months apart which felt like years, he got over his anger and came back to me as a stronger person.

what i had done was able to be forgiven but he was not meant to forgive quickly. he was to stay angry so that he would stay away to strengthen himself.

we married a few years later and last year i lost him, but i do not let myself be saddened. i know that he is still with me every single day.


our parting helped me as well. before we parted i was interested in spirituality but i did not believe. i was a non-believer in anything i said was not "realistic" (whatever that does mean) who was proud and seemed to think i was smarter and wiser than i was. but. with this loss i started looking into things.

i noticed the strength of my intuition like i never had before. i was always a reader but i didn't know. i tuned into my abilities with intuition and psychic abilities. i went through a partial spiritual awakening. i went to tarot, astrology, and psychics to look for answers. sometimes right sometimes not but i knew when they weren't right.


so is this a common thing? yes. soul mates often part.

there is a thing that we call 'the dance' which is that period after the intense period where you believe you are meant for each other but one partner uses a small maybe insignificant or forgivable flaw or mistake by the other person to run away and the solid partner knows they must not just give up. the solid partner comes to a point where they are just hurting so badly and don't know what to do.

the 'runner' has to deal with losing a very important person in their life even if for whatever reason they are not seeing the importance, this forces them into introspection to get past the fears that have trapped them (maybe its commitment maybe its a trust issue every situation is different). from what i have seen there is often a point where this is necessary for the 'solid' partner too! as loving someone very deeply and not being able to be with them because they keep running while staying in touch and trying be 'available' to their love (out of concern for them or just plain WAITING for them) hurts so much, we come to a point where we can't deal with those emotions anymore

a lot of times like in my case soul mate parting will trigger spiritual awakening sometimes even a full awakening with visions and psychic awareness/abilities. because of this we have to explore this and take our own internal journey of spiritual discovery. Seeking the answer 'why' will initiate this so that we can start to understand how our hearts know without any doubt that this person is for us even though they have left and we are left confused and hurting (i.e. head vs. heart)

while on this journey we start to ask lots of questions about our direction and purpose and we start uncover things that we would have never realized if this situation didn't happen to us. i believe that the 'real' journey of life is the journey of developing our spirit to find how the path ahead of us lies on a more spiritual basis since our lives have been changed forever. when we're taking this path we will often find that old ideas, pa and ways of living don't interest us anymore like they did and many will look to psychics, religion and spiritualism for answers to their questions

add all this confusion and changes to the pain of loss and that's why losing a soul mate is the most traumatic experience imaginable. Hate, confusion and just shock and disbelief are common responses to a separation like this. in order to help the karma along towards reconnecting, however, we start to find that unconditional love and understanding toward our soul partner is the only way. i know that this is often just so difficult in the first stages of separation because the pain is so overwhelming that sometimes we fail to see how we could even forgive someone for putting us through this. but while we continue along our path to awareness then eventually we do find a place where the love for the partner is the only thing that matters and eventually we offer them some healing and definitely forgiveness.

the quicker the two partners are able to reach a higher spiritual awareness and live out the karma, the quicker they can then reconnect. the link between the soul mates is an actual, real energy link. it it just like having a twin where this person feels part of us and part of our soul and they really are.

now you might be asking how you can make sense of this and your situation....... you should know that sense is an intellectual function in the brain, and it evaluates what is happening against 'real' experiences and tries to find out what is going on. words like obsession and phrases like 'am i insane?' sometimes flash in our heads in an attempt to compare this experience to others and find an understanding that will give us peace of mind. the reason for this is that meeting a soul mate is a SOUL EXPERIENCE. It's an experience that is just so completely unique you just can't make sense of it by trying to compare it to other more "realistic" (practical) and every day things. the universe decided that two people have to be together for a period of time and they are connected at a deep soul level. so in fighting it you are trying to fight the forces of destiny. make no mistake, when soul mates come together, there is a relationship beyond ANYTHING you will have experienced before. if you fight it or try to stay apart, the pain, anguish and confusion will show you just how special this bond really is.



i wish you luck. peace to you all.

spiritualguide spiritualguide 61-65, F 22 Responses Aug 31, 2009

Your Response


I met my souls mate about three years ago. I was in an emotional state and found them when I truly opened my soul to them. I completely poured my heart and soul out to them and they got me 100%. I stupidly crossed the line with them. I knew red flags were going off in my head about this as certain things were not there in that way, there was no connection in that romantic way I believe. No attraction either. But stupidly me being a lad broke that stupid bond and messed it up and changed the wholeness into a ****** up nightmare. I continued to live in a situation that ruined me and my souls mate for years long. I became selfish and self destructive. And I truly messed up my life because I ran from a situation and life that in my head became unbearable. I continued to do so and mess up so much than I should of. Things that were even unforgivable. I broke her trust, betrayal and vile towards her.

I can't help but think of her and still very mixed with what situation was created and the person "bond" in my head with someone. It always feels like my head is telling me to go back to them and that time and place but so many things are messed up and I have no way of doing it. I miss them when away then if I'm in there presence I want to run and not be there...

**** sucks. But my feelings and thoughts are messed up. Letting go of a soulmate is impossible. Being destroyed and wrecked by a sound mate is unbearable. But I guess we must endure the pain in order to have a full awareness of ourselves and heal. Hopefully when the time is right we'll find our way back to each other.....

Maybe when we are more mature, She'll be less chaotic for my mind and I'll be less poisonous to her heart. Maybe we'll be able to talk about our lives and how we went through terrible times. Maybe we'll never part but we need to find a time when our own souls will realign with ourselves, Then we'll realign with each other. That is a belief and hope. :) x

Hi I'm feel relief after reading your post. I'm having a spiritual awakening that started with this guy i met. I was full of fear and him on his side was not clear and in the end we didn't date each other. I have the feeling it's over forever at least in this life. Is it possible he was only meant to awaken my spiritual awareness and concience or you think he felt this connection too and eventually we are supposed to be together? Please i'd really appreciatte if you can give me some insight as i think now there's nothing i can do than let go as he's not showing any interest at all.

thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you . This is happening with me and my soulmate, what you described, inside and out. this is wonderful and I appreciate its, so much.

I met my soulmate whilst still married and as you rightly describe above, it was an instant connection that introduced us in a journey in a world of our own. It happened that I struggled to break up with my wife and in the meantime my soulmate started getting feelings for another man due to my lack of availability and attention.

I panicked, and found the courage to break up my marriage to start a proper relationship with my soulmate. We spent 5 weeks officially together however this other guy kept roaming at the back of her mind.

Yesterday she broke up with me as she felt it not right to be with me whilst wandering on the other. Most probably she will date him and take things from there.

My fault cause I took too long to let her in my life, and in the 5 weeks we spent together, my mind and emotions were all over the place.

A friend of mine told me....If you think she is worth it, NEVER give up.

He told me to text her every few days, stay close to her even as a friend, even though it will be hard. She will see this and she will appreciate it. A text just to see how she is doing over all...and even if she says things that could hurt, just stay close in the background.

This my plan, and I am hoping I will be able to win her back. She was the best thing that ever happened in my life and the thought of her with someone else kills me. However I will try to be strong in the name of Soulmates.

Send me good thoughts and vibes! :)

usually how long does the dance phase last?
before they be brought back again

That is the question my friend...I really would like to know myself. It hurts beautifully doesn't it? Just have to stay strong and let fate do its thing.

Are you saying that once the two have reached a higher awareness, they can come together again?

I have always dated guys that were just not right for me. I'm 23, & this one guy (for confidentiality sake, lets call him Bob) had been trying to get my attention for 3 years on Facebook. he would message me, like my photos, etc. one day I broke up with my current bf at the time & had decided I did not want to date. bob, however, sent me his monthly message asking if I would go out with him. looking for a distraction I said yes.
my dinner date with bob turned into a 6 hour date or bar hopping and dancing etc. we had a lot of fun. bob & I kept going on dates & after just 3 weeks went to napa where he asked me to be his gf. of course I said yes.
bob and I seemed perfect for eachother. we met eachothers parents. we planned vacations. we spent as much time together as we could. I adored bob, but as soon as his 30th birthday came around, he started acting distant. bob had a lot of stress with work and I could feel our relationship falling apart.
on top of that, bob found a website from 2 years ago that I did not know was was a modeling website that someone had taken photos of me (lingerie and bikini) and had created an alter-ego. bobs initial reaction was mad, but then he apologized and accepted that it was a thing of the past.
over the next 2 weeks, bob and I kept in contact, trying to create space, but not allowing it.
he told my friend however one day that the reason he couldn't be with me is because the website wasn't "wife material". I spent 1000$ to get it removed!!
we were at a Labor Day party when my friend told me and both slightly intoxicated. I tried to reason with him and when he wouldn't, I called him a p***y :/ in which he told me that I f****d up and that this was done forever.
I'm not sure whether to give him space to work on himself in hopes that we may rekindle, or to just move on :( he's 30, I'm 23, but he definitely has a lot of self-improvement he needs to work on.
he had told all of his friends I was the girl he was going to marry. I was his first gf in 4 years. he had tried with me for 3 years. he told me he loved me after only 3 weeks. the past 2 weeks (up until the party) he had said he still missed me and cared a ton about me.

This post is making me have hope. The past couple weeks my boyfriend who I'm sure is my soulmate has been really depressed. And he broke up with me last night because he wants to "set me free". He says he's always depressed, and he can't be in a relationship with me right now because he doesn't wanna stress me out. This is the 3rd time he's left, for similar reasons. He wants to be with me forever (and I feel the same) but he can't commit until he learns to be happy with himself. And I know it's for the best, but I don't know when he's coming back, or even if he is. He means the entire world to me, and I feel like half a person without him. Like the whole world is just going by when he's not here. Time is passing but it doesn't mean anything anymore. He knows this but he is taking it as, I can't function without him, and he thinks I need to learn to be happy without him. But I can't, because I feel so empty it's unbearable. Although this post is what's making me happy. Because I know now that I will be with him some day, some way. I just wish it would come sooner.

Thanks for this wonderful post. It gives me hope. I "ran" from my TF 17 years ago because I thought, (with no solid prof) that he had betrayed me. I miss him every day. I'll never know a love like that again. It was so intense that I really did question my sanity. I hope that we find each other someday. The day we met a physic, (who also happens to be the person who introduced us) told us that we would one day be husband and wife.

so you've never seen him since 1997?!
for god sake why didn't you face him?! before getting to the love phase which am sure is still on deep in his heart i don't believe he will ever forgive u cz of a hunch
Jesus girl !
grab the phone like at this instant ! and improvise !
gd luck

I wish it were so easy lol.

well If you need my help !
I'm all ears but ONLY if you are willing not to quit AND give up or despair !
and if my help is not enough for u i can get u someone who can help u !
so chill out !

Thanks and I would love to contact him, but I don't know where he is not do I have any way of finding out. Long story.

well lets just say he's right in front of u now ?!
do u know what to say ?! and how to say it ?!
if you're not willing to forget and forgive what u had back in the 90's then you won't be ready to meet him right now ! remember what u say in "our father"..." Forgive us as we forgive those who trespass against us" if u're not be able to forgive him or to forgive urself for what happened in the past don't expect you will ever enjoy spending time with him or even laying your head on your pillow at night while u too sharing the same bed !
If you are willing to forgive and start anew i do believe finding him would be the easiest thing to do now but the lord jesus wants you to be ready first

REMEMBER if you are meant to be together time is irrelevant !

I forgave him long ago. It's myself that I've had a hard time to forgive and I literally have no way to contact him. I have looked for him for years. I have prayed to find him.

I don't really know what I'd say to him. I just really want to tell him that I love him but I don't know if I'd have the courage.

exactly and don't expect to know what to say to him even after thousands of years if you don't forgive yourself
first you need to know that everything happens for a reason and by that i mean it happens to 2 things to glorify the lord through your sorrow and grief and the second is to deepen and strengthen your love ! cz you know life is full of struggles so you too will know the value of each other so you will overcome each struggle
you need to remember as well once you love someone truly u forget about the word get mad at him i don't know exactly the reason but am sure of it instead you keep blaming urself if what happened is deep
SO why don't you read Mark 9 (the possessed boy) and tell the lord:" this i do believe in you and i do believe you can get him back just help me strengthen my faith in you more so i can forgive myself for what happened in 97 and tell me how to surrender to your will so i may live in peace but if being with him brings you glory help me to find him back cz that's what MY HEART DESIRES."

It is easy !
how would the lord give you something you want if he didn't make you suffer for it ?!
it has to bring him glory so that you know that asking the lord for the guy is really and truly what your heart desires !

if you think it is worth it...never give up!

7 More Responses

That was a profound read, I too missed my chance at marriage with the girl I felt was my soul mate, I still feel strong emotions at times and never got over it, I still love her deeply, it just felt right. I have had no desire to love anyone else.

Who wrote the post? Later paragraphs sound a lot like a book I just finished.... Steve Gunn wrote it....ah I cannot think of the title

This has helped me so immensely in my current situation. After an abusive marriage, I met the most wonderful guy, in the beginning neither one of us were looking for anything more than to be friends. But something sparked, and the bond that formed was nothing that I have ever experienced before. I never loved anyone like this man, had never been afraid to lose someone before... Six months into our relationship he experienced some legal issues, and turned away from everyone... his family and me. He had been there for me through my mess early in the winter and I was prepared to do the same for him. About a month and a half ago, he ran... There was no clear explanation why, we've never had a disagreement, just a few weeks earlier he had again talked about buying land and building a home for us and the children (I have five from my marriage, he has two from previous relationships).
I told him that I'd continue to be there for him and have shown my support. We have had some encounters recently where the first we were a bit awkward but I could still feel the energy that surrounded us when we were together and I sensed he could too. The second he avoided me, but I could feel him watching me and the energy was present as well. He had just lost a loved one and shut out the world again.
I have never in my life felt complete, until he came into my life. He's everywhere. Subtle reminders in everyday life, the most random things... A toy at the drug store, driving down a benign road we had taken a million times. I can smell him in my dreams, and he his never been in my current home.
I hope his need to run comes to an end soon, I do feel immense pain when I am without him and it cuts deep. I have felt so empty since his decision, like he took my soul with him when he left...
Only time will tell.

I feel the same as you. It is hard sometimes to continue living feeling like a part of me is missing.

Thank you for your beautiful story. I have a lot to take from your experiences, as at the moment, I feel like I am the one who is going to run. I wish you love, light and laughter <3

I really have to thank you for this. This is the hope that is keeping me sane.
You see, I'm a thirteen year old who has already met their soul mate. Yes, it may seem unlikely, but it is true. I met him, lets call him guy 1, when I was ten and I was instantly drawn to him.

However, I have lost guy 1. See, I'm the solid one and he is the runner. I'm the one who tries to keep the relationship going when he just wants to walk away.

You see, last year I felt as if he hated me. So I attempted to move on to another guy, guy 2. I became really close to this guy and we became very good friends.

I have friends with similar abilities as you; they are very spiritual. They have recently told me that guy 1 is my soul mate, something I did not know when I trying to get over him. (I never actually did).
I have also found out that when I believed guy 1 'hated me', he actually was in love with me too. He was just in denial of his feelings, so he acted as if he hated me.

Now I have really messed things up. Because I found all of this out too late. My 'moving on' to guy 2 forced guy 1 to push his feelings away, and now he has trust issues with me. I have recently confessed my feelings to him, for he did not know before, and he wants nothing to do with it. My spiritual friends also say that guy 1 no longer has feelings for me, nor will he ever again.

I have mixed feelings about my situation. I feel as if there is no hope half the time, as if I will never find happiness again. And the other half I feel that our connection is too strong to die out, and that we will come together again someday. Guy 1 does not realize that we are soul mates, but I hope he will someday.

I truly believe this is not the last of our relationship. I hope we can reconcile our problems and come together like we have done before.

This post describes exactly how I am feeling right now, and gives me comfort that I am not the only one out there dealing with this. It is so hard seeing him everyday and pretending that I don't care when I see him with other girls. I have been considering the idea of letting him go, seeing as though he doesn't want me. But now I will not give up, as it is meant to be. Thank you again. :) <3

Just wanted to thank you for this post. It gave me a little peace of mind and stopped my crying for a while tonight.
When I met my ex back it January, it was like nothing I'd ever experienced before. And I Erik can't describe what it is that makes him so different than other men. I'd prayed to see my 'last one' and almost instantly he appears. I was cautious at first, worried it was just wishful thinking, but everything just fell into place and we were swept up in romance, no fighting it. Then suddennly he broke up with me out of nowhere. He was cuddling me one day then needing to work on himself and not having feelings for me anymore the next. He wants to stay friends and it hurts me, but no more than it hurts me to stay away from him.
We grew up fifteen miles apart in the same town, going to the same places and never met until that day. Now I can't escape him. I feel like I never lived or understood before him.
I pray that we will be reunited right away, or if he's not the one, my real soulmate will come SOON!

Thanks so much for this post. I have always had spiritual awareness and always knew he was my soulmate, but your post really helped me see things differently and brought a little "peace of mind" to my loss.

Oh my goodness! You would not believe this, but then again maybe you would. I have posted my story if you go to my profile. I asked myself many times was I insane? Then I asked myself which one of us was the runner? I don't even know what to begin to say.<br />
<br />
I met an Englishman several years back and we were the best of friends for thirteen years, we corresponded through letters and emails. I even visited his relatives in England. When we parted, it broke my spirit. A year passed.<br />
<br />
But then six months ago (after that year was up), something strange began to take place. How can an African-American woman interact with an Italian European man online on a pen pal site and for "something" to take place? How did I find him among a plethora of Italian male profiles on that site? Anyhow, you know how we Americans are, we expect to find out everything upfront immediately, so we can decide whether or not to invest in emotions, time, etc. He refused to just give up private and personal information right away. I did not like that, because I knew that a connection could develop over time, before I found out everything I need to know about him. But as fate would have it, as time wore on, I became fascinated and intrigued with this professional musician of the orchestral contrabass. Three months later, next thing I new, a photo that had been there all along on his profile, made something click within me. I never realized he was so beautiful, like the statue of David. I was caught off guard that day and fell in love. While it took me practially a year with the Englishman before I loved him, I new after I saw that picture of the Italian, in three months time only, I was in love and never visited him yet. I knew I was in trouble then! Also, do you not know that the Italian made all those sad feelings I felt about the Englishman disappear almost as if they never existed instantaneously?! It was like a curse had been removed, the dark cloud was gone.<br />
<br />
So, then I started to think maybe I was just transferring my wants and needs from one pen pal to another. But then quickly learned, this WAS NOT to be compared to anything like I have experienced before. When I thought about the Italian, I felt a shift in what I guess was an energy field around me and in me. A sense of vibrations as well or something. I never had that happen, in fact it almost frightened me. I thought maybe I was feeling lust. Well he was not the best looking man nor the worst looking man. Matter of factly, he had one profile photo that makes him look unattractive and downright scary! LOL But, I learned that it was probably not lust, he had all his clothing on in each picture, I just knew when I looked at him or thought of him, I felt like my soul was on FIRE!!! The feeling was insatiable. I started to think I was losing my mind.<br />
<br />
Anyhow, I betrayed his trust, by revealing something personal to one of his other profile buddies and he blocked me. But I sensed there was some hesitation there. This Italian gent previously told me he suffered from severe depression, but I think he was also bipolar. But I think what also hurt him, was I had expressed my fear, before his severing of ties. I was afraid and felt I needed to be the rational one. Because we were on different continents, had different cultures, from different races, had different religious beliefs (I'm Christian, he's non-religious) and we both suffered from depression, with his being severe. So, I told him I loved him and wanted to focus on friendship, as love is only a mere sentiment without a friendship. What would have been the likelihood of us meeting? Who would want an impasse? That was why I tried to rely on friendship. I believed I had to be realistic. <br />
<br />
The guy from England taught me before we had severed ties, to be reasonable and that a likelihood of long distance relationships soon die. That what I remembered and was why I toned everything down. <br />
<br />
This is by far the worst, my sleep patterns were off, it was hard to focus at work, I was somewhat irritable, thought about him and worried about him. Of course I profusely apologized about the betrayal of trust. He has not responded and knows what my email address is to contact me. I still felt maybe I was insane, maybe I am a stalker or harrasser. He reported me to the site for harrassment after six months because I told the others to beware of him. Reason being, I thought he was leading me on when back in November he said he did not want to love anyone and die alone and then he does a 360 and sends me chocolates as a Christmas gift in December. I thought he was leading me on and playing with my emotions or playing a joke on me. This made me believe he was bipolar. I am either crazy or he is or we are both really soulmates. All I know is the break made me feel like I was literally dying! I still, well...I just know that those feelings I experienced because of him goes beyond words and were experiences that blew me away! Indescribable. Am I crazy? Should I go back to visit my psychiatrist?

I am like you, in so many ways. I am the solid one, he is the runner. Things and people have tore us apart. and i dont know how i will continue ...i dont think i can ever move past his gaze. you are not alone

Man great post. I believe I met my soulmate way too early. I was the "runner"and he was the one who denied after he confessed his love- mostly because I ran a lot. It was something special between us. I think you are right on so many levels. Our meeting was so organic and "out of the blue"- an extension of a love that was so synchronized-so equal that I think it scared the hell out of both of us. We kept our attraction alive for ten years after-but nothing concrete ever happened between us. I think of him all the time- I was disappointed to learn he married the woman he was going with in high school- and we met in the middle of their relationship- had our little affair and he choose her over me- then he kept us both like best friends over a ten year period-dated a lot of other girls then at 35 married his high school standby. Who knows- I just feel like I was the only one in the relationship- but I was not a 100% ever. I always felt stuck in his part of the world- and I just did not want to settle down and live in the same place for the rest of my life. I am married now also and have been told by a psychic that my present husband and I have been together three times in other lives. She said that we have a lot of karma- and may or may not have to marry every time we are attracted together. I think we have soulmates, and we have lovers who we need to work things out with either here or there. It is hard to gage sometimes. I am glad you and your soulmate were brought back together and had the chance to spend time together. I do agree that when a soulmate leaves this plane it is a rip in the fabric of your heart. My father was like my twin- more like we were so alike- and there has not been anyone who was so loving as him- and my rip will not mend. It is amazing how this physical emotion runs so deep.

i am glad that i was able to help.

Thank you for writing this post. It almost perfectly mirrors my own experience. I don't have many friends who think as I do, so there are few opportunities for me to discuss this issue. It gives me a measure of peace to know others see things this way.

yes.<br />
it is sad when people always try to use practical things to define something that is beyond our total comprehension.<br />
of course i and others understand a LITTLE bit. ;-)<br />
the reasons why many things occur are in no way connected to what we say "reality" is often times.