Post

It Really Changed Me

I physically lost my virginity when I was 15, but mentally it was gone long before that.  I started to think about losing it when I was 13 or 14, when I realized that for some reason I, as a girl, was expected to be prim and proper and virginal and pure, but boys were allowed to be randy and promiscuous and certainly not virgins.  I remember having one of those great WTF-Moments at school one day, when I looked around the class and thought to myself, 'so, if I had been born a boy, like one of them, I could do just about anything I wanted with a girl, but since I'm a girl, I'm not supposed to want to enjoy myself. '  I really had that thought!  A boy who is active is a Romeo, a Casanova, a Lothario, (OK,  I didn't hear that one until I was older!), but a girl was a ... ****! 

I had discovered the joys of ************ when I was 13, and I was raised in an open enough family that I knew there was nothing wrong with pleasuring myself.    I couldn't get it, this disconnect, this idea that something that was soooo pleasurable was somehow also soooo bad.

My daddy, to his credit, never preached chastity or virginity to me.  He did preach self-reliance, self-respect, and the joys of education and freedom.  So while I came to understand early that there was no way I was going to make it to my marriage a virgin, neither was I going to get pregnant as a teen either!

So there I was, 15 years old, with this intact hymen that I really didn't understand the purpose of, ready to just get this the hell over with.  But somehow I also knew that there would be wine-filled nights with girl-friends when the very topic of virginity-loss would come up, (so to speak), and I wanted to at least have a decent time with it!

The answer to my problem was a 17 year old boy I will call Jimmy.  He was in my school and he was pretty as hell.  Normally I don't use the term pretty for boys, or if I do, it's disparaging, but Jimmy was, well, pretty! 

Jimmy had curly dark brown hair with blue eyes and a crooked, self-deprecating smile... he always smelled clean, with the hint of a perfumed soap on him, and his clothes were always pressed and he wore them well. 

Best of all, he liked me!  That was important... if I were to have sex with him I at least wanted to like him!  (I lost that inhibition a bit later, then, fortunately, found it again.)

We dated for several months and kissed and fondled each other,  but technically we were still virgins.

Then the day came when we were out of school at around 2:30 and his parents weren't due back till late.  This was the day I had planned for.

Several months before I had confided (without details!) my intention to my OB/GYN.  She prescribed birth control pills for me, at my request.  She gave me a talk about STDs and I took her seriously, although I knew Jimmy was clean of them, but her advice came in handy later on in my life.  I did tell my daddy I had pills, and said they were there to regulate my period.  It was a lie, my first grown-up lie to my daddy, my first lie as a woman to a man.  He accepted my explanation, although I am not to this day at all sure he believed me, but I am sure he was happy I was using birth control.  In any event, I was ready for Jimmy.

We went to his house, to his room, to his bed.  We took each others clothes off.  I got to see the reaction of a straight male to a woman's body... I must say, I was impressed!  I knew in theory all about the differences between men and women and I had seen pictures of naked men and erect penises... but not like this!  Wow!  I did that to him???!!!???  Just by being naked in front of him????  I felt the beautiful feeling of naked skin on naked skin, felt my vaginal juices flowing, felt his tongue on me... and felt a man's *********** within me... Again, wow!  (But did not have an ****** myself.)

I felt a pain in me when he first slid in, but not a bad one.  There were a few smears of blood when we looked, not much, and he carefully took a cold, wet towel to them at my suggestion.  I wasn't sure that there would be much of an intact hymen down there, since I had ridden horses from the time I was a little girl, and I had heard that activity like that would break the membrane... so I was not very surprised that it wasn't a big thing.

He held me after wards, and I put my arm around him and he used his hand on me, a gentleman, and then, after I came, he brought his hand up to my mouth for me to kiss.  Every man I have ever had sex with from that day on, whenever he has put his hand between my legs, has brought his fingers up for me to smell and kiss and lick.  I guess this is a technique taught in every man's locker room in the whole country.

After a nice period of cuddling and deep, serious, adult conversation, (That was great!  Yeah, it was.  Totally fantastic, wow! Oh, hey, wow!) I got Jimmy hard again -- the glories of teenage boys! -- and this time I got on top of him and rode him and felt my first ****** from intercourse, felt that incredible moment of total loss of control.  Felt him come again inside of me just as I was finishing, and then I collapsed on him.

Now THAT felt like it was something!

When I went to my own home that night I took a shower and dressed in my usual Tee and jeans.  It was my daddy's turn to cook that night, but I went into the kitchen to help him. 

I felt different standing there, talking to him.  For the first time I was aware of my daddy, my father, as an adult man.  I don't mean anything incestuous here at all!  I just suddenly was aware of his body, his scent, not just as my daddy's scent and body, but as a man's.  I was more aware of my own body and scent too, I was aware of my size compared to his, aware of my large, round breasts, aware of the scent of woman that I could now smell on myself.

Just a couple of years ago, in a totally different conversation, in a totally different setting, he mentioned to me that he noticed a growth in my maturity when I was 15, that I started to really carry myself more as a woman at that age, less as a girl.  So he noticed this change in me too, although he didn't say anything about that particular day.  But he too had noticed that I had changed.

I didn't tell him why.

 

SaratogaGirl SaratogaGirl 26-30, F 69 Responses Nov 19, 2008

Your Response

Cancel

Very interesting. I like to put my fingers inside you the. I like to put those fingers in my mouth.... You could put your fingers inside and put them in my mouth. I always enjoy going down on my partner and take you to the moon. I love squirt ears as well

You have a great way of telling your story, you should try to write a whole book one day, I am sure it would become a great success :-) Thanks for sharing your story

nice but too young

good one.

Lovely story, beautifully recalled. Thank you.

Well, a female should bleed at least a little when her vaginal cherry's popped, otherwise it's not obvious she was a virgin and crossed an important passage. Now she's a grown woman and she finally knows what penises do "in there".

You need to write a coming-of-age novel or something!

i loved your story! I have a friend that wants to be friends with benefits......i haven't lost my virginity and neither has he bit i don't know what to do. i want to lose it and become like you did, flourished and grown but i get so scared everytime he ask to meet up.... i don't know what to do.

Do your home work and get on birth control

Sounds like a good experience!

never had a virgin,had a few girls said they were but weren't,my wife said she was,then a year later at a party a guy who didn't know Iwas her husband said me and my friend banged that **** all wkend when she was14 I called bullshit,1/2hr later he hands me photos.I kept 2 for after the party

Well scripted!!! You are a talented writer. Please continue with your good work.

nice story

sorry, nice story ;)

good idea

Thank you so much for sharing your story! I'm almost 15 now, and on my birthday I want to have sex with my boyfriend. Sometime this week I'm going to get birth control pills but not tell my parents because they wouldn't let me even get them for my period. But I'm terribly scared of getting pregnant and I'm not sure if he would just use me. But this has also helped me make some serious desicions. Thankyouu!

Condoms?

wemen are so much more mature then men.

A very well written story I apprciate the details and yr emotions I am sure losing virginity changes many young women Too other factors seem to be leaving home and getting a job that suports you Often these seem to happen about the same time <br />
By then you are a woman You have grown up , matured, become independent Understand men better Have had practical experience with sex

I think you lost your virginity in a wonderfull way! I dot believe in God and any religion, just me in my own believes! I'm a hippy and loving the feeling of being free, I hope I lose my virginity in a beautiful way with a gentleman! I loved your story! ❤❤<br />
Ruby

oh wow, i love your story ... i havent done it yet but i so hope my first time is like yours ... lol maybe i should make any future bf's read ur story! haha no.

Beautifully written and a very hot story babe ! You are awesome and im sure you have shared and made many pleasant and wonderful memories since. You are a hot sexy lover ! growl xo peter

I lost my virginity not tolong ago i am 16 now lost it when i was 15, anyways great story :)

add me so I can know the story

you are wise beyond your years!<br />
I hope you write. you are very good at it.<br />
go for it. You will always have an audience.

Wow.....great story!!! Im a boy 14 years, I dont when to loose my virginity.... Do have any facts or advise on when is the best age to loose your virginity??

I was 13, and he was 15 at the time. He always told me he loved me, never bothered me for an intercourse, oral, anything like that. The farthest we had gone was kissing, not even touching. After 4 months or 5 months I tried to give him oral, but he always thought that kind of thing was gross. ..He was scared but somehow I got him to do it, and he began to like it. A couple months later in the swimming pool I wanted to have sex, but I was scared of the pain it would bring me. I asked him to try to put it in in the pool and he did.. on contact it hurt me badly, it felt like i had been poked with a knife nearly, we tried again.. same feeling... then we got out and went to his room and he gently laid me on the bed and we ********, i asked him to put it in and it hurt, i frequently asked him to stop then continue.. I bit his finger once, it felt like a knife was cutting my insides.. Yes i bled by the way. for 1-2 days but not alot. it began to stop hurting and was nice.. It seemed like my senses were awake, i took notice of everything around me.. a few days later we did it again but twice in the same day. it was uncomfortable in the beginning but stopped hurting a few minutes into it. yes a condom has and still is being worn. We stopped having sex until 2 months later we did it again before his birthday.. but the condom broke.. it scared me, and i missed a period! so i took a test..negative.. i began to get symptoms from what i read online.. then they went away and it came out negative again and my period began to come back regularly again. no i did not have a miscarriage. He was never an *******, and we are still together to this day. older, more mature. We understand life more.

Saratogo Girl, thanks for your story. One thing I took away from it was how you loved how your father didn't preach virginity to you but DID preach the other positive things. I will be re-reading your story and all the comments over again. Thanks again. <br />
Did you ever lust after your father at all? There are many stories here on EP about young girls who want to have sex with their dads, for one reason of another, and lots and lots and lots of stories of dads who REALLY WANT TO HAVE SEX with their daughters, and many who actally do. It's fascinating. <br />
But there are very few stories of mothers who want to have sex with their sons, and or sons who want to **** their mothers like the fathers want to **** their daughters. Why is that?

hmm, I suppose virginity means diffrent things to diffrent people. Some may think its nothing but a "flap of skin" where as others such as myself try to save it. I dont see my virginity as a gift to myself but as a gift to who ever I give it to. Anyways, atleast your first time was enjoyable. I hope that when the time comes that I enjoy it as much as you did ^_^

Nice story... Would love our comments on my confession? <br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.experienceproject.com/confessions.php?cid=428289" target="ep_blank">EP Link</a><br />
<br />
Plase take a moment to read it.. I hope you like it. !

He did it becos as men we are so amazed by the taste and smell of ur ***** that we want you to know how delicious you are ! Add me plz..

Very good story.! at least you get somewhere alone!

could you post this story in lostmyv.com? it's beautiful!

You wanted to loose your virginity and you almost arrange for it , therefore I think you did have positive experience out of it . You took practical approach not romantic , although your can't plan everything in life perfectly. I think you did right thing for you , quiet often there is a lot of drama with girls of your age.