It Really Changed Me

I physically lost my virginity when I was 15, but mentally it was gone long before that.  I started to think about losing it when I was 13 or 14, when I realized that for some reason I, as a girl, was expected to be prim and proper and virginal and pure, but boys were allowed to be randy and promiscuous and certainly not virgins.  I remember having one of those great WTF-Moments at school one day, when I looked around the class and thought to myself, 'so, if I had been born a boy, like one of them, I could do just about anything I wanted with a girl, but since I'm a girl, I'm not supposed to want to enjoy myself. '  I really had that thought!  A boy who is active is a Romeo, a Casanova, a Lothario, (OK,  I didn't hear that one until I was older!), but a girl was a ... ****! 

I had discovered the joys of ************ when I was 13, and I was raised in an open enough family that I knew there was nothing wrong with pleasuring myself.    I couldn't get it, this disconnect, this idea that something that was soooo pleasurable was somehow also soooo bad.

My daddy, to his credit, never preached chastity or virginity to me.  He did preach self-reliance, self-respect, and the joys of education and freedom.  So while I came to understand early that there was no way I was going to make it to my marriage a virgin, neither was I going to get pregnant as a teen either!

So there I was, 15 years old, with this intact hymen that I really didn't understand the purpose of, ready to just get this the hell over with.  But somehow I also knew that there would be wine-filled nights with girl-friends when the very topic of virginity-loss would come up, (so to speak), and I wanted to at least have a decent time with it!

The answer to my problem was a 17 year old boy I will call Jimmy.  He was in my school and he was pretty as hell.  Normally I don't use the term pretty for boys, or if I do, it's disparaging, but Jimmy was, well, pretty! 

Jimmy had curly dark brown hair with blue eyes and a crooked, self-deprecating smile... he always smelled clean, with the hint of a perfumed soap on him, and his clothes were always pressed and he wore them well. 

Best of all, he liked me!  That was important... if I were to have sex with him I at least wanted to like him!  (I lost that inhibition a bit later, then, fortunately, found it again.)

We dated for several months and kissed and fondled each other,  but technically we were still virgins.

Then the day came when we were out of school at around 2:30 and his parents weren't due back till late.  This was the day I had planned for.

Several months before I had confided (without details!) my intention to my OB/GYN.  She prescribed birth control pills for me, at my request.  She gave me a talk about STDs and I took her seriously, although I knew Jimmy was clean of them, but her advice came in handy later on in my life.  I did tell my daddy I had pills, and said they were there to regulate my period.  It was a lie, my first grown-up lie to my daddy, my first lie as a woman to a man.  He accepted my explanation, although I am not to this day at all sure he believed me, but I am sure he was happy I was using birth control.  In any event, I was ready for Jimmy.

We went to his house, to his room, to his bed.  We took each others clothes off.  I got to see the reaction of a straight male to a woman's body... I must say, I was impressed!  I knew in theory all about the differences between men and women and I had seen pictures of naked men and erect penises... but not like this!  Wow!  I did that to him???!!!???  Just by being naked in front of him????  I felt the beautiful feeling of naked skin on naked skin, felt my vaginal juices flowing, felt his tongue on me... and felt a man's *********** within me... Again, wow!  (But did not have an ****** myself.)

I felt a pain in me when he first slid in, but not a bad one.  There were a few smears of blood when we looked, not much, and he carefully took a cold, wet towel to them at my suggestion.  I wasn't sure that there would be much of an intact hymen down there, since I had ridden horses from the time I was a little girl, and I had heard that activity like that would break the membrane... so I was not very surprised that it wasn't a big thing.

He held me after wards, and I put my arm around him and he used his hand on me, a gentleman, and then, after I came, he brought his hand up to my mouth for me to kiss.  Every man I have ever had sex with from that day on, whenever he has put his hand between my legs, has brought his fingers up for me to smell and kiss and lick.  I guess this is a technique taught in every man's locker room in the whole country.

After a nice period of cuddling and deep, serious, adult conversation, (That was great!  Yeah, it was.  Totally fantastic, wow! Oh, hey, wow!) I got Jimmy hard again -- the glories of teenage boys! -- and this time I got on top of him and rode him and felt my first ****** from intercourse, felt that incredible moment of total loss of control.  Felt him come again inside of me just as I was finishing, and then I collapsed on him.

Now THAT felt like it was something!

When I went to my own home that night I took a shower and dressed in my usual Tee and jeans.  It was my daddy's turn to cook that night, but I went into the kitchen to help him. 

I felt different standing there, talking to him.  For the first time I was aware of my daddy, my father, as an adult man.  I don't mean anything incestuous here at all!  I just suddenly was aware of his body, his scent, not just as my daddy's scent and body, but as a man's.  I was more aware of my own body and scent too, I was aware of my size compared to his, aware of my large, round breasts, aware of the scent of woman that I could now smell on myself.

Just a couple of years ago, in a totally different conversation, in a totally different setting, he mentioned to me that he noticed a growth in my maturity when I was 15, that I started to really carry myself more as a woman at that age, less as a girl.  So he noticed this change in me too, although he didn't say anything about that particular day.  But he too had noticed that I had changed.

I didn't tell him why.


SaratogaGirl SaratogaGirl
26-30, F
64 Responses Nov 19, 2008

thats a cool coincidence that ur father said that

Really well written,amazing from your perspective too

Very lovely story, thank s for sharing it with us. You are a lovely and very sexual person.

I was 10 yrs old when Rog and I shared 2 girls,<br />
The next week I met one of them and just as I was about to put it in I got caught, In later life I have walked on on a couple having sex. I just ignored and walked on.

I'm glad you had a more understanding parent than my two

n i c e ;}

I made sure that there would be no pregnancy, so your argument doesn't hold.

I didn't think so then and to tell the truth I dont think so now.

I lost my virginity at 13 and i wish i never had i mean i really did love him but i wish i would of waited..

(no comment on the possible veracity of the above postings.)

I was 12 when the girl babysitting my young sister came into te bathroom when i was haveing a bath, I remember layng on my back and she said would you like me to wash your back, so rolled over in the bath, she washed my back and then washed down between my legs and i felt her touching me, and my penis went hard as it had been doing this a lot of late and she said roll on your back and she would wash my front. Well she did so and said to me did anything come out of my penis, I just said yes when i pee. She then got some cream out of the cabinet and went up and down on me and this created a hot feeling in me and next thing I know there was white stuff spurting out of me, she said wow that was impressive, i got dried and she took me to her room and she got me hard and had me put it inside her, that was repeated so many times I became sore, wow the feeling was nice but look back and think I had missed being with agirl I loved and was robbed, maybe it was girl rape on a boy. I was sad.

My girlfriend and I made a clumsy attempt standing up when I was about 15, we could not get it right and I expect that she was a virgin as I was, so she asked me to stop before real penetration. I did not have real intercourse with a girl until about a year later. Myself and a couple of other guys picked up a couple of girls and went out and parked. One girl was pretty and the other pretty plain. We were concentrating on the plain one as we thought she would be easier. After a few minutes, the pretty one grabbed my arm and "Hell, lets go" so we went out of the car and walked away from the others. and found a nice quiet spot. No fireworks here, I guess that she was real aroused and was real wet and I hardly felt anything as I entered her it seemed like I could not get any good feeling from it.

Great one!

OF COURSE I used Birthcontrol... I wanted love, not motherhood

A nice, sweet well-written story!<br />
<br />
It was a good thing that you used birth-control pills! A teenage girl certainly doesn't want to get pregant, and have the challenging, difficult, responsibilites of parenthood at a young age!

Elf lays like a damp wash cloth over the back of his couch.......panting...<br />

It's a stupid little piece of skin ... that is ALL. Idiots.... as if making love somehow defiles us.... DAMN it ****** me off....

It never fails to amaze me the kind of people that hide behind God......

They made me a little sick.... I HATE that "virginity is God's gift to a woman" bs. Just hate it.

Wow, those comments made me giggle

Oh please, Truth.... your comment is just idiotic. Please come back when you learn to spell.

Or better yet, don't come back until you learn to think, rather than just regurgitate repressive religious dogma.

I feel sorry for u.Becos u av just lostb the greatest treasure God has given to every girl...if u think keepin ur virginity is old skool,then u are wrong..go and pray 4 forgiveness.

i no how that is and i lost it when i was 12 and it was very simalir except at first it hurt a lot

I'm truly sorry you feel that way, Arch... but you don't actually KNOW that you will not find someone... perhaps very soon.

so what your saying is, having sex at a young age will make you mature??? Thats a GREEEAT lesson to teach young teens who read this!.....

Came VERY close to losing it at 14 - to a 16 yr old girl. But believe it or not was terrified of sex - and didn't actually lose it until 16. I was still too young.<br />
Glad your first was better than mine.<br />
(PS given my disappointment, I'm happy to say I gave another girl a fantastic first.)

A wonderful story and experince

Thank you for sharing your experience. I've only just lost my virginity to my boyfriend yet we had done mostly all the foreplay. like you i knew i was ready and felt a big change afterwards.

Saratoga girl, WOW, you had better be careful. Your use of critical thinking has resulted in much too rational an argument for those who blindly regurgitate the "culturally accepted" answer. <br />
Don't you realize how dangerous it was for you to succumb to the joy and fun sex can deliver. You may have been scarred for life. I hope you don't think it's is acceptable to have sex with other men too. That is bad (don't ask me why) especially for a lady! (again don't ask me why) Too much fun at an early age, especially if you dare not repent and be ashamed of it could prevent your reliance on wonderful life enhancing discoveries like prozac and xanax. Don't you realize that the brilliant politicians (ON BOTH SIDES of THE AISLE) who were influenced by religious zealots are self ordained to correct GOD's mistake. He or she should have known not to have those hormonal changes take place until you were mature enough to "understand" the pleasure you risked giving yourself and then later, received from Jimmy. Obviously yours was a family that slipped through the cracks and escaped the expertise of all the Capt. Cranium's in the various Child Protective Service Agencies government uses to remove brainwashed children like yourself from the immoral environment you obviously grew up in. <br />
YOU ARE DANGEROUS Saratoga Girl. Can we hang out sometime? LOL

Thanks for sharing your experience! Sounds like a great situation for losing you virginity!

Great experience, thanks for sharing! I like your writing style as well. Check out my story too. I also had been considering it for a year or so before deciding I wanted to just do it already, and I knew already the night it was going to happen. I, too, have tasted myself many times on many(ish) shared fingers - although not with my first fella.<br />
Greetings from a (recovering) Texan in Amsterdam!

it was very intested!!!

Great story. I'm glad it went so well.<br />
<br />
I must have missed that locker room lesson. I've never put my hands up to a girls face that way. I really wouldn't have thought to do it at such a young age. I've seen it in some **** movies. It doesn't really appeal to me. Every guy you've been with? Maybe I'm clueless.

You had a wonderful first experience. Mine left much to be desired, but I was 15 at well. Thanks for telling your story.