Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

It Really Changed Me

I physically lost my virginity when I was 15, but mentally it was gone long before that.  I started to think about losing it when I was 13 or 14, when I realized that for some reason I, as a girl, was expected to be prim and proper and virginal and pure, but boys were allowed to be randy and promiscuous and certainly not virgins.  I remember having one of those great WTF-Moments at school one day, when I looked around the class and thought to myself, 'so, if I had been born a boy, like one of them, I could do just about anything I wanted with a girl, but since I'm a girl, I'm not supposed to want to enjoy myself. '  I really had that thought!  A boy who is active is a Romeo, a Casanova, a Lothario, (OK,  I didn't hear that one until I was older!), but a girl was a ... ****! 

I had discovered the joys of ************ when I was 13, and I was raised in an open enough family that I knew there was nothing wrong with pleasuring myself.    I couldn't get it, this disconnect, this idea that something that was soooo pleasurable was somehow also soooo bad.

My daddy, to his credit, never preached chastity or virginity to me.  He did preach self-reliance, self-respect, and the joys of education and freedom.  So while I came to understand early that there was no way I was going to make it to my marriage a virgin, neither was I going to get pregnant as a teen either!

So there I was, 15 years old, with this intact hymen that I really didn't understand the purpose of, ready to just get this the hell over with.  But somehow I also knew that there would be wine-filled nights with girl-friends when the very topic of virginity-loss would come up, (so to speak), and I wanted to at least have a decent time with it!

The answer to my problem was a 17 year old boy I will call Jimmy.  He was in my school and he was pretty as hell.  Normally I don't use the term pretty for boys, or if I do, it's disparaging, but Jimmy was, well, pretty! 

Jimmy had curly dark brown hair with blue eyes and a crooked, self-deprecating smile... he always smelled clean, with the hint of a perfumed soap on him, and his clothes were always pressed and he wore them well. 

Best of all, he liked me!  That was important... if I were to have sex with him I at least wanted to like him!  (I lost that inhibition a bit later, then, fortunately, found it again.)

We dated for several months and kissed and fondled each other,  but technically we were still virgins.

Then the day came when we were out of school at around 2:30 and his parents weren't due back till late.  This was the day I had planned for.

Several months before I had confided (without details!) my intention to my OB/GYN.  She prescribed birth control pills for me, at my request.  She gave me a talk about STDs and I took her seriously, although I knew Jimmy was clean of them, but her advice came in handy later on in my life.  I did tell my daddy I had pills, and said they were there to regulate my period.  It was a lie, my first grown-up lie to my daddy, my first lie as a woman to a man.  He accepted my explanation, although I am not to this day at all sure he believed me, but I am sure he was happy I was using birth control.  In any event, I was ready for Jimmy.

We went to his house, to his room, to his bed.  We took each others clothes off.  I got to see the reaction of a straight male to a woman's body... I must say, I was impressed!  I knew in theory all about the differences between men and women and I had seen pictures of naked men and erect penises... but not like this!  Wow!  I did that to him???!!!???  Just by being naked in front of him????  I felt the beautiful feeling of naked skin on naked skin, felt my vaginal juices flowing, felt his tongue on me... and felt a man's *********** within me... Again, wow!  (But did not have an ****** myself.)

I felt a pain in me when he first slid in, but not a bad one.  There were a few smears of blood when we looked, not much, and he carefully took a cold, wet towel to them at my suggestion.  I wasn't sure that there would be much of an intact hymen down there, since I had ridden horses from the time I was a little girl, and I had heard that activity like that would break the membrane... so I was not very surprised that it wasn't a big thing.

He held me after wards, and I put my arm around him and he used his hand on me, a gentleman, and then, after I came, he brought his hand up to my mouth for me to kiss.  Every man I have ever had sex with from that day on, whenever he has put his hand between my legs, has brought his fingers up for me to smell and kiss and lick.  I guess this is a technique taught in every man's locker room in the whole country.

After a nice period of cuddling and deep, serious, adult conversation, (That was great!  Yeah, it was.  Totally fantastic, wow! Oh, hey, wow!) I got Jimmy hard again -- the glories of teenage boys! -- and this time I got on top of him and rode him and felt my first ****** from intercourse, felt that incredible moment of total loss of control.  Felt him come again inside of me just as I was finishing, and then I collapsed on him.

Now THAT felt like it was something!

When I went to my own home that night I took a shower and dressed in my usual Tee and jeans.  It was my daddy's turn to cook that night, but I went into the kitchen to help him. 

I felt different standing there, talking to him.  For the first time I was aware of my daddy, my father, as an adult man.  I don't mean anything incestuous here at all!  I just suddenly was aware of his body, his scent, not just as my daddy's scent and body, but as a man's.  I was more aware of my own body and scent too, I was aware of my size compared to his, aware of my large, round breasts, aware of the scent of woman that I could now smell on myself.

Just a couple of years ago, in a totally different conversation, in a totally different setting, he mentioned to me that he noticed a growth in my maturity when I was 15, that I started to really carry myself more as a woman at that age, less as a girl.  So he noticed this change in me too, although he didn't say anything about that particular day.  But he too had noticed that I had changed.

I didn't tell him why.

 

SaratogaGirl SaratogaGirl 26-30, F 71 Responses Nov 19, 2008

Your Response

Cancel

could you post this story in lostmyv.com? it's beautiful!

You wanted to loose your virginity and you almost arrange for it , therefore I think you did have positive experience out of it . You took practical approach not romantic , although your can't plan everything in life perfectly. I think you did right thing for you , quiet often there is a lot of drama with girls of your age.

If you plan your whole life so perfectly, you will always have beautiful stories to tell. If you can plan your children so perfectly, your children will have good stories as well.

very very beautiful story ...in away a true love story

I'm glad you had such a positive experience. Thanks for sharing! :)~ Molly

thats a cool coincidence that ur father said that

Really well written,amazing from your perspective too

Very lovely story, thank s for sharing it with us. You are a lovely and very sexual person.

I was 10 yrs old when Rog and I shared 2 girls,<br />
The next week I met one of them and just as I was about to put it in I got caught, In later life I have walked on on a couple having sex. I just ignored and walked on.

I'm glad you had a more understanding parent than my two

n i c e ;}

I made sure that there would be no pregnancy, so your argument doesn't hold.

I didn't think so then and to tell the truth I dont think so now.

I lost my virginity at 13 and i wish i never had i mean i really did love him but i wish i would of waited..

I know you posted this some time ago, but I want to compliment you not only on the story, but of your maturity in your approach to it all. You made me want to tell my little story about my first time. I think yours was better, but mine also will be laid out (no pun intended, but its still funny) in that type of detail in explaining my mental perception and progression of my sexual maturity. Thanks for a great story.

(no comment on the possible veracity of the above postings.)

I was 12 when the girl babysitting my young sister came into te bathroom when i was haveing a bath, I remember layng on my back and she said would you like me to wash your back, so rolled over in the bath, she washed my back and then washed down between my legs and i felt her touching me, and my penis went hard as it had been doing this a lot of late and she said roll on your back and she would wash my front. Well she did so and said to me did anything come out of my penis, I just said yes when i pee. She then got some cream out of the cabinet and went up and down on me and this created a hot feeling in me and next thing I know there was white stuff spurting out of me, she said wow that was impressive, i got dried and she took me to her room and she got me hard and had me put it inside her, that was repeated so many times I became sore, wow the feeling was nice but look back and think I had missed being with agirl I loved and was robbed, maybe it was girl rape on a boy. I was sad.

My girlfriend and I made a clumsy attempt standing up when I was about 15, we could not get it right and I expect that she was a virgin as I was, so she asked me to stop before real penetration. I did not have real intercourse with a girl until about a year later. Myself and a couple of other guys picked up a couple of girls and went out and parked. One girl was pretty and the other pretty plain. We were concentrating on the plain one as we thought she would be easier. After a few minutes, the pretty one grabbed my arm and "Hell, lets go" so we went out of the car and walked away from the others. and found a nice quiet spot. No fireworks here, I guess that she was real aroused and was real wet and I hardly felt anything as I entered her it seemed like I could not get any good feeling from it.

Great one!

OF COURSE I used Birthcontrol... I wanted love, not motherhood

A nice, sweet well-written story!<br />
<br />
It was a good thing that you used birth-control pills! A teenage girl certainly doesn't want to get pregant, and have the challenging, difficult, responsibilites of parenthood at a young age!

Elf lays like a damp wash cloth over the back of his couch.......panting...<br />
smiles

It's a stupid little piece of skin ... that is ALL. Idiots.... as if making love somehow defiles us.... DAMN it ****** me off....

It never fails to amaze me the kind of people that hide behind God......

They made me a little sick.... I HATE that "virginity is God's gift to a woman" bs. Just hate it.

Wow, those comments made me giggle

Oh please, Truth.... your comment is just idiotic. Please come back when you learn to spell.

Or better yet, don't come back until you learn to think, rather than just regurgitate repressive religious dogma.

I feel sorry for u.Becos u av just lostb the greatest treasure God has given to every girl...if u think keepin ur virginity is old skool,then u are wrong..go and pray 4 forgiveness.

i no how that is and i lost it when i was 12 and it was very simalir except at first it hurt a lot

I'm truly sorry you feel that way, Arch... but you don't actually KNOW that you will not find someone... perhaps very soon.