Cannot Speak..

I cannot speak about this yet.. It is very traumatic to go through a rape.. but, Much worse when it is how you lose your virginity..
It messes you up..

I'll talk about it when I get the strength..
Beautifulimperfections Beautifulimperfections
26-30, F
4 Responses Mar 7, 2012

Take ur time. Nobody has the power over u 2 make u spill ur story out if u like it even more than u should tlk 2, o uh I don't kno 0_o a uh very close person that u absolutely trust and wood b there 4 u no matter wut. Stay strong inside.

I guess I'll add mu 2 cents. I agree with most here, you need to tell someone, someone to talk to. Perhaps you have a trusted girl friend or your mom? Writing here on EP is a poor substitute, but it does seem to work for some.<br />
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Rape is a crime of violence and you need to know and understand it is not and was not your fault. You have NOTHING (if you do) to feel guilty about, no reason for self remorse. This was a horrible thing that was done TO you, not by you.<br />
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If you need to or want to talk to someone anonymously try these people. You can call or open a chat window, all anonymously. <br />
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I know this probably rings hollow, but I'm sorry this happened to you. Talking does help.

you need to find a person you can trust to talk about it<br />
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so you really understand youa re not the first ot have gone thought this now will boy be the last i am afraid till the system starts to kill these people they seem to get a slap on the hand is about all<br />
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guess i was lucky in a way as i saw one of them that raped me as a little boy shot and <br />
i know the leader of the church group that was responasdable for all the rapes to us kids and may other i know he was killed in the late 1970s and the reason i know this is i am a suspect but i was out of country when he was killed the little boy he had on the boat said 2 big black fish came out of the lake and stoped the man from hurting the boy and stopped the bleeding then took the little boy to an island and built a fire then stayed till other boats came after the boat the boy was on blew up when other saw the fire and head to the island the fish went back in the water and were gone<br />
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reason i a suspect i am a diver

I had a hard time writing a few of the stories I wrote on here :'(<br />
It was difficult and took me a while to be able to do it, but I felt I needed to do so, so I can let go completely and so that others that have gone though similar stuff know they are not alone. are ready you'll write it. I admire you for being a strong woman, being a good mother and wife :)