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While My Mother Was Watching And Did Nothing

I was 14 years old when it happened. I grew up in a bad neighborhood and always heard stories of all the horrible stuff people would do. I was scared all the time, but I never would of thought that I would be raped in my own house and my mother watched..

I walked into the house right after school, when I opened the door I saw the tall, muscular man in the living room. I paid no attention to him, because my mother always had men in and out of the house. She would use her body for drugs, so it was normal for me to see a half naked man laying on the couch. So I walked past him, and went take a shower. To my surpise, he wasnt there for my mother.. he was there for me. He walked into the bathroom, I heard someone but I just thought it was my mom so I paid no attention to it. He opened the shower curtain, when I saw him my heart dropped. I knew what was about to happen. I tried to run away, he grabbed me before I even got out the shower, pushed me against the wall. I was fighting as hard as I could, screaming out for my mother to help me. Then I heard her say just do it for me, stop fighting it will be over before you know it. I couldnt believe that she was actually standing there letting him do this to me.. I still try to fight him off, but that only made him more angry. I threw on the bathroom floor, I tried to crawl away, but she grabbed me by my feet and pulled me toward him.. He was so strong, he held me down and managed to get in me, I cried the whole time, begged my mom to help me. She just stood there and watched him do it and told me it will be over soon do this for me. I never stopped fighting, it was worthless but I still tried. I wouldnt give up.. I think he enjoyed that I kept fighting. That ******* sick *** man, got off on my ******* pain.. When it was over he handed my mom a little bag with crack rocks in it. She used my virginity as a way to get her fix.

I wasnt raised reglious or anything, but I wanted to lose my virginity to someone I loved.. Not a complete stranger. All I can remember is feeling so dirty afterwards, I would stay in the shower and scrub myself until my skin started to peel off..I felt worthless and disgusting.

I look back on it and I realize that it wasnt my fault, I couldnt stop him no matter what. He was to strong for me to get away from. I used to blame myself, but as the years past I started to realize nothing that I could have done would of prevented what happened.
deleted deleted 26-30 51 Responses May 6, 2012

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Ofc she was a crack head. ghetto dweller do anything to get there fix. she should be euthanized. you were lucky to survive

*edit* im still upset at this post. even though its over a year old.
hopefully she O.D's soon

Add a response...

wow! i feel so sorry for her if that really happened!!

Is your mom dead


kill her then

That is just sick thing to do a child. I hate to hear a mother can do that to their child. And that man- how could he do that to a child! Sometimes I wonder if there is a God, people are becoming more vile day by day.

Respect you for realising it wasn't your fault, most people wouldn't be able to do that. I hope you manage to put it behind you

I am so sorry for you, I wish you my best

soo understand u n ur plight if u want to talk n connect plz do thanks jim

You deserve a better mother. I am so sorry. i had not idea Addiction can make people go this far

You wonder how mean people can be. A mother to offer her daughter to a man. The effect that addiction has on people. It just seems to have no bounds. The scars that is left will seem to last for ever. Sometimes you wish you had an assault rifle....

Did he ever punch you in your belly? He sounds evil.

What happen to your mother?
And how long ago did it happen?
I hope your doing better!

wow I can't believe your mom sold you out for crack she's sick and I'm so sorry it happened to you

I'm so sorry about this....this is literally the worst story I came across, just know we care, right love? We care.

Never blame it on yourself.
Its your mother's fault.

Stay strong and i am glad you know it's not your fault with rape it never is and you are not alone read my story a year ago I got raped and just know you tryed

You are very strong too tell us ur story I'm glad u realized its not ur fault.keep ur faith.I'm glad ur ok

I'm so sorry it was never your fault.

its a good thing you got over it :)

No one can become mother by giving simple birth,,, the motherhood is a completely different set of mind. .... The story here is a complete picture of inhumanity and not even found in the Animal World

Its very heart breaking to hear this.You are very strong to have shared this instead of keeping silent,lots havent.You dont have to live with what happened because we don`t have control over what happens but we do have control over how we react,So choose how to react.Remember God loves you no matter what happened to you.I would suggest whispering a prayer to Him every time you feel the thoughts coming back.Take the first step in faith you dont have to see the whole staircase

It's a very good thing that you don't hold yourself responsible for this. What your mother did was something you couldn't control. Seek counseling and/or other ways of getting help and finding someone to talk to.

i hope she feels guilty and feels the need to hang herself everytime she thinks about it

No it's not your fault it's your mother's fault what kinda parent would do that is boyond me if i saw my child in danger i would protect them with my life.....i'm completely speechless what happened too you & if me saying it's your mother's fault offended you i apologise But its the truth i hope you are ok now hun & hopefully you can be happy again :)

off course it is not your fault at all.. you were innocent and dont hurt your self please

Aww, I'm lost for words.
Your strength has truly inspired me.

awww :(

im so sorry this happen to you but if that was my daugther be raped by some stranger and saw that i would have hurt the guy

Omg I'm so sorry, may God bless u and lead u to the right path in life, u seem to b strong minded and know how to
Properly relay ur experience. U should help other victims, I wish I could hv helped others, but I was scared, I still am.

dont blame yourself you put up a good fight anyone is to be blamed its ur mom she stood there and watched :(

I don't know what to say... Some people just don't deserve to be parents. N ur mother definitely didn't deserve to have u in her 'care'. I know the damage is done now. N perhaps u can now see that it wasn't ur fault. Know that no matter what have happened to u, in despite of ur feelings of self-hate or blame, nothing make u any less precious n worthy as a person, who have the full right to be happy, loved n protected.
I wish u much happiness n healing. U deserve that.

Did you keep on living with your mother? Did you have other family to live with? I would have been appalled, depressed and just plain angry if my Mum had done that to me!

I am so very sorry that happened to you sweetheart. It never should happen to any child and no it wasn't your fault. Some people just shouldn't be given the precious lives of children to oversee. All kids should know is perfect love . They should never go hungry or be cold. They all deserve a clean warm bed at night that is safe from the "boogey man". This world being so much less than perfect-that's NOT what is- only what should be.

Holy ****! What kind of a mother would let a complete stranger do that to her own daughter?!!! THAT'S ******* SICK! I'm so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so sorry )-': I'm crying on the inside.

**** ur mom I hope the **** rots in hell ppl like her shodnt b living

Blame your mOm

sorry to know that...I would welcome any message from you. . I am open to discuss anything you would like.

Am sorry for that, I never knew that parents do such kind of things, its only throw EP, am reading all these. My heart is going down after reading this all. Tc, have a nice time.

Oh honey :( Thats so wrong, nobody should be subjected to that. Too many of us out there who have been hurt for someone else's selfish gain

It scares me to see someone who is 26 describe crack as rocks. I am sorry for the sincere users of this site to have such suspiciously written stories on your site. This is a poorly done crime, as there will be an incredible amount of on site evidence left (hair, blood, ***** sample). If this had happened, the idiot that raped you is in deep trouble.

Whats your pt...If it happened it happened.. If its only a fantasy...SO...Whats it to you.

Believe me Cry much older people than that call crack rocks and I know from what I speak seeing on a daily basis during my nursing career the travesty caused by that devil dirt. There are so many who live from one hit to the next... and if you would like your government to trim back healthcare costs.... the population on public assistance is the place to start. I finally retired because approving inpatient hospital days for these crackheads was making just sick. I personally felt and still do that those receiving free healthcare need to be held accountable for adhering to their treatment plans. These people come to our nation's emergency departments whining about not feeling well, chest pains --- urine drug screen pos for cocaine and various other substances. They get big guns medical care that costs a small fortune- feel better and get discharged---with no requirement that they participate in drug rehab . counseling or anything else. 2-3 days later- if even that long -right back in the ER- same complaints- another ICU stay and more of our tax dollars down the toilet. I personally think a cop should be waiting to take these folks to a drug treatment facility or to jail. I am sorry just talking about that stuff here makes my blood hit 212F.

Im so mother did similar with me but with pills so i understand how bad it hurts to know the one person u think u could trust would do that..I wish every day that it would all stop that people like that wouldn't exists..I no u are a wonderful person just by reading this..u are strong no matter What someone does It's ur heart that really holds the power and as long as that is safe no one in the world can say ur weak and be honest..u gotta stand strong and live better and be better than what people want u to who u wana be and don't let go of that no matter What..

I am seriously boiling with rage reading that. The sad thing is this seems to be happening more often according to news. Or maybe the media is just starting to catch up. I thought motherhood was a sacred institution. I'm sure in most families it still is. But you can't assume every mother is a good person.

I am speechless. don't knw wat to say :( but i think u r a strong person. All the best for the future.

You girls need to learn to fight back, even if you kill some guy it was self defense. I'll be damned if I'm gonna be a victim of any man. I'll kill him first! I don't care what it is you girls pick up a frying pan or a chair or something heavy and bust that ****** upside the damn head with it. Make him Scared of YOU! and don't stop fighting him. He'll get scared and try to run.Lock the doors and go crazy on his ***!<br />
I'm telling you, would. And i let a man know real quick, if they think they are going to ever put their hands on me, i do carry a Bowie knife on me. and I will pull it,too. You can try but you will get hurt. I mean that. been there done that,and no man is gonna make me a victim.

How the hell could she fight back? They were two grown people who planned an attack on a child when she was at her most vulnerable. Do you take your bowie knife into the shower? Do you carry it around the person you should trust the most (your mother)? I can't believe you said this. I hope you're just a troll.

Your mother is a *****. I am sorry but how can a mother just watch her daughter being raped. Forget watch, but how could she do such a disgusting thing. If parents are such forget strangers.<br />
<br />
Hell i feel soo bad for you girl.<br />
I was molested by someone know when i was may be 6 or 8yrs old and i can understand how dirty u feel from within..<br />
<br />
It took me long to accept this fact and carry on with life.<br />
<br />
At least you wont repeat Ur mother's mistake<br />
<br />
Be strong girl and You are in my prayers........

Some people are so ******** bad I am sorry

I was raped by my aunt and uncle when i was 14. They sort of made me their sex slave. I sort of like the attention and was ashamed that I liked it so I have never told anyone about it until now. I felt it was as much my fault as theirs.

so sad

I'm glad to hear that you realized isn't your fault. Hope you are well! All the best xx

Your story made me so sad and so angry that I can't stop crying. I hope your mother rots in hell for all eternity for what she did. You're a strong young woman to survive that. I lost my virginity before I could even walk and don't really have any memory of it, thank God. After surviving what your mother made you go through, you'll probably be able to survive anything--not just because of the rape, horrible as that was, but because of the monstrous betrayal by your mother, the one person every woman or girl in the world should be able to depend on in ANY situation. God bless you!

Your story made me so sad and so angry that I can't stop crying. I hope your mother rots in hell for all eternity for what she did. You're a strong young woman to survive that. I lost my virginity before I could even walk and don't really have any memory of it, thank God. After surviving what your mother made you go through, you'll probably be able to survive anything--not just because of the rape, horrible as that was, but because of the monstrous betrayal by your mother, the one person every woman or girl in the world should be able to depend on in ANY situation. God bless you!

i completely feel your pain as i lost my virginity to rape to i wrote my story in this group and it really does help to say it out loud cause it does take years for you to finally realise its not your fault. sadly only three people know my story and i want so bad to tell alot of important people in my life like my bf but unforutantely it takes alot of courage and even tho this happen when i was 17 im 21 now and repeating it makes it seem lik im that helpless teenager again.i hate men that take our choice to choose from us and i hope this helped you like it helped me to just get it out i wish i cud save every girl from this happening but atleast our stories will more girls to speak out.again im sorry this happen i hope your coping better now

I'm sorry but your mom is such a B! I hope you cut all ties with her and no longer see her. What a piece of garbage (sorry again). Above all you're absolutely right. There's no way in hell you could of prevented it. You just happened to be there at the wrong time. It takes a really strong person to move on from it, I applaud you :)