Here We Go...June 31, 2011 I lost my virginity to a complete stranger, totally against my will. I was 16 then.
I was at a party with my neighbor. I started to feel a bit weak after I'd accepted a drink from the host. I didn't think much about it so I went about my buisness and got to talking to a cute guy. In no time we were up in some room making out and peeling our clothes off. It took me a few minutes to realize what was happening. I stopped him from going any farther. He didn't. What was left of my clothes was brutishly ripped off. Whatever I was drugged with made me completely useless in defendeing myself. He crossed my arms behind my back, pinned my legs down and forcefully entered me. There was no taking it slow, no gentle. The pain I endured that night, physically and psychologically, were greater than anything I'd ever experienced. He held my face and kept me from screaming; I was helpless and I hated it.
The worst part is that whatever I was drugged with wasn't enough to make me forge, and I wish more then anything to forget. I remember every detail, I have nightmares recalling it. I remember his face but I know nothing about him.
I still hold on to feelings of deep hatred for him. I wish only pain and suffering to him. I want him to go through what I went through. I want him to hurt like I did. I want him to suffer like I am.
I am changed now. I've only ever told one other person about my rape. That was a month ago. It hasnt even been a year since the incident.
Chromeshark 16-17, F 4 Responses 0 Jul 10, 2012