I Dont Know What Story To Use..For years ive been lying about who took my virginity.. i say it was my first bf.. and its true.
He was the first guy i had consensual sex with.
But, i don't see it that way..
When i was younger i was sexually& physically abused by my biological father. (my older brother was too, he wont come forward about it though and now has very severe bi polar disorder)
and since there was full penetration.. i will forever believe my father...ugh.. ***** donor.. took it.
They told me that there was a chance he didnt break my hymen..i know thats not the case though
Every time i start a new relationship with a guy..i have to tell him about it..because i have really bad ptsd.
but its hard.. how are you supposed to explain to a man..that you are most likely going to have sex with.. that your father had sex with you before you even turned 5..
i dont have relationships now because i cant meet a guy that can truly get past that..
and understand that i cant control what has happened to me and the mental/emotional trauma i have now..
I am a strong person.. i am. Im independent and i dont seek pitty from others. Im there for anyone.. and put friends/family before myself.
But inside..i'm miserable. I want to have a normal relationship so badly.
instead of living a single life full of random sexual partners.
well..anyway ill end it there..
i was just wondering what others thought i should do..
just not tell them about my father and lie..or tell them and keep looking until i find someone that can deal with it..
Ljaine 18-21, F 6 Responses 0 Sep 19, 2012