Silent All These Years
I was11 years old when I was raped by my brothers friend. He was 17 years old and everyone loved him, including my parents. I won't ever forget the first time it happened I had came home from school and my oldest brother and his friend was there my brother had to go to work and he asked his friend if he could stay with me until my mom got home. I felt safe because he has always been around our house spending the night, eating dinner with us etc. I remember walking to the kitchen from my room to get something to drink, and when I closed the refrigerator door he was behind it, and I told him he scared me and he started feeling on my chest, telling me how one day they would grow bigger than what they are, I felt a little wired but not scared. I moved his hand and started walking to our sunroom to watch cartoons, and he started walking behind me, then he stopped and locked the front door to my house and came and sat beside me, I didn't feel scared just thought he wanted to watch tv also. Then he started feeling on my chest again and I told him to stop,then he didn't so I started feeling scared and told him if he didn't stop I was gonna tell, he told me there is no one here but you and me and if you tell anyone I'm going to hurt you real bad, he told me to lay down on the floor and don't move, I wouldn't do it so he twisted my arm and I started crying and layed down. He began talking off all my clothes and kissing all over my body and then he started trying to put his penis inside of me and I remember screaming crying and calling for my mom, he held my arms to the floor and kept going, I remember feeling so much pain and when he finished he told me that I am going to make someone a good wife and he was going to help me not cry anymore, he took me to the bathroom and told me to get in the bathtub and he washed me and I remember seeing blood in my water and he gave me two pills and made me swallow them and told me that it wont hurt anymore and put me in my bed then told me he loved me. I was forced to have sex with him until I was 19 years old and I didn't tell anyone until I was 29, I feel like talking about it doesn't help and that it only brings back bad memories... He will be celebrating Christmas with my family this year, I haven't seen him since I was 20 and I am 29, and I am still scared of him. I have nightmares about it, and very scared when I am home alone, I sometimes smell him and feel like he is around but he doesn't live in this state anymore..... I am scared that he may try something again.