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I Need Help

My girlfriend was just raped tonight. She was at home when her parents invited an unknowingly ex-boyfriend to their house. He offered to take her to his house, and their parents agreed. She told them no she didn't want to go, but they insisted that she did. She told me through text message. I tried keeping her calm, I told her to not drink or eat anything she offered her. I told her to check in with me in about 15-20 minutes. I kept track..after she went over her time I was starting to feel terrified..my gut was telling me right. Her rapist sent me two texts from her phone. I was disgusted, scared, and useless. She was dropped off at her house, and the cops are after this scum. I hope he gets what he deserves. But please I need your help walking me through how to comfort her..I live over 6 hours away with no means of stable transportation and my only means of communication are Cellular pre-paid phone (61.2 minutes left), Webcam, and facebook. I really need someones help right now..
Itzdraco Itzdraco 16-17, M 10 Responses Jan 15, 2013

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It was a lie..she basically told me that so I'd pity her..she took it from her mother's experience. Short story, she felt so bad because of it, it ruined our relationship even though I loved her, I couldn't trust her.

I don't know what to say...although ive been in similar situationts my self...

She didnt cheat..which was a positive..she just lied.

Yeah i know what its like to be tested over and over just to see how much i loved...and they werent little lies they were pretty serious....lies but still how could i have known...?

If anyone ever touched my girl in anyway that she didnt want to...id kill them with my own hands....but id make them cry for forgiveness and make them regret it....i still would not pity such honorless trash

Ask her what you can do to support her. If she does not know, just bring her flowers, go for a walk with her, tell her what she means to you. Do not pressure her for anything and let her set the pace. http://www.rainn.org/

I'm sorry this happened to your girlfriend:( Be patient with her because she's gonna have good and bad days. Talk to her about seeing a rape crisis counselor. Look up the number for the local rape crisis shelter in the area.

Things are going fine now. She's smiling again and it makes me feel wonderful. I will continue to love and comfort her. I thank everyone for their help and kind words.

I know how you feel dude...because my girlfriend has suffered sexual abuse from her disgusting step-father. I feel helpless and worthless...my advice is to be here for her no matter what, pretty much what chuckle12 said. I hope she'll recover and felt safe with you, because she's lucky to have you caring for her. I hope that scumbag gets caught and put in chair. Disgraceful human being...

Oh come on ZanderJGavin, sensitive much?

I'm sorry to hear about your girlfriends ordeal. Wish I had someone as concerned as you when I went through that myself. All I can say is, support her in every way. It'll be hard to be there all the time considering your lack of transport etc...but keep telling her how you feel about her. After going through something like that, one needs emotional support and to be reminded constantly how much they're loved. Good luck buddy

I'm going to say, she's lying.

She ****** him willingly, felt guilty, claimed rape.

Not the first time a girl has used that play.

I am sorry to hear this awful experience your girlfriend went through. I think you are very brave. Please also look after yourself. Because often when one tries to support another loved one through such traumatic experience, the own health also suffers. Just remember to find from time to time a space for you where you can breath and find ways to see the beauty of life, that usually gets so much overshadowed by such experience.
Check out "Mindfulness", it might help you and maybe her in the long term. This not some kind of religious drivel. It is about learning to pay attention to your body and soul. It can make you feel more confident about yourself and more equipped to deal with difficult situations.

If you have some time, you might want to check out Jon Kabat-Zinn
"The Healing Power of Mindfulness" http://youtu.be/_If4a-gHg_I

I so sorry to hear about your girlfriend. The best thing right now is to just be attentive to her because she really needs your support. Whether you sit on the phone or webcam for hours saying nothing, she just needs to know that you're there for her. I'm sure you've said how sorry you were and reminded her how much you love her. Tell her to just stay strong and that together, you'll get through this. I hope something or someone here helps. I'm so sorry again. Hope they catch him. God bless.

Thank you for your help. I really can't tell you how much I appreciate it. She's calmed down some, I was able to get her to go to sleep..she has an appointment in the morning and it's also going to be nerve racking. Now if only I can get this feeling of a bowling ball in stomach to go away..

My stomach*. Sorry I'm still really flustered..

Yeah I could only imagine what you're feeling since you can't be there with her right now. Give it time though. It'll go away eventually. Just sleep on it. Night and good luck with everything. Ever need help with anything, I'm always on here. Sorry again.

Well, I just got a text saying that she doesn't have anything, that's good. I hope she can return to her old self soon. I thank God every minute that he didn't kill her. Please God let everything be alright...She's my world, and I'm hers. We kinda hold each other in place so neither one of us can go off the deep end without the other. This nervous feeling in my stomach is killing me. I've been told that taking sips of water helps, and it sorta does..but only for a little while.

Everything will be okay eventually. Thank God, she's okay and everything. Though it's one of the worse situations possible, she's very blessed to be alive and okay and to have you and her family standing behind her. It's okay to still be nervous. Anyone would. It'll wear down but trust me, it'll never go away. For now just cherish the fact that she's still here.

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