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Into The West

I just watched (for the umpteenth time) LotR, The Return of the King. I have read the book a gazillion times, since  school days, before the movies came out, and even in between that. And it always saddens me to read it. More so, to watch the movie where it comes to life before my eyes. It makes me sad because in the back of faeriehead, it keeps whispering to me, "It's the end. It's the end. There will be no more".

My problem with detachment is clearly evident, even in books and movies. Once I get hooked on something, there seems to be no letting go.

I'd kick it.
Shove it.
Flick it.
Throw it.
Whack it.

And I can never seem to find the right way. The more I try, the more I hold on to it.
Such is the grasp of faerie fingers.

“How do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on, when in your heart, you begin to understand, there is no going back? There are some things that time cannot mend. Some hurts that go too deep...that have taken hold". ~Frodo
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Return Of The King


And here I realized where my problem lies. It is not about attaching myself to such things, or such people... it is about wanting to go back... have things as they used to be, especially when we don't feel the hurt.
This is where we get lost. Going back and forth.
This is where I keep getting lost.

There really is no going back. Even if you start off again in the same place, life will not be as how it used to be. We may retrace our steps, especially if things have gone wrong, but ourselves alone is already different as soon as we choose to retrace. All the events that have happened, all the emotions that have been involved... picking up the pieces only means to look back... never did it mean to live it again.

I am here where I am meant to be... for now. As I let time mend whatever hurts that can be mended. And leave the other hurts take hold of me, to let my heart understand more, to let my soul find its way... until such time comes, when the faerie, like Frodo, is ready to sail out into the west.

 

 
Sylphy Sylphy 41-45, F 5 Responses Feb 12, 2012

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And because he got the hot hobbitess at the Tavern, they had kids, there were no more bad guys to fight and he did what every man does to get away. Gets o a boat and goes fishin with his buds.

LOL! *whack* Every man does that, huh?

Or some other 'activity' to escape. Like union meetings.

With some trashing. Heck, it did work. You must have kept giving him drinks to stay longer. And to think there was a picket line outside! Hmph! *whack whack whack*

All throughout the task, they have always yearned to go back home. But it wasn't the "home" per se; it was the feeling of being there to how it used to be. Who wouldn't want to go back to a place filled with security compared to the struggles they all went through? They kept wishing, especially Frodo, being the ringbearer who among the Fellowship carried the weight of the world.



And they did go back. While for most of them, they were content; it wasn't the same for Frodo. Having gone through the task of carrying the ring, it changed him forever. As much as it changed Tolkien after the War.

It's true what you've said, that no matter how we would wish for things to go back and stay the same, after each trials and tribulations, we still go back to the same place... just to see... but only to prove in our hearts that while things remain physically similar, there is something different within us that will prove otherwise. "Home is where the heart is"... and Frodo's heart is not in The Shire anymore.



And when the time came for him to sail into the West, his heart knows he's getting closer to a new home.



And eventually Sam... after his extended life in The Shire... he sailed, too... because of his own struggles to bear the ring.

Its not the looking back that is the trouble or the feeling of homesickness, that wanting of the old and familiar. The fellowship was forever changed by the journey they took, the ordeals they faced and adventures they shared. BItter sweet. But they were all touched and changed by the journey. Home was the same when they returned and no one even had an inkling of the deeds they accomplished. It stayed the same. Our ideal....the memory of a better time does too but we do not. Were now different and we know it, bearing wounds and scars to prove it.



Tolkien denied that he had WW1 in mind when writing these books. But he was an officer during that war and survived one of the worst battles where they had a very high mortality rate. Those experience affected him and influenced who he became. I dont think home was what it once was but it was appreciated so much more than before, probably because it would never be what it was again.

Y' know... for a baby... you babble a lot. You must really need diaper changing! Do you prefer with or without powder? ;p

Thank you, ladies... love you both! *squishy hugs!!!*

**sits at the Western edge of the forest waiting for Faerie to emerge** I'll steer the boat for you Sylphy just to be sure you know the way.

Wanted somewhere veering South actually... but to change the title will not have the same impact... "Into the South"... makes it sound like I'm a goose! ;p

I can steer the boat whichever direction you like ... :-)

Towards the South then, matey! *props pirate hat on Blissy*

:P yaaargh!!

Let me get my faeriescope... sees direction better. And whoever gets in the way, we'll shove them to take the plank. ;p

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