Can't Keep Track Of Time

It seems as if my whole world is falling apart and I can't do anything about because it's my fault. I have lost people that I love and I blame all their deaths on me.....I wake up every morning with a pit in my heart...so deep it gives me anxiety attacks. I feel so lonely everyday is another step of loneliness. I don't even know what hope or faith is anymore. What is it?

First my grandpa, grandma,dog,aunt,niece, and I've lost these people but not because of death but because of communication, two of my best friends,my sister,brother,mom.

Could it get any worse?