I Lost Myself Somewhere Along the Way

Feeling Lost

By: Jackie003

Written on June 18th, 2007

I am feeling like I lost myself. I am feeling like what happened to myself...
All of this started since I moved to different country. This is my second time to move to different country, but this time, it is quite hard.

When I was in US, I think I was strong and independent person. I did a lot of things by myself, even road trip to different states. I loved dancing, I really enjoyed. I also studying for what I wanted to be. While, all the time I was looking for somebody special and spend my life with.

Now, I met that person and we moved to different country, since he got his job. I wanted to be with him, so I ended up giving up a lot of things and my favorite place to live.

Here I am now... I am depressed and weak. I feel like I cannot even overcome small things in my life. I feel like my life does not have hope. I do not have much motivation to do anything much even with my career. Where is myself, who was strong, challenging, and did what I want?? Did I lose myself somewhere? I thought I got what I want... but why am I like this??

By: Jackie003

Age: 26-30 , Female

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5 responses

tornbetweenmymind

So two days ago i was venting about how unhappy i am in the relationship that i have been in for going on five years now. He loves me but shouldn't. What i did to him was so horrible on so many levels. The damage i have done is unforgivable. He has lost his confidence, his self worth, drive the list can go on and on. I really think he can be such an amazing guy for a good girl. I would love to see him happy. He is not happy with me and never will be. He just doesn't want to be alone and wont let me go, again. Cause the last time i hurt and embarrassed him so terribly. So yesterday i was on Facebook, which i hardly go on. And i get a message from an ex of mine who tells me he misses me and will rescue me from my depressed life i am living in. He tells me he will buy me a ticket right now to go stay with him. He says that out of all the girls he ever was with, he has always loved me unconditionally. He said i can stay with him and he will never kick me out or tell me what to do... I feel like this is an opportunity that i should not miss out on. I have spent many nights crying feeling like i have nobody to rescue me from the hell that i endure with him every day. Dreaming of a way out but have nobody. Then finally yesterday my dream came true but i am stuck. I want to go but feel bad leaving him without anything. I have done that once before and it killed him inside. I am holding myself back from the life i should be living. I think its the guilt, shame, and lack of self worth. I think i just need a good kick in the ***. Please Help Me Anyone!!!!! I am a young talented beautiful girl wasting her life away depressed and using drugs. I want out but don't have the strength!

Mar 14
1 like
- nothingtypical
  I think by staying with him your just torturing yourself as payback for what you did? You BOTH deserve better. Do not use him. Just move on. Make the proper adjustments within yourself to let go. I feel sorry for this gentlemen. I really do. Because frankly it seems like you purposely hurt him and when it was you left with nothing he welcomed you back with open arms. If you are not grateful, you should be. Most men would not offer what he's offered you. I sure wouldn't!!! LOL I mean, he sounds like he needs to let go.....but it's you that won't let him? I hope you two work through this and find a median. God bless you! Keep me updated?
  
  Mar 24
  1 like
Mozart7

I thank having a special friend, does not mean to move from your life and what you love. No one ales can make you happy. You have to be happy alone first and then that right person will come. I was married 2 times, both have pass away now. But what I said will work for you too. You are strong when you can see somthing has to change in you first, others will see that strong,happy person and want to meet you. Look for the same like's in your life. And don't try to change them, love and just except them.

Jul 2, 2012
2 likes
tamihurts

hi jackie, though i havent moved anywhere, i understand what you mean when you say even little things become big issues, it's the same for me when i get to a certain day or hr. i will withdraw from evrything and everyone. i hide away or pretend i could runaway somewhere magical where all these things won't bother me anymore, but really i know i have to face my demons head on. i haven't even started yet myself but maybe you might be ready to. just tackle it one day at a time. turn and face those little problems and slowly you'll get your strength back and eventually you'll find yourself again

Jul 27, 2011
3 likes
aces4battle

If you are not married, go home. Special someone does mean sharing things and places, but to be unhappy? NOT

Aug 6, 2010
3 likes

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