Who Am I, What Am I?

The days just add up one on top of the other and I know I am wasting them, wasting my life, wasting my brain, my talents and skills. Wasting away. I managed my husbands business, not the dream job I wanted but I was good at it. We lost it this past fall, lost everything. Had to move hours away from family and friends to take the only job available. Here now...alone, exhausted, frustrated, angry, bitter and lost. I wanted to go to school. Married young raised my children this was supposed to be my time, my time to find my dreams, to achieve my goals. Instead I am here with nothing, starting over from scratch. Having to take yet another boring demeaning job to make ends meet. It’s like the past 28 years have all meant nothing. And he cheated on me 18 months ago and I’m still here going through all this **** with him, loving him, trying to rebuild what seemed like a wonderful marriage. Trying to put back together a life with a future. How can I make this work when I don’t even know who I am anymore.

janne317 janne317
41-45, F
2 Responses Feb 20, 2009

I have been trying to become a better person for years now, I have had to deal with my spouse cheating etc. what I realize now is, I have been looking for me all the time... This gtoup has made me aware of this thank GOD..

[hugs] you will find yourself. Listen to you heart - start small, maybe do one thing for just YOU each week. Start really thinking about what you like and try ALL new things!!! I know where you are -- you can do this.