What Happened to Me?

I started college in august, thats when i lost me who i was i. I feel like i should blame it on me losing my high school bf i guess thats kinda where it all started. I had a difficult time with the break up but it wasnt just that, i wasnt happy anymore, i used to be so positive and bubbly and just happy inside and out. I now have to fake it. I have become someone who doesnt even want to see my friends anymore they just remind me of who i used to be and where i would like to be again. I find my self just wanting to lay around the house and hang ou there. I spend alot of time with my mom now (i stayed home for college) not that its a bad thing, but i feel like i have no friends any more even though i do. I just dont want to go out i find excuses no to hang out with them. I though college was supposed to be the best time of my life and i am completely miserable i just go through life with hardly any meaning behimd it. I am just throwing away days just going threw the motions. I am not me anymore i am not happy anymore i have become an emotional wreck and owe part of it to a boy who took part of me i cant get back with him.

Kirbiebella Kirbiebella
1 Response Feb 25, 2009

I stayed home during my college years and it was hard to find friends. I did end up making some but not close ones that I could connect to. I think I made better friendships with coworkers then from college. I did ended up attending school events usually alone. Don't feel like college is the best experience in your life. It's where I got lost and depressed. (I just graduated and still am.) It is a chance however, in your life to help you to learn more about yourself and explore new things and ideas.<br><br><br />
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That's great that you have your Mom's company. <br><br><br />
How long has it been since the break up? Where there any hobbies or interests you wanted to pursue but never got around doing all these years? Do you like to read? Maybe try reading a new book at a coffee shop alone once a week? Or listening to a new genre of music? Start a membership at a GYM? Go for a long walk alone and think?<br><br />
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Your life if too valuable to lose to the past. Good luck!