There was an accident when I was 6 yrs old. It was horrible. Many people died, but mostly people were injured or not hurt at all. There was I think 300 and something that died. 400 and something injured and the rest were okay. I don't know the exact numbers. Like I said I was 6.
My 2 aunts died (mom sisters) My 4 cousins died. and one of my great uncle's wife died too. And my uncle's wife who he had just married died, too. But most importantly is my Mom.
I've had my share of near death experiences, but it's different I guess.
It's like I've lost so many people I care about. Aunts cousins my mom and it just breaks my heart everytime I think about it.
Especially my Mom. I mean yeah my anunts are dear and close to my heart and they've got kids so I know how they feel. And cousins they were like friends I could never have, but one of them was a year old. My uncles wives didn't know them that well. doesn't mean it doesn't still break me inside. Makes me ache and hurt all over.
My mom. I've always wondered how it would be if she were still here. I just miss her. I want somebody I can talk to. I want somebody that can hold be, care about me, love me, but I don't think I'll never get that. I don't think I even know how those things feel. I barely remeber my mom, but I still miss her and every last one of them. I can see them for seconds in my head, but then they just disappear.
Is it too much to ask for. wanting to be with her no matter which worlds we're in. Sometimes i think dying is that bad, but I'm still a little bit hesitianted to leave the people that I care about right now. I wanna be with her and them, but how long am I supposed to wait till that day.
I miss them like crazy. Makes me wanna beg God to take my life now, but than again I don't know. I should probably just wait till my time, and then we'll be together again. If that's ever possible.
The lose of a loved one doesn't ends somebody's life, just gives it meaning.