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I Miss Him So Much

I cry almost every day. I dont know if I should think about him or not. The feelings and thoughts are overwhelming. Today he has been gone for nine months and my heart is still sore. I wish I could think of him and smile, but only tears show my expression. My heart hurts and I am tired of crying. I cant get it through my head that he isnt going to be there when I get home. Everything reminds me of him. I wish I could do something. In judiaism we learn Torah or some religious book in memory of someone who passed away. I do that all the time but I dont know if that effects him or his soul. I wish I could speak to him again, or have a dream about him. Does anyone have any suggestions? I honestly want to get back to normal life again. Somehow living without him by my side.

mymoosey mymoosey 18-21, F Dec 16, 2009

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